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That s.x word

(127 Posts)
Issipy Wed 31-Mar-21 08:37:59

I'm a 76 year old Gma, widowed for 32 years. I had a 20 year long, mainly sexless, relationship that ended 3 years ago. I don't miss the cooking, cleaning, worrying that this relationship caused, but I found I was definitely missing the occasional sex. I definitely don't want another old man to look after, so yesterday I bought myself a little 'friend's. Oh my goodness, why didn't I do this before? I always thought these little gadgets were for sad people, well if that's true I am happy to be so sad! Has anyone done this? You're the only people who know, so mum's the word. I think my daughter would have a fit if she knew.

Alexa Mon 05-Apr-21 11:09:52

Gagajo wrote:

"(Alexa had written:

One reason sex is rarely discussed on gransnet is that 'how to have orgasms ' does not concern older people so very much. Many partner relationships are companionate not sexual.)

(Gagajo)I'll remember to tell my bloke that. I wouldn't mind it, but I am pretty sure he wouldn't approve. "

Monogamy has this problem that men like penetration sex and are often uneducated in other ways and means.

Blossoming Mon 05-Apr-21 11:40:31

I think most people my age already know how to have orgasms grin

Sago Mon 05-Apr-21 11:41:46

I posted early on the thread TMI.
This has been interpreted as prudish.
I would like to stress I am not a prude, far from it.
I feel that an open forum should be treated like a face to face conversation.
I would not tell a man or woman I didn’t know that I had purchased a vibrator so why would I announce it on a public forum?

Millie22 Mon 05-Apr-21 11:55:46

Surely yet another cut and paste from a magazine as the op seems to have disappeared.

Blossoming Mon 05-Apr-21 12:27:08

She has posted before about different subjects Millie22

Millie22 Mon 05-Apr-21 12:44:07

Ok sorry just seemed a little strange.

FannyCornforth Mon 05-Apr-21 12:59:19

It certainly is Millie!

I'm in agreement with Sago

If thinking it poor form to announce apropos of nothing, and to all and sundry, that one has recently discovered the joys of onanism , then I'm definitely a prude.

nanna8 Mon 05-Apr-21 13:17:13

Can’t beat a good man though, can you ?

FannyCornforth Mon 05-Apr-21 13:28:21

You minx nanna8 ?

Jaxjacky Mon 05-Apr-21 14:19:50

If the subject of vibrators occurred in a conversation, I’d be quite happy to discuss it, same as I would other household goods, part of life. Others have hairdryers, I don’t, so each to their own.

Callistemon Mon 05-Apr-21 14:52:37

I expected the usual crowd to pile on saying they’d rather have a nice cup of tea.

I do like a nice cup of tea, Esspee
DH usually makes the tea
And puts the bins out

?

Callistemon Mon 05-Apr-21 14:58:56

Lucca

But then why be coy with the thread title ?

Yes
like Anne with an 'e'
Sex has an 'e'

It's a perfectly normal word

Emily49 Mon 05-Apr-21 16:46:03

It’s odd, Fanny that you seem to find this subject distasteful, yet keep returning and commenting? I feel fairly neutral about the subject, but if it upset me, or I did not wish to discuss it, or read about it, I wouldn’t stay on the thread. Please don’t misinterpret that as rude - I don’t mean you shouldn’t be here, but just find it strange to persist with a thread you are clearly uncomfortable with. I hope you have a satisfying life.

GagaJo Mon 05-Apr-21 16:56:33

I'd love to see a bit more of a Mumsnet attitude on here. All this being horrified by something we all do is peculiar.

kittylester Mon 05-Apr-21 17:08:19

What exactly do 'we all do' gaga?

Kandinsky Mon 05-Apr-21 17:13:00

I think it’s women in their 70’s talking about sex that makes me cringe.
You expect younger women to talk more about it, because, generally speaking, younger people have more sex.
I’m shocked that woman in their 70’s think about sex at all tbh, let alone want to happily chat about it on the internet.

But as a previous poster said, if I don’t like the subject I can just ignore it.

