Relationships with cousins

Forgot to mention, not seen male cousins for over 50 years

My mother was one of 11 and I grew up with many cousins. Now only keep in touch with the two I was closest to in childhood. Mum was number 10 and so many cousins were much older than me and have died or we have nothing in common any more. ?

I have six cousins, and we never speak to each other except at the occasional wedding or funeral. We send cards with news at Christmas. Only one lives anywhere near me. We were quite friendly as children, but it hasn’t lasted into adulthood.

Oddly enough, one of them has just phoned me. I hadn’t spoken to her since my nephew’s wedding some years ago. I think she was just bored with lockdown and needed a chat.

After all this I must contact my cousin M who wa a big part of my teenage youth.

2 sisters married 2 brothers in our family which made the cousin gene pool smaller than normal. They were all brought up together but not massively close as older adults.

I was the youngest of the cousins on both sides of the family (I was my parents 'afterthought'!) so I knew a few of them in the UK, then several years ago when my daughter moved to Australia I got to know the cousins there, we keep in touch intermittently, and follow each others families on FB. I have some cousins in Canada and have a similar FB relationship with one of them, she visits the UK every few years and we always try to see her. I didn't know very much at all about my two cousins in the US but they were so lovely when I managed to get in touch that we went to visit them a few years ago and all got on so well, we had a great time. Sadly the oldest and his lovely wife are now in sheltered housing and finding life difficult, so I just write to them from time to time, but the other one is only a year or two older than me and we enjoy a lively e mail exchange regularly, sharing photos, recipes and family exploits, and would love to meet up again some time, COVID permitting! I also have a distant cousin in Italy who we see when he is in the UK, and a lovely sort of cousin who is very elderly but sharp as a tack and very entertaining company, we see her when we can. So really they are much like friends gathered over the years - some you want to spend more time with, some less! But a shared family history means that you can sometimes uncover fascinating stories from the past. As long as you don't expect your cousins to necessarily be your forever best buddies, there is nothing to lose in keeping up a relationship with them.

I am in touch with three cousins who I have not seen for years, we just email or write to each other and I might visit two of them at some point but we will see. When I found their addresses I did wonder whether to contact them or not but decided to write and see what happened. It was really nice when I received a reply, I don’t expect too much but we do share some old memories with each other.

It's nice that you have been in contact with your cousins - family is important. Did they ever make an effort to contact you? So often families fall out because of other family members. I have always been in touch with one cousin but never the others. I am not sure where they live or even whether they are still alive which is sad really.

Definitely nevet too late. They'll make their choices too of course. Someone always needs to make the first move. Good on ya. X