Lonely

Patsyfagan

We are all adults here and I would ignore the negative remarks.

I am now living with my partner of three years and during lockdown have seen who he really is. Not perfect but neither am I. We fit each other like a glove. I did meet someone else six years ago but the distance for me was too far and I ended it.(15 months) My two friends also met there partners on the same website. Angie is still with hers but Chris,s turned out to be a womaniser(74 and obese) BUT fast forward to two months ago and Chris decided to take up the offer by Match.com £3.99 for 3 days and met a man who lives just around the corner from her and wow Cupids bow struck. They see each other every day he is 73 Chris is 68. I met my partner on a dating site called Ourtime(for the over 50s)

I do not need a man or indeed am I desperate BUT companionship in your retirement years as well as being in love is absolutely wonderful. Go for it and even in Lockdown, a facetime will be something to look forward too. Hopefully Lockdown will be only for a month.Good luck

This is me ......

I’m with MawB2 on this. I’ve been single for just over 3 years now, having divorced my husband of almost 30 years. He used dating sites, which is probably why they’re totally abhorrent to me and I’d never consider joining one. While many people who join are genuine, I’m sure, there are no doubt a lot of untrustworthy people who use them to meet others they think are vulnerable. I’ve found it’s much more rewarding to keep occupied in other ways. Sure, there are restrictions due to coronavirus at the moment, but better to be safe.

I think Classic FM has a dating site - they probably call it something better than that though. If I was in your position patsyfagan I would do as another poster suggested juts get to know one or two people for on line chatting but be very very careful. As soon as they mention money delete them. I would also do that if they said anything sexual but that's a personal choice.

Go for it! As long as you take sensible precautions what have you got to lose? Eleven years ago my sister-in-law persuaded me to go on a dating site. I joined for precisely 7 days and went on just one date with a lovely man. One year later we married and have been together happily ever since. Not only is he the love of my life, he is my best friend. We celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary in December. Good luck, it can work ?

I’ve been on the free sites they advertise as a friend recommended but I would say steer clear of them because I found a lot were not being truthful of there circumstances. You get more peace of mind on the paying sites as they won’t waste there money or your time. Depending on your age and what your looking for there are ones for over a certain age I think Sage have one and there’s ones for dog owners. However Match.com do an extensive question list so they can be sure to match you with someone that has same beliefs and interests as you. I have 2 friends that have successful long relationships from meeting on this site, but I believe its expensive however they do deals where you can try it out for 14 days for half price. Good luck

Ladies,
Thank you for all your comments. I posed the question now as lockdown will give me more of an opportunity to reflect. Not looking for a permanent romantic relationship just companionship to enjoy life together. I live in the North East, plucked up the courage to join various groups but they were all closed at beginning of the first lockdown. Thought I could use this time to communicate rather than meet up. Will reflect carefully. Thanks once again, don't feel quite so alone now.

Just start by building up a good rapport but be wary, especially when we are permitted to venture out don’t let anybody know where you live. I am not trying to teach Grandma how to “suck eggs” here.
I wish you the very best of luck, I know how lonely it can be, especially if your health is good, and you want to embrace life. In fact I admire your courage.
Do let us know how you get on?

I think you're saying that you want company and interest. Why not just try joining some community organisations first. Many have Zoom meetings at the moment. It's a start, and if it fits the bill, you don't need to go on 'dating' sites which would lay you open to all sorts of charlatans and time-wasters.

Without a doubt..go for it! And yes, this is the perfect time. Lockdown gives you the security that you won’t feel pressured by anyone wishing to “hurry things along” for whatever reason and meet up. Conversely, it affords you the opportunity to exchange lots of messages, e mails, call, zoom times etc.
Of course you need to be vigilant and intuitive, but there are also many, many positive and happy outcomes. It also doesn’t have to be about meeting “the one”.....a friend of mine made quite a few male friends for life before finally meeting her now husband. Life is too short, just keep your wits and your boundaries about you! Lots of luck x

Do read all the safety measures first There are a lot of scammers on them. The BBC did a very good programme about it. It is called For Love or Money. It is still available on iplayer. Worth watching before you embark on this. Good luck

a friend who i thought was savvy, got hooked into a dating scam, she was lucky she got out quick but it took an emotional toll, Some find love online, but the chances are very high according to some reports, 562 dates to find love,then the relationships don't last as long as the traditional ways to find someone.With this lockdown is it a good time, as lots of us are fed up, and longing for something?There has been an influx romance scammers preying on lonely folk,
Be careful out there!