Emily49 Mon 05-Apr-21 17:53:59

I think it’s women in their 70’s talking about sex that makes me cringe
I’m shocked that woman in their 70’s think about sex at all tbh, let alone want to happily chat about it on the internet

Wow

3nanny6 Mon 05-Apr-21 18:05:17

I don't bother with vibrators myself and do not want one.

I was at my daughters friends house some years back it was her birthday and a few people were there. The friend of my daughter was opening some of her presents and one mum had given her a vibrator and also another friend had given her a vibrator. Most people thought it hilarious and were having a good laugh. I thought it was tacky and distasteful
after all they were only 17 years old and surely they did not need that sort of toy to play with.

FannyCornforth Mon 05-Apr-21 20:00:22

Emily49

It’s odd, Fanny that you seem to find this subject distasteful, yet keep returning and commenting? I feel fairly neutral about the subject, but if it upset me, or I did not wish to discuss it, or read about it, I wouldn’t stay on the thread. Please don’t misinterpret that as rude - I don’t mean you shouldn’t be here, but just find it strange to persist with a thread you are clearly uncomfortable with. I hope you have a satisfying life.

Ha ha! I've posted twice on this thread. You say:
'I don't want to be rude'
and then
'I hope you have a satisfying life'

What an odd thing to say

You obviously haven't got a clue about my life, but seem very interested in me

Himdowntheroad Thu 17-Jun-21 06:57:48

Emily49

I’ve often thought how odd it is that sex is rarely mentioned on this site. People might want / need to share their worries / queries / discoveries with others without the slightly Bictorian attitude of ‘too much information’. People write about physical and mental health problems and (hopefully) get support here. Why should sex be taboo in this day and age?

I agree. Maybe there should be a separate sex board so those of us who wish to discuss sexual matters could do so

Heidihi Fri 18-Jun-21 15:37:48

I cannot believe the negativity I am reading in some of these replies. The most natural thing in the world is sex. I joined this site for a kind of sister hood , somewhere to talk safely , gain information , share information and also have some fun. Our lives have been isolated enough without having to worry about being judged on what I saw as a perfectly polite post which must have taken some guts to write. Who else would we share these things with? You go girl and ignore the haters and the prudes. I for one applaud you and I am very pleased you are enjoying yourself.

Melanie61 Fri 18-Jun-21 16:14:31

Heidihi I’m with you. It’s ridiculous that women of our generation can’t openly discuss sexual matters

Rufus2 Fri 18-Jun-21 16:33:18

probably have a discreet draw full anyway ?

Fascinating thread! hmm
IF you have more than one and give them names can you be said to be promiscuous!? wink

Puzzled Fri 18-Jun-21 16:35:35

Sharing experiences can be a benefit.
Someone may tell you how to prevent your victoria sponge from collapsing, which petrol gets the best from your car, how to get stains off a tablecloth, or to avoid getting a sore back lifting things.

So what is so wrong about giving advice on how to enjoy yourself?
And as for being shocked, no one on here provides name and address, or meets face to face, so you are unlikely to look at someone as you queue in the check out, and think. "Doesn't look the type to do that"
And as for being sexually active in old age, if that's what they want, if it gives pleasure, it is very probably good for them.
We all get older each day, so good luck to the OP!
Is there a date / age when going to the gym, or jogging is forbidden?
We don't all like dry wine, but we don't castigate those who do..
Live and let live.
Remember the adage about walking a mile in the other's shoes.

Sunnysideup Fri 18-Jun-21 17:11:44

Issipy, I’m so glad you have found out how wonderful your ‘toy’ is. I am 71 but with a very young outlook. I was introduced to a vibrator many years ago and have used it off and on ever since. Now on my 2nd marriage with a younger man, unfortunately, he doesn’t want a sex life anymore but I do. Therefore, I find it a very useful thing to have. Apart from the obvious pleasure, it helps to keep everything healthy in that region and I believe is recommended by the medical profession for just that reason. If nothing else, it stops everything from closing up, and having worked in a gynaecology department, I know I’m not joking!