Lockdown Marriage/relationshi ps...be honest, be brave.

I doubt he’d be on GN looking for love, he’s only 54! most of us are in our 70’s. ?

Spiritof67 I so wish my first marriage had ended in such a way but it didn’t and that was so sad after all we had once been good friends. So well done you and your wife for ending a sad situation amicably. Good luck.
I can’t believe people are so mean spirited on here? but then again ?

Good luck for the future to you and your wife Spiritof67 it's good you were able to sort things out so amicably. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky, at least there is one positive story to show it can be done.

I think you’ve pointed out that it can be done, yes, by you, but for everyone, like anything else in life, is unrealistic. I can see how you’ve tried to project your positivity, and that’s good, and hope it continues to work well, but you were only married a short time, no kids together, still young, no health problems. A very different ball game to how many would be.

Both of you on second marriages. 8 years so it didn’t last long. How long til the next one becomes boring and you want to move on again. You were ok until lockdown. Well everyone is bored and fed up. We don’t all just jump ship! I hope it all works out for you but the grass isnt always greener!

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It’s rose colored spectacles if it is thought that amicable separations happen very often, no problem if it’s a short term marriage, no children, no affairs, no abuse, plenty of cash.

The reality is that one or other partner is aggrieved in some way and there is not enough cash for both to carry on a similar lifestyle. Very often both are left struggling

I can understand everything you say Spirito. I/we did almost exactly the same thing when our daughter was a late teen . However we did wait 12 years before we divorced! In my opinion this enabled a lot of anger & distrust to dissolve between us. I then grasped the nettle & did the divorce papers through the court my self. Was cheaper & worked well because everything was sorted out between us after all those years. We remained in touch throughout & right up until he passed away 6 years ago. Every case is different & I understand where other contributors are coming from but from my perspective, it's interesting to know how others have put their lives in order. I got to a stage where I would rather sleep in a cardboard box in a doorway than live another minute with a selfish, self centred man. Thank you for contributing and for the insight you've given. I felt the fear and did it anyway.

Good for you and your soon to be ex wife Spiritof67. It's a shame you've received some negative and rather nasty responses to your positive posts.

My parents divorced when I was a teenager and it was really horrible; so much nastiness.

A couple of years later my aunt and uncle broke up and the difference was amazing. They were just like you are, everything amicably agreed and the entire process so much better for my cousins.

My uncle would always pop round to my aunt's house, to carry out small repairs and do jobs that she couldn't do herself to save her from the expense of paying someone else to do them for her.

It is possible to achieve an amicable break up regardless of the length of the marriage as you and they showed.

It is not as easy as our OP is saying - I am glad that he has worked out a way forward for himself and his wife, but he is clearly in privileged circumstances, having sufficient equity on the house for them both to acquire reasonable homes for each. Many are not like this, or have children.

I also think it is about expectations. He clearly had a happy relationship with his wife until he started to scrutinise it in detail and decided he wanted something better - in what way better I wonder.

I have found that one of the most important lessons in life is to accept that perfection (in any sphere of life) is not how the world works. And that pursuing this relentlessly is the road to unhappiness.

Many couples from middle age onwards rub along together nicely - not suffused with wild passion, but finding peace in their later years in shared memories and mutual support. If that is not for you OP then that is fine; but those who do regard that as satisfactory find their happiness in other ways, and encouragement to part because it can be done will not add to the sum of human happiness.

It may not be absence of bravery on their part, but simply a realistic view of life and all its imperfections. Good for them I say.

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There is absolutely no reason why anyone can't chat on here!!

Tbh, I think a lot of long term relationships end up a bit like ‘flat mates’ just bumbling along fairly amicably - not much wrong with that actually.
I think if you’re looking for passion & excitement then it’s probably best to split as you’ll never be content.
Quite honestly, at my age, I’m just happy with a cup of tea & Coronation St.

54 is not exactly young.
More than old enough to be on GN.

It's because it's a man. (Eeeeeek!!!)

Kandinsky- “ 54 is not exactly young” - you’ve really made me feel my age!! ?

Gingster

Both of you on second marriages. 8 years so it didn’t last long. How long til the next one becomes boring and you want to move on again. You were ok until lockdown. Well everyone is bored and fed up. We don’t all just jump ship! I hope it all works out for you but the grass isnt always greener!

What is the matter with everyone? Life is way way too short to stay in a relationship that doesn’t work when ending it harms nobody. Such holier than thou comments.

No that's not why. It's because it comes across as fairly patronising.

And a grandfather - I didn’t understand the point that was being made?

Like many, many of the things that are written on here..

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Sorry Nanna58 ?

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Too bloody true it does.
Carry on regardless.

54 is not young to be on GN no, but as MissAdventure said, it’s because it’s a man

< clutches pearls >