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Sulky husband.

(83 Posts)
aly Fri 27-Nov-20 21:27:19

My DH has been diagnosed with glaucoma and for the past 2 weeks he has spoken of nothing else. You will think me heartless, but when he again mentioned whether he would need to inform his insurance company, something we have discussed countless times, I rolled my eyes. He has immediately gone into a sulk and has not spoken to me all day, I did apologise but to no avail. How would you cope with this.

Lucretzia Fri 27-Nov-20 21:32:05

I don't think you're heartless at all. When Mr Lucretiza was diagnosed with Diabetes type 2 he was similar. Every conversation seemed to revolve around the diagnosis.

Maybe you could jump in first and tell him to get on to the insurance?

I'm sure he'll get used to it soon

Good luck!

Grannynannywanny Fri 27-Nov-20 21:33:10

I’d enjoy the peace and leave him to his sulk!

MissAdventure Fri 27-Nov-20 21:36:41

I'm no good with sulkers, I'm afraid.

I suppose at least you know why he is doing it.
The worst culprits are those who won't tell you what you've done wrong.

sodapop Fri 27-Nov-20 21:52:07

I'm with Grannynannywanny leave him to his sulking and do your own thing.

NanKate Fri 27-Nov-20 21:59:29

Put your feet up, get a good book and ignore his childish behaviour, he will soon come round.

Hetty58 Fri 27-Nov-20 22:07:13

aly, it could well be that he's really worried about it. Perhaps he feels unable to express that. Maybe he has other concerns (like the pandemic) and is distracting himself by focusing on the glaucoma?

Of course, sulking is infantile and very annoying. Just carry on as normal and offer to help with the practical stuff, like the insurance. He won't sulk forever.

grumppa Fri 27-Nov-20 22:09:53

Which insurance is he talking about, motor, life, sickness? If his GP or optician has advised against driving, then he should inform his motor insurer.

BradfordLass73 Sat 28-Nov-20 00:33:20

I wouldn't have married a sulker in the first place grin this surely can't be the first time he's had a paddy?
He's probably scared.

Redhead56 Sat 28-Nov-20 02:05:42

If the human race depended on men we would become extinct. They are like children and any ailment they have especially small becomes a crisis they cannot cope. My best friend worked all her working life for NHS she says the bigger and tougher looking the man the weaker. I am not a man hater at all I adore my husband but they are different.

Oldtimer60 Sat 28-Nov-20 07:52:29

Redhead56

If the human race depended on men we would become extinct. They are like children and any ailment they have especially small becomes a crisis they cannot cope. My best friend worked all her working life for NHS she says the bigger and tougher looking the man the weaker. I am not a man hater at all I adore my husband but they are different.

Just as women are all different, some are talkers, some are sulkers, others are understanding while many are not.

The world relies on both sexes and their different ways in life to exist at all.

Gingster Sat 28-Nov-20 08:21:23

Can’t stand sulkers . My DH can drive me mad but a sulker he is not. We can have a heated ‘discussion’ and go quiet on each other and 2 minutes later, he’s chatting away as though nothing had been said.

Billybob4491 Sat 28-Nov-20 08:27:45

Count your blessings Aly

cc Sat 28-Nov-20 09:38:14

Many men seem to be such a pain when they get older (no sexism here so I should add that we are all a bit of a pain when we get older, male or female).
My DH gets a topic into his head from the news or whatever and then goes on and on about it for days. He starts from the beginning of his story every single time, repeating absolutely everything and then maybe adding a tiny nugget of new information at the end of the monologue.
He gets very sulky if I ask him to skip the preamble and just give me the new information - I feel a bit guilty for shutting him up, but really don't want to hear everything again for the upteenth time.

Moggycuddler Sat 28-Nov-20 09:45:18

It must be very annoying, but I suspect it's because he's feeling very anxious about his diagnosis, especially at the moment with covid to worry about as well. In some people, anxiety and worry manifests as babbling or ranting on about something, or in temper tantrums. Maybe try to be a bit more understanding?

Coco51 Sat 28-Nov-20 09:46:20

He’s probably terrified of losing his sight and the implications of not being able to see. That’s not sulking, it’s a major life changing event.

Shropshirelass Sat 28-Nov-20 09:51:46

My husband has health issues and does moan but it is awful for him. I roll my eyes but only when out of sight! He is always going on about the VIRUS. In my head I say FFS shut up! I must admit it does get me down, but I am not the one suffering. He has gone from being a dynamic go getter to a broken man and he knows it. Awful to see and deal with. Your husband will be afraid of what is to come, sight is so precious. Good luck.

25Avalon Sat 28-Nov-20 09:53:11

I think he is very worried and anxious and unable to get it off his mind. So he goes over and over the same old ground driving you mad in the process. He has gone into a sulk, you have apologised but to no avail. I don’t see you can do any more except leave him to his own devices until he comes round. You could make his favourite cake but I think you need to chat about the glaucoma to help him come to terms with it. Look up as much as you can.

soldiersailor Sat 28-Nov-20 09:53:49

Sorry but I think you're being heartless. For him it's a matter of enormous importance; his eyesight is threatened and he feels you are taking it in a very unsympathetic manner. I have little sympathy with sulkers either but when, 25 years ago, I was diagnosed as Type 2 diabetic it hit hard but my wife was a strong support when I needed it. So you should show some humanity and help him past this. Rolling your eyes is not acceptable. Imagine your reaction of it was he who did that if you were diagnosed as having glaucoma.

Jillybird Sat 28-Nov-20 09:55:22

I agree with Coco. If it was me I'd be terrified. Men have been brought up to be strong and heroic, so it's especially hard on them when they are shown to be 'faulty'. He's focussing on insurance because that's a practical thing and some action can be taken. Try not to get annoyed, maybe ask him what else practical can be done. This is lifechanging for him.

25Avalon Sat 28-Nov-20 09:57:53

Well said soldiersailor. Nice to have a male viewpoint.

twinnytwin Sat 28-Nov-20 09:59:14

My DH was diagnosed with glaucoma and prescribed eye drops to reduce the pressure. However, on his last check up they found the drops weren't making any difference and an operation was required. As the waiting time on the NHS was at least 12 months we decided to go privately and he had the operation almost immediately. I was more concerned than DH was, but eyesight is so precious. I think your husband is very concerned, hence talking about it all the time. I probably would too.

Juicylucy Sat 28-Nov-20 10:00:35

I’m with coco51, must be very upsetting for him. If it was me I would say to him the sulking is not helping our situation in fact it’s making it worse.

sandelf Sat 28-Nov-20 10:06:23

Tend to agree - you underestimated how serious this is, and so how worried he is. You both need to know what type of Glaucoma, how much if any sight has he already lost, what treatment plan is advised etc etc. It can be slowed/controlled but is really not trivial. Just imagine how limiting life is without reliable sight - could not even do this.

nipsmum Sat 28-Nov-20 10:12:22

I'm sorry for you. I don't tolerate sulking at all. Its childish and juvenile behaviour and solves nothing. You're not being heartless. Tell him to discuss it with the the professional who diagnosed it. He really does need to grow up and man up. I'm afraid that's what I would be saying.