Gransnet forums

Relationships

That s.x word

(127 Posts)
Issipy Wed 31-Mar-21 08:37:59

I'm a 76 year old Gma, widowed for 32 years. I had a 20 year long, mainly sexless, relationship that ended 3 years ago. I don't miss the cooking, cleaning, worrying that this relationship caused, but I found I was definitely missing the occasional sex. I definitely don't want another old man to look after, so yesterday I bought myself a little 'friend's. Oh my goodness, why didn't I do this before? I always thought these little gadgets were for sad people, well if that's true I am happy to be so sad! Has anyone done this? You're the only people who know, so mum's the word. I think my daughter would have a fit if she knew.

janeainsworth Fri 02-Apr-21 10:20:40

I’ve often thought how odd it is that sex is rarely mentioned on this site. People might want / need to share their worries / queries / discoveries with others without the slightly Bictorian attitude of ‘too much information’

Perhaps they don’t share personal information because they know that the Daily Mail & similar publications are ready to pounce and make a story of it. Despite pseudonyms, people can sometimes be identified.
Remember the famous penis-dunking thread on Mumsnet which went viral?
Would you want to be that poster? grin
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

AmberSpyglass Fri 02-Apr-21 10:59:16

This is all making me think of the Netflix show Grace and Frankie, which very much celebrates the idea that older women still have sexual desire and want to orgasm, even if it is a little more difficult. I certainly don’t intend to give it up!

Polarbear2 Fri 02-Apr-21 11:13:58

janeainsworth. Thanks for sharing that link. I’ve never seen it before. Gave me a good laugh ??

lemsip Fri 02-Apr-21 11:16:44

maybe the deleted messages show why sex is rarely mentioned on gransnet. always low and smutty people waiting in the wings

Galaxy Fri 02-Apr-21 11:19:39

I would say that the experience of MN is a fairly useful warning, and that those raising concerns are not prides or victorians or what ever lovely words are thrown about, but those who have been around the block (on the internet) quite a few times.

Galaxy Fri 02-Apr-21 11:20:26

Prudes even grin

Polarbear2 Fri 02-Apr-21 11:21:08

Amazing isn’t it. We can happily chat about assisted dying but sex? Ooh no. Consensual sex is such a happy thing. Sex toys are good fun and bring a spark to people’s lives. I agree the Grace and Frankie series is great in that it celebrates desire in older women.

BBbevan Fri 02-Apr-21 13:35:32

My friend assures me that in an emergency an electric toothbrush works well. ??

Rufus2 Fri 02-Apr-21 15:07:25

prescription of Viagra dated a few days before he died
It was probably used to prevent him from rolling out of bed in the middle of the night! hmm.

Katie59 Fri 02-Apr-21 15:31:44

Alexa

One reason sex is rarely discussed on gransnet is that 'how to have orgasms ' does not concern older people so very much. Many partner relationships are companionate not sexual.

Most of the younger generation think sex ends around 40, if only they knew. Just because we don’t talk about it (most of us) does not mean we’re dead.

GagaJo Fri 02-Apr-21 15:34:51

Alexa

One reason sex is rarely discussed on gransnet is that 'how to have orgasms ' does not concern older people so very much. Many partner relationships are companionate not sexual.

I'll remember to tell my bloke that. I wouldn't mind it, but I am pretty sure he wouldn't approve.

Lucca Fri 02-Apr-21 18:03:39

Polarbear2

Lucca

I wouldn’t dare buy one.... imagine if it arrived from Amazon buzzing away or indiscreetly labelled I live in a Flat with communal area postboxes !!

Erm... it doesn’t buzz until you put batteries in. ?. And they are always discreetly packaged.

I know really, but some joker might have put batteries in ?

BlueBelle Fri 02-Apr-21 18:07:52

My friend assures me that in an emergency an electric toothbrush works well
BBbevan just make sure you don’t clean your teeth next morning ?

JaneJudge Fri 02-Apr-21 18:13:27

Older women enjoy orgasms shock on Gransnet! smile

TrendyNannie6 Fri 02-Apr-21 18:17:26

Good on you Issyippy but it did make me laugh the title of the post, and to the posters who dare not buy one, why not! And why on earth worry who finds one when you are gone anyway, they probably have a discreet draw full anyway ?

FannyCornforth Fri 02-Apr-21 18:24:34

What ever happened to OP?
Click bait per chance?
Personally I don't like to talk about or read about masturbation on the internet.
Or indeed any where else.

Kandinsky Fri 02-Apr-21 18:32:37

Agree FC.
I can’t believe the amount of over sharing on this thread. The op could be a 25 year old man laughing his head at their replies for all they know.
Telling the whole of GN about your wanking sessions is totally bizarre. I mean it’s not like this forum is massive and no one really knows you.
Still.....takes all sorts as they say.

nexus63 Fri 02-Apr-21 18:40:34

i have had one for years, i was widowed at 39 and did not want another partner, i have a partner/companion that i see at the weekend, we have been together for 17 years, we have never had an intimate life and he knows i use one, i said to him in the poundshop one day, i need to get batteries....in a loud voice he asked what i needed them for.
the person who thought a lady of 76 using one made them feel sick....i feel sorry for her and her very sad view of other people, it might not be for you and thats fine.

BBbevan Fri 02-Apr-21 18:54:09

BB ????

Woodmouse Fri 02-Apr-21 18:59:55

I've had them in the past but don't have one at present. The Classics forum would be a better place to put this post as it's misplaced in Relationships smile.
To the OP. Good for you!

Ashcombe Fri 02-Apr-21 20:40:03

FannyCornforth

What ever happened to OP?
Click bait per chance?
Personally I don't like to talk about or read about masturbation on the internet.
Or indeed any where else.

A search reveals posts by the OP going back to 2020 so that would suggest it is a genuine one.

www.gransnet.com/info/search?q=Issipy

Emily49 Fri 02-Apr-21 20:49:45

FannyCornforth

What ever happened to OP?
Click bait per chance?
Personally I don't like to talk about or read about masturbation on the internet.
Or indeed any where else.

But perhaps others do? Perhaps it’s reassuring to someone in their 60s, 70s, etc, to know that others still have sexual feelings and ways of satisfying them. The language you are using seems to suggest it’s all a bit dirty / not nice / not to be talked about. Shame.

Ohmother Sat 03-Apr-21 01:35:04

I’m not ashamed of being a woman with needs. My ‘lipstick’ one has seen me through many a sleepless night. They don’t have to be massive things; just something that makes you tingle in the right places.

Puzzled Sun 04-Apr-21 17:40:53

We are all different, so what one needs may not be that for someone else.
As a friend used to say "If you haven't tried it, don't knock it"
So it doesn't appeal to you? It may to others, and they may benefit from exchanging information and advice.
Talking to S i L was a great help to us.
If battery power provides a solution to a need, and helps, whether on on your own or with a partner, that is good for those concerned.
In a different context, it is no worse than preferring to wearing a colour of hat or clothes that is different from your neighbour, or eating a different food.
We shouldn't condemn someone for enjoying music that is different from our choice.

Some may be Total Abstainers, while others like an occasional drink. Each to their own, as long as it harms no one else.
If it helps and pleases the OP and anyone else, so be it. It will probably be good for their physical and mental health.

Puzzled Sun 04-Apr-21 17:47:22

Oh, and when saying Victorian, be careful
Victoria and Albert had a second lock on their bedroom door in Osborne House, that could only be operated from inside.
They did have a lot of children, and Victoria wrote in her diary that Albert had put her stockings on for her. Given what she was reputed to wear, it wouldn't have left much to Albert's imagination.
So prudery probably did not start with royalty