You could try saying how dare you speak to me like that in my own home! I have as much right to an opinion as you!
Or, could you write him a letter telling him how upsetting his treatment of you is and is there something he's not telling you that's behind it?
Btw, is your husband his father? Could he not have a word with him? I understand you're worried you may lose contact with the grandchildren, but you can't let yourself be treated like this, it's so disrespectful and if you allow him to continue it'll only get worse.
Is it me or am I getting mixed messages
How do you acknowledge Easter.