I really want to find some support, advices what can I do. Although, now I understand I’m powerless and can’t do anything, just let go.
I slept for 2 hours last night and cried the whole day and night. I never could imagined it could happen to me.
I love a guy from Pakistan. We met while studying in the UK, I am from Ukraine. Almost 8 months we were meeting every day, we had always so good time with each other, understanding, respect, could say everything and support each other, and never said anything bad to each other. First few months he was scared to promise me something. But then he said that he wanted to be with me. And I really love him and it’s my first time I met such a person. In august I went home to Ukraine. We talked on phone every single day. In December he went home (they live in Saudi Arabia). 3 days ago he heard that his parents were discussing that he’s gonna marry soon as he’s old enough. And he decided to say about me. He said yesterday to his mom. And then he told me he didn’t expect this and he doesn’t have hope anymore. That his mom is against me as I’m not Pakistani. Few hours later he said that actually it all happens as they told his aunt to marry his cousin and all her relatives know about that already. He told her parents he loves me and I’m the best person, but his mom says they know better what he needs, and that his dad did everything to him and he should listen and respect them. If he says no, his dad’s sister will have fight with his family. And they will have fight with him. And they will never accept me probably. And he said that he doesn’t want me to go through this and said to breakup. And it’s likely that he will marry that girl as he doesn’t want to fight.
At night I wrote this: i still can’t believe and can’t accept this. I still hope that I or he can do something and something will change. Though maybe it useless hope which will make me feel worse. And he is not even gonna do anything I think… but how is it like this? I love him and he really loves me. I imagined future with him and thought how good man he is. The best for me. How can he be with cousin who he doesn’t know and doesn’t like? How will he be happy? His mom says he’ll be happy and if with me, he won’t, and that our children would blame us that we chose each other. But how can he listen always to them and even “love” someone they say? I can’t believe this is happening.
This morning I planned to not contact him as he told me that that’s and he didn’t really want to discuss anything else. But I woke up and called him, he didn’t want to talk. And texted him, I had hope we could do something, I offered him ways and wanted to be with him. But again he said he can’t do anything and he will marry and manage this. That it will be better for everyone, it’s so painful to understand. But after so much trying and hearing that he won’t do anything for us, I finally accepted that nothing depends on me and he really has this decision. And I have mixed feelings about him. I love him, I’m sorry for him, I know it’s so difficult for him. But I can’t understand why he can’t do anything if he loves me. If he loves, he can find ways to be with me. IF not, I was a bit mistaken... but felt that he loves till the last evening. Maybe it’s so normal in their culture, but I really can’t understand it.
Sash0301 Wed 16-Dec-20 18:34:45
EllanVannin Wed 16-Dec-20 18:39:53
Sparklefizz Wed 16-Dec-20 19:02:24
BlueBelle Wed 16-Dec-20 19:12:11
sodapop Wed 16-Dec-20 19:12:32
M0nica Wed 16-Dec-20 19:40:44
Sash0301 Wed 16-Dec-20 20:21:55
Sash0301 Wed 16-Dec-20 20:24:45
petra Wed 16-Dec-20 20:44:21
EllanVannin Wed 16-Dec-20 20:48:50
Dinahmo Wed 16-Dec-20 20:53:16
Sash0301 Wed 16-Dec-20 21:16:37
Sash0301 Wed 16-Dec-20 21:27:09
Hithere Wed 16-Dec-20 21:52:04
geekesse Wed 16-Dec-20 22:05:51
ExD Wed 16-Dec-20 22:17:41
M0nica Wed 16-Dec-20 22:28:35
Hetty58 Thu 17-Dec-20 00:54:22
Sash0301 Thu 17-Dec-20 05:51:32
Sash0301 Thu 17-Dec-20 05:58:53
BlueBelle Thu 17-Dec-20 06:36:10
Sash0301 Thu 17-Dec-20 07:30:15
BlueBelle Thu 17-Dec-20 07:54:34
Sash0301 Thu 17-Dec-20 08:14:18
ExD Thu 17-Dec-20 11:21:22