Maybe watch some of Nev and Max’s catfish shows on mtv first & Buyer beware like online shopping!!! My friend is on one in the USA and has met a few nice men who are now friends ... (but also met her now ex-husband on it too!!!!)

I've been on my own for 30 years and wouldn't want another partner. It never occurs to me. I certainly wouldn't try and find one on a dating site. You never know what you might get. If it's meant for you to find someone, they'll come into your life. No-one wants a needy partner, so best to fill your life with interesting activities to offset the loneliness you say you feel. After all, loneliness is a state of mind, and you can easily choose not to feel alone.

I see no reason why you shouldn't use online dating provided you are careful. I would choose Saga, Classic FM and other such reputable sites as above. I have a friend who used Plenty of Fish and met some fairly weird people so would stay clear. However, if anyone starts asking for money, no matter how genuine it seems, shut them down immediately. Apparently there are crooks who set up places similar to call centres whose staff join under false names and built rapport with vulnerable people before starting to ask for money saying they need it for medical treatment or as a short term loan as their business is struggling etc. Sorry had to warn you but hope it doesn't put you off.

I have tried a few dating sites but have given them up, partly because they were expensive, but also the men I eventually met were a complete washout. I chose to meet them for coffee and snacks in a local pub. One talked incessantly about his late wife, another asked if I prefer cats or dogs, and when I said dogs, he got up and said that he preferred cats and therefore we were not suited. I did meet a very nice man and we had a few dates but then he started making excuses as to why he couldn't see me, such as his daughter was going on holiday and he had to look after her dog, etc... One man I corresponded with lived many miles away near Gretna Green and I met him when I took a coach holiday to Ireland and it stopped there for the night. We corresponded after that for about a year and then he mysteriously disappeared. Dont expect too much. Good luck.

I once went to a group for singles - the man who intoduced himself via a message asked me to go to a local pub for a drink. Oh dear!
’You’ll know me because I will be wearing a
”pure new wool jacket”’ he wrote, after I’d agreed.
A dumpy man in his forties, never married or co-habiting.
Drinks ordered. Did I like saunas? What about naturism?

I suddenly ’had a call from my babysitter” and had to leave immediately!
I met my OH 20 years ago over my garden wall after he moved in next door.

I met Mme SS on the French Parships site. I had already met some very nice people on the UK site but then work took me to Paris. She's the love of my life and we both agree that it was such a great decision to look on the internet. When friends ask us how we met we joke that it's amazing what one can find on Ebay!
I'd strongly recommend that you give it a try.

I meant to add that we have been together for almost thirteen years!

I think if I was feeling lonely I wouldn't necessarily join a dating site but would join something like Red Hatters or a local Social Club to meet people in the hope I would widen my social group. If love is what you are after, I suspect that dating sites are full of charlatans or rejects (I speak from experience) and it is better to meet someone in a more natural environment.

Have you seen Yours Magazine? They have pages with people looking for a friend or more.

Could be useful.

Good luck! xx

In my mid 30’s I was persuaded by friends to try plenty of fish (POF) I struck up a conversation with one man and received many many er for want of a better phrase ’dick pics’ - be careful, it became comical after a while! The man who I chatted with I met after a month or two if chatting online daily and on the phone. We had our first child together 7 months ago and have been together for almost 5 years. My two girls decided he was their Daddy one day a few years ago.
It can be wonderful but it can also be a complete nightmare. Be careful as nit everyone is who or what they say they are. If you do meet up make sure you have had many weeks chatting on line before you give out your number and when you do meet make it public and make sure someone knows where you are and checks up on you. Text them if you move location for any reason .
Have fun and good luck

I met and chatted to several people on line, on the Silversurfers website. I joined up for 6 months and spent time on it every day. I fine tuned my profile and the profile of what my ideal would be.
A lot of the people lived too far away. There were lots of men to be aware of and steer clear. There are some who groom and prey on you and are not who they say they are. But there’s lots of other genuine lovely folk. The first and last one I actually agreed to meet, is now my lovely dear friend and partner of over 4 years.

I did try Plenty of Fish but I had a few wierdies.

I won't suggest the name of the friendship website that I joined, even though I made some nice friends and corresponded with them. My now DH was one of them, and a true gent.

It was a naturist friendship website - but it's not everyone's cuppa tea.

Whatever you decide... all the best!

Now, I think this is a strange thing, but, since the Bodach died, I’ve been getting lots of friend requests from men. Their pages have little or no information, so I wonder why they are sending these to me. Here’s today’s....