Mother in law has not given step granddaughter gift

I’m afraid this happened to me but it was my sister who bought gifts for my two boys but nothing for my step- daughter. Unfortunately, I was furious and had words with her on Christmas Day. However, we did repair our sisterly relations and she never did that again.
Good Luck with however you choose to handle this. My sensible suggestion would be to phone and thank her for the cheque and say you’ve bought xxxx for one child and xxxx for the other child and that they are/will be delighted with their presents. See what she says and take it from there.

Life isn't gifts and fairness. Life just is.

Unless, of course, you're the little 5 year old girl who doesn't understand why her little brother gets given birthday or Christmas presents from her relatives and she doesn't.
And Caligrandma if this is happening in your household, you need to address it because the child that gets forgotten about has, I promise you, noticed and they will never forget. Or forgive.

I agree....children don’t forget. The parents at least need to find out if it was accidental or intentional, but from how the OP describes her over the last 30 years, I’m inclined to think it’s the latter.

Families !!!!! In some ways I am glad I don't have anyone ...my daughter not having spoken to me for 14 years and have never even met my grandson who is now I think, 4 or 5 .....quite the opposite to your mean m-i-l I actually went to my solicitor and bank to set up an ISA or savings for him ....only to be told this is not possible as I a) need his date of birth, and b) the mother's consent ....both of which I would not have ! Would love to take him, say, to Disneyland, and all those other children's places like to see Santa in Lapland (none of which are possible, of course, with travel bans at the moment ........the only thing I can do is to put his name in my Will, but to make sure I mention 'any other grandchildren existing at the date of my death' or to be held in Trust if he is not 18 by then (he won't be as I doubt I would still be around that long !) My solicitor told me my estranged daughter could contest it ......all I can say is she can try ! SO...enjoy the fact that you love the little girl and make it up to her in other ways ...no need to say Grandma/Great grandma, whatever, has left you out ! Have to laugh years ago, my m-i-l gave very extravagant gifts to EVERYONE except me ...I got a pop pop bead necklace and showed it to all the family on Christmas day ......my then b - i - l and s-i-l said Oh, that cannot be your present ! I said YES it is ...ha ha ...I suppose it WAS at least a present ....Happy Christmas

And still the OP hasn't returned to shed further light on the situation, or to thank those who have taken the time to respond to her dilemma.

Just saying.

vampirequeen

If she's a game player then don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know it's got to you. Cash the cheque and share it between the two children. If she ever queries it say that you assumed it was both of them as you knew she would never intentionally be mean to a child.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

My late mother-in-law informed me that my four children had had all they were getting from her. (she had given each of them a lump sum when she sold her house, controlling how the two younger one's spent said money, dishing it out as and when she approved their requests. My husband had passed by this time so I had no say in the matter. I asked her to wait, and bequeath said monies in her will, but no, She informed me that she had allocated £5000 for four of her favourite charities and £1000 of that sum to my only grand-daughter at the time. The rest, quite substantial, was to go to her remaining son. I informed her that my grand-daughter was not a charity case and not to bother!!!

Angusan,It’s a good thing your step granddaughter is too young to understand. Your m.i.l. has to be told. It has to stop. How could she !!!!!!! I am literally fuming?
ALANNav.....my heart aches for you. Despite being rejected, you are still determined to be just and fair. I applaud you...

I might be missing something here. Would the gift have gone direct to the child's parents?

* vampire Queen* has in my humble opinion the answer ....cash cheque and spend on both children .

It’s difficult- I have a step (9) and 2 bios (4&2). I always give to all 3, birthdays as well, but spend more on the bios as I am aware the step has 3 sets of grandparents but the bios only have 2 sets. In fairness the bios get ‘treats’ during the year but the step is less likely to as he doesn’t live full time with bios

Flora5

* vampire Queen* has in my humble opinion the answer ....cash cheque and spend on both children .

The cheque is made out in the child’s name, so I’d presume it cannot be cashed.
As I asked before, did the granddaughter previously get gifts from this lady? If not, perhaps the cheque was a ‘birth’ gift for the baby, and why give a cheque via the granny rather than the parents?
A strange one altogether.

I was loved and "treated" by both my stepparents and their parents too. They are all gone now but there is barely a week goes by that I don't think of them with great love and fondness. I remain very close to my stepsiblings - particularly my stepsister, whom I am proud to call sister.
I am also adopted.
I know very few blood relatives, other than my own children and grandchildren, but I have had lashings of love in my life.
Having said that: the usual family squabbles over Monopoly and fighting over the last bit of Christmas pud - we're none of us perfect!
Now I have stepchildren and stepgrandchildren. What can I say? They are awesome. All the under-18s get gifts and the rest of us do a Secret Santa.
I shall miss everyone this year but am looking forward to a quiet Christmas with my DH.

The important one is your little 5 yr old granddaughter, why don't you purchase a little gift from your MiL . The child won't know, and no one is hurt.

is this whole thread another game of skittles;
line 'em up, and see how many can be knocked down in one go.

Excuse my ignorance please tell me what is a bio granny?

Sorry just figured it is biological!

At one time my D's was living with a lady with a daughter, I was very happy to have another GC and explained that to the mum, she put me straight with the words that her daughter already had 2 grandmas and wasn't going to have another! I was hurt but also understood, perhaps the op's mil doesn't really know where she stands, or perhaps thinks the the child's grandparents will be giving gifts to just their GC and she's doing the same? Talk to her, find out what her rational is,

How can anyone ignore a child In the house.

Sorry for confusion...I am biological granny to my sons baby boy and step granny to the little 5 year old girl, my sons step daughter, so the kids are brother and sister

Can you talk to your son about this.
Really, you should not be left with the problem.

Good luck

Janeainsworth...I have literally sat down after a long day at work ...only getting a chance to read posts now...just saying

My mother refused to accept 'step' grandchildren in the family - saying that they already had real grandparents of their own - incredibly mean. She only gave presents to blood relatives.

We just ignored it and made sure they got the same, by adjusting things ourselves. Any cards etc. with names missing went straight in the bin.

My eldest grandson (a blood relative to her) was included, of course.

He has five grannies, though, as a result of the divorces/remarriages in his father's family. He's very happy with that.

So, in a way, I can understand that she might have considered it unfair, with some children getting more than others - but they're not counting!

Angusann, I would call her out on this. Presumably she's never bought your 5 year old grandchild anything for Christmas? Return the cheque and make it clear that you see no difference between these children and that's the way it will remain. If she wants to do differently, then she's not welcome to do so.

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply. My husband is angry and frustrated at the whole situation, but he is working away at minute so won’t see his mother, but he says she is looking for a reaction but she’s not getting one. ..we are going to give little shall I call her, Samantha* the same amount of money so she will know no difference. And let karma do it’s thing.
This is the first Christmas my son has actually been living with his stepdaughter, so the first time we have encountered Christmas gift giving. We were out of her life for 5 years as we couldn’t tolerate her drama and playing family off against each other, unfortunately I felt sorry for her and let her back into my kids lives, they are in no way close to her at all...so tbh it would have been more acceptable for her to give neither child a gift as it wasn’t expected. She has had the same contact equally with both my grandchildren.
But tonight my faith in humanity is resorted as my SIL dropped off a gift for baby and made a point of saying there is a little gift for Samantha because you can’t make a difference with children.
I feel much better for getting it off my chest and from many of your comments I’ve read, I can see I’m not alone with my frustrations!