Gransnet forums

Relationships

Lonely

(72 Posts)
Patsyfagan Fri 06-Nov-20 12:43:31

Feeling lonely, not just because of lockdown but generally. Been on my own for 3 years now. Thinking about joining a dating site but there are so many and numerous bad reports, any recommendations. ?

MawB2 Fri 06-Nov-20 13:09:23

I would have thought now was precisely not the time to be looking at internet dating as it would be hard to travel or meet.
You do not say whether you are widowed or divorced , have you found it hard to build up a social life pre-Covid?
I was widowed almost exactly three years ago and yes, life can be lonely, but good friends and neighbours have helped enormously.
Good luck to you - but it’s not something I would contemplate.

boodymum67 Fri 06-Nov-20 13:17:32

I think the opposite to Maw, because you could use this lockdown time to get to know some people on a dating site from the safety of your own home. Things could be taken very slowly and a meet up could happen a few months down the line.

Sorry I don't know any reputable dating sites....heard of Tinder but that`s all....it might be ok..dunno really

Good luck

phoenix Fri 06-Nov-20 13:25:57

What about that one that's advertised on TV, for the over 50's (I think)

You know, the one where the chap with the beard says "Every time I'm with her I can't stop smiling" and I think "Better get your dentures adjusted then".

Niobe Fri 06-Nov-20 13:35:51

Phoenix- 😂

Charleygirl5 Fri 06-Nov-20 13:44:28

It is such a pity we cannot do any more coffee/lunch GN meetups for the foreseeable future. That may be something to think about for next year if we ever get back to some sort of normality.

Which part of the country do you reside?

loopyloo Fri 06-Nov-20 15:42:35

Yes Charleygirl. What fun we had at Debenhams! Despite the fierce air conditioning.....

FarNorth Fri 06-Nov-20 15:59:29

Patsyfagan do you really want a 'love interest'? They can be more bother than they're worth.

I have 2 friends who used the Plenty of Fish dating site but the men they met didn't sound too delightful.
Each now has a relationship with a man she already knew.

(Couldn't Grans do a zoom Meetup?)

AGAA4 Fri 06-Nov-20 16:06:25

Patsyfagan you could dip your toe in the water and try some dating sites. It may be fun and you could possibly meet someone this way. Take time to get to know someone but also think about other friendships. When Covid rules are relaxed eventually join some groups like U3A or WI.
You may find you don't need a man in your life if you have friends and interests.

Nonogran Fri 06-Nov-20 16:31:51

Hello Patsy, how worldly wise are you? Are you an intuitive person? If you're thinking of dating sites they can be a minefield & lonesome souls, however intelligent or professional, can easily be sucked in by smooth talkers & sweet profiles. If someone gets in touch on line, keep your emails at first, via the dating website, don't give away too much personal detail too soon and eventually if you meet up, make sure you tell someone close to you where you're going & what time you think you'll be home. I've know several successful internet relationships/marriages even, but I've also heard some very sad/bad encounters too. It's a bit of a lottery but can be good fun & a positive experience. Finally, the minute anyone asks you for money, even the cost of a stamp, BAIL OUT! Good luck & take care. Big hug.

crazyH Fri 06-Nov-20 16:45:18

I've been divorced for a few years, joined an over50s Club.....Sadly, we have no meet- ups now, but I made some great friends there, done lots of interesting trips.
Also met up with a lovely lady from Gransnet, and keep in touch with her.
You don't need a man in your life. For me, one was enough. But if that's what you want, please take the advice of the wise
ladies here. Good luck !!!

MissAdventure Fri 06-Nov-20 16:52:13

You may find you get some ads for dating sites pop up on gransnet now.

Good luck! (Hopefully you'll not need it)

grannysyb Fri 06-Nov-20 17:07:20

Charleygirl, hopefully we will be able to meet up again next year.

chelseababy Fri 06-Nov-20 17:16:25

How about the dating section of some newspapers? Or Yours magazine. I used Dateline but that was 25+ years ago and contact names arrived by post!

MissAdventure Fri 06-Nov-20 17:24:56

www.ourtime.co.uk/unlogged/landing/bn/?mtcmk=866583&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhZT9BRDmARIsAN2E-J0rlc7S2ixERDSzlwuHDrhHRdUTe-q6N5e3jp22LWodPresmU7GY5YaArZsEALw_wcB

I think this is the site that is advertised on tv.

Davidhs Fri 06-Nov-20 18:17:23

There are plenty of ladies on dating sites, I’m not sure how many men, you have to be pretty open minded because some are just time wasters, one or two abusive, those you just block.
You must post an attractive photo, not a distorted selfie (a lot do that). Chat to as many as you want you will soon find one you like, then it’s time to find out how genuine he is ask more searching questions.

Eventually you will phone him then meet for a coffee (after lockdown). It’s just a date you’re looking for follow your instincts.

Charleygirl5 Fri 06-Nov-20 18:38:59

grannysyb and loopyloo- I agree that would be really good. I have a feeling we may not need to worry about that fierce airconditioning because Debenhams may be closed any time soon.

Put your thinking caps on please for our next move. Preferably without a route march to find the loo.

Cathy21 Sat 07-Nov-20 09:48:33

I met a lovely local man on Silver Singles. Recommend that site.

EmilyHarburn Sat 07-Nov-20 09:49:39

I would do some market research. You do not want lots of offers from totally unsuitable people including those who do romantic cons and get you to part with your money.

This is a place to start
mashable.com/uk/roundup/best-dating-sites-uk/?europe=true

This is a US site on romance scams.
www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-you-need-know-about-romance-scams

Good luck

25Avalon Sat 07-Nov-20 09:51:43

Saga have a dating site if you are of in certain age.

Seems no harm but if you are looking for friendship as opposed to romance then maybe what used to be called a pen pal. Idk what the modern digital equivalent is but then you could have several friends.

songstress60 Sat 07-Nov-20 09:52:07

I would not entertain it as so many con merchants are out there to part you from your cash, and if it's not your cash they want it's a bit on the side! How many of these so-called single men are actually married looking for a bit of extra marital fun.

Gramps47 Sat 07-Nov-20 09:57:52

Hi Lonely;
I have been on 3 sites; to my mind ClassicFM Romance was best for a few reasons, not least the amount of information you could see about the contacts. But be aware that these sites all trade under different brands and share your details with other brands, but only in their group; eg if you enlist on Classic FM you will also appear on Saga and other sites.
I found a lovely lady some months back and we are (were - up to lockdown) seeing each other regularly and thoroughly enjoy being with each other. It’s just a shame (for us) that the ‘established relationship’ clause was dropped from the Nov 5 change.
So good luck, but caveat emptor, as others on here warn you too. Just use your natural female caution. 😊

123kitty Sat 07-Nov-20 10:00:43

When we get back to normal try U3A, don't join a knitting group, you're looking for something on the huge list of activities that will interest both sexes, for example bowls, walking, gardening. I feel so sorry for all the people who must have been so lonely over the last few months and have now got to face lockdown again. Good luck.

Authoress Sat 07-Nov-20 10:04:52

Saga is good; it's an aggregator site, people join from Saga, Classic FM, and I think the Telegraph; I've met a couple of people who've become friends through there.
I wouldn't touch Plenty of Fish or Match with a barge-pole; some really odd people on there.
Wait until the paid-for sites have an offer on, then give it a go... Just be very careful; all dating sites are ripe places to rip people off, by getting you attached to a man (who may be a call-center type operation in China or Nigeria, etc) then ask you for money.

Shinamae Sat 07-Nov-20 10:07:36

This is my take on it 😂