Is my mother a Narcissist?

Sorry to ask but l am hoping that someone may be able to help me put this in perspective.

All my life l have always felt that l was in the wrong family and l even used to think my life was someone's dream and when l went to sleep they lived their real life and one day my real family will come and take me home (honest).

Well unfortunately they are my real family but l just don't belong as l am not like them. This is my life.

My mum had her first child at 20 then her husband died and he went to live with his grandmother. Then she went on to marry someone else and have 3 more children - a girl and 2 boys then she left her husband and her children some time between June when her last son was born and Jan/Feb when she must have met my Dad as l was born the following Oct about 15 months after she had my 3rd half brother. They story l was told that she then brought her daughter and 2 sons from her 2nd marriage home when my Dad was at work - her 2nd husband had put them into care because he couldn't work and look after them (my Dad always said she had never told him about these children and l believe him because why would he lie - he wasn't like her). Then for some reason she put her youngest son up for adoption without telling anyone including my Dad and made up some story as to why he was no longer living with us (my Dad never really got an answer as to what really happened she just said he had to go away and that was that) and 3 1/2 years later she had my sister and l always thought there were 4 children because my half sister was told in no uncertain terms never to mention her youngest brother so l never knew.

My Mum and sister always had a very difficult relationship and my Mum was always nasty to her and l often so her get a slap for nothing but being a child l really didn't understand what was happening. As soon as she could she met someone and left home and then eventually moved to the other side of the world to get away from my Mum.

My Mum also turned my poor Dad into an alcoholic just so that he didn't have to be in the same house as her and over the years he walked out but always came back after a few weeks. I guess she had some hold over her and maybe he was afraid of what she you do to myself and my sister as we were his children so perhaps that was why he couldn't leave but when l was 16 he left for the last time and never came back and they got a divorce and for a few years l didn't know where he was but my half brother and sister knew where he was but refused to tell me probably so they could have some hold over me. Then 2 years later my sister got pregnant on purpose at least that is what she has always said and was sent to live with her boyfriend and his parents. We have never been close as she is very much like my Mum and is hard to get close to and loves nothing better than causing trouble just like my half brother who lived with us. For some reason my sister and half brother are very close and love nothing better than causing trouble even though they are the golden children. Half brother turned his mother and myself away from his last wedding (he too has been married a few times like her) and it was my sister who took the pleasure of coming over to the car in the registry office carpark and tell us we were not welcome which was fine with me. Half brother then sent a letter from a solicitor telling Mum to stay away from them all including my sister and she was upset but we tried our best to help her through it. Fast forward a few years and they are both back in the fold as if nothing is wrong and it was all forgotten. They have had lots of times when they have fallen out and not spoken to each other l have lost count.

Then my Dad became ill and by this time my sister had stopped all contact with him so when he asked us not to tell anyone about his illness we agreed because it was his choice. My Mum then asked my husband about my Dad and when he said my Dad didn't want anyone to to know but if my sister would like to call me if she wanted to know that would be ok. Because he wouldn't tell her there and then my Mum decided to cut us off and told everyone we wouldn't tell my sister about her Dad and after all she had a right to know. My sister never called and to be honest she couldn't care less and told me so when he died. This fall out lasted 5 years and my Mum even sold her house and moved to the north of the country near her sister who she often bad mouthed so don't know why she did this but guess it was so she could get away from us even though we had kept away from her just like she asked.

Then after 5 years she got in contact and like a fool l let her back into our lives and now it has happened again. Last year my OH took her shopping every week during lockdown and my sister did nothing. She kept saying we were Mum's bubble or covid was rife in the supermarket where she worked and any other excuse she could use. So we did everything because she was my Mum. She wasn't speaking to my half brother during this time another fall out about who knows what but my sister and him are as close as can be so she would have been keeping him upto date with what was happening but still keeping her hands clean. Then in Jan Mum was rushed into hospital with a mini stroke and only made a full recovery because of our fast thinking and getting to her quickly and calling an ambulance because my SD called us in a panic. I stayed at her house and took care of him because he had dementia and l thought it was best to keep him in his own home rather than put him in a home like my Mum said l should have done. The day we picked her up from hospital she barely spoke to us and when she got home she looked and my SD and he looked at her and they didn't say anything to each other then she started shouting that she couldn't find her phone and she finally found it in her back along with half a packet of crisps which she pulled out and started eating. We made sure they were fine and didn't need anything and left saying we would be back the next day to do any shopping she needed and if she needed anything to call. She was going to get help at home several times a day so we didn't need to stay.

I rang her the next day to check everything was ok and she just started yelling at me. She said her husband had been lonely and hadn't had anyone to talk to - l was there all day and my OH came over every evening for dinner and stayed until SD went to bed so how was he lonely. They barely speak to each other. Then said l should have put him in a home and then accused me of taking her things - no idea where that came from so l hung up. She then rang a few days later and my OH answered and she had a go at him saying he took her things and he was only married to me and was nothing to her and he stood upto her and said none of it was true. She then rang screaming again we had taken her things and she had been in contact with the police and they had told her to make a list to which l said you have to do what is right. Then l blocked her so she couldn't call us. So she got my sister to contact me and say l needed to call her and it was urgent. That was last weekend and l finally called her on Wednesday after many sleepless nights and feeling sick but l just wanted to get it over with so l called. She only wanted another go and to tell me that she had seen her solicitor and that he had told her to tell me that it would be best that we no longer contacted each other anymore and if that was ok with me that would be best. I just said fine. I then asked her what it was that we/l did and her reply was I think it would be best if we didn't talk about it anymore so l just hung up.

Today l had to drop some paperwork off to her that she had asked us to look after (funeral plans) so l again asked her what we had done and first she said l had stopped contacting her and tried to say it was my fault and when l stood up and said No you were the one who rang me slagging me off for taking her things and making out l stole things she changed her story and said my OH had tried to take over and when l said he took you shopping every week she said I didn't want him to which is a lie so l said All you had to do was say you didn't need him to take you to which she said I did in the - another lie because she never said anything and he stopped taking her because she no longer needed to shield and could go on her own as lockdown had ended. I just walked away and forgot to hand her the papers so my OH took them and she tried to tell him that he had no right to tell me that she had been calling and slagging me off - so in fact she used my words to attack him and try and say that he was responsible for telling me stories about her.

I will not been contacting her again and need to regain my life. I know it is going to be hard because l have always tried to do the right thing and never cause her any trouble and this is the way she treats me and she has making me ill. I am so stressed l have had to take time of work but now l have to try and get on with my life without her.

Thanks for listening and l am sorry for the long post.