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Everyone 'too busy' or is ti me?

(65 Posts)
MollyAA12 Sat 17-Apr-21 18:18:58

Is it me? I am getting so tired of people saying 'I am so busy' and not finding time just to phone you. Everyone seems to be 'chasing their tail' and rushing around doing things.
I know people who, when things are normal, say that they will look in their diaries to see if they can see you.

One friend (who I no longer contact) volunteers at a cathedral and will say 'Oh I can see you for 3/4 hour in the Cathedral cafe' Alternatively she will see you and then stand up and say 'Oh I must go, off to the Book Club etc.'

I have now reached the stage where I do not really phone many people because I am tired of the refrain 'I am so busy'
I never outstay my welcome metaphorically but a lot of people like to give the impression that they are in deamand and ever so busy.

I aksed one lady if she was enjoying her retirement. 'Yes' she said 'I am VERY busy',

Does anyone enjoy a leisurely time any more?

JulieMM Thu 29-Apr-21 17:01:54

Thinking about ‘busy’ - I’m only busy because everything these days takes twice as long! That said, I would never say I’m too busy - how rude! I will also drop everything for people I love and care about.

geekesse Thu 29-Apr-21 18:09:11

I have a (more than) full time job. I also have to do extra work from home. My kids and grandchildren all live some considerable distance away. I have to do shopping, washing, cleaning etc. If someone asks for some of my time, I often don’t have any to give, and I certainly don’t sit down when I have a few minutes to myself and think ‘gosh, I’d better ring so-and-so, she may be lonely’.

I don’t see that it is anybody’s business why I am not free to meet/ visit/ chat. Why should I have to explain myself? What difference does it make if I say ‘I’m sorry, I have 20 third form homeworks to mark before I go to bed, and I need to put a load of washing in the machine, and I haven’t had anything to eat today yet, so I can’t talk right now’. I just say ‘sorry, I’m busy’.

I have very limited sympathy with those who have a lot of free time moaning ‘poor me’ instead of finding something to do, or complaining that I don’t account for every minute I’m not pandering to them.

Jaxjacky Thu 29-Apr-21 18:53:10

I’d rather chat to a friend and delay washing/housework/gardening for an hour or so, my friends are precious.

nexus63 Thu 29-Apr-21 19:23:11

before the lockdown my mum hardly ever called me ....suited me...now she calls all the time because she is bored, i will be glad when she gets back to normal, book club, painting class, knitting bee, rug making and card & craft alongside lunches and days out, she loves her life and i love mine, no friends just a couple of neighbours, i read endless books see my son and family every few weeks and watch old videos, i love my life and i am happy to spend days and days without seeing anyone.

Shelagh6 Thu 29-Apr-21 22:29:00

I am quite old (though I am very sound of mind!) - most of my old friends are dead and my daughters and son still work and they are in late 50s and early 60s so they are busy! I’m not!
I’ll give up anything if I am offered the opportunity to! I moved about 5 years ago and so I still live fairly near my children but have not met anyone here my age and Covid hasn’t been much help over the last year. I still drive but I can’t find an entrée into anything locally. I’ve done my fair share of volunteering and gave up being a film extra because of lack of transport to get to central London by 7am. Has anybody any ideas because I’m free?

CanadianGran Thu 29-Apr-21 23:11:30

I always make time for friends! I will gladly drop chores if someone calls or pops by (hopefully that will happen again!)

If I have a grandchild about the house, I will warn the friend and let them decide if they still want to visit (again pre-covid).

The only thing I have an issue with is time-zone differences for phone calls. My sisters live 3 hours ahead, so sometimes I will get a call right at dinnertime, or I will want to chat and realize it is their bed-time. But I will always try to make it work.

Doodledog Thu 29-Apr-21 23:23:55

Shelagh6 Would online courses be something that would interest you? There are a lot of such courses available on Zoom, and they cover a wide range of subjects. You don't meet people face to face, but you do meet people on screen, and can stay in touch after the course finishes, knowing in advance that you have an interest in common.

Check out WEA for starters? They usually run local courses in places like church halls and community centres, but have gone online because of Covid. When things open up again they will go back to meetings, but my guess is that they will continue over Zoom too, as their mission is to reach as many people as possible, and Zoom has opened that possibility.

CityLit is more expensive, but offers good courses too, and you could check out Eventbrite (a ticket provider) to see what else is available in your area. The Centre For Lifelong Learning, based at York University is now online, too, and they offer a range of courses at very reasonable rates.

There are others out there, but I only really know about the ones in the subject that interests me. If you search for 'online courses in XXX' you will find plenty in other areas of interest too.

Doodledog Thu 29-Apr-21 23:25:55

Forgot to say - when I say 'courses', I don't just mean ones that culminate in exams grin. A lot are more about like-minded people getting together to have a structured discussion of their area of interest.

MollyAA12 Fri 30-Apr-21 06:25:27

What is life if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare!!

Witzend Fri 30-Apr-21 06:55:28

There’s a big difference IMO between people who are busy because they’re still working, and/or helping with childcare, with maybe elderly-parent care thrown in - and the sort of people who just like being busy-busy-busy and like to imply that they’re morally superior. ‘Oh, I never sit down all day!’ etc.
Let alone curl up on the sofa with a book, like lazy baggages like me.😀

Shelagh6 Fri 30-Apr-21 11:22:16

Thank you DoodleDog - I hate doing things on Zoom except seeing family! But, of course, when everything gets under way again, I shall make more effort but this last year could lead to nothing - but thank you very much.

Shelagh6 Fri 30-Apr-21 11:45:38

Just had a good think Doodledog and remembered the University of the Third Age in Spelthorne - around Staines, Shepperton, Ashford etc. So when things start to happen again, I will join that. Thank you for the motivation.

cornishpatsy Fri 30-Apr-21 12:07:00

I do tell a relative that I am too busy thinking it is kinder than saying I do not like her nor want to spend time with her.

However, she has not taken the hint and continues to phone and leave messages.

PinkCosmos Fri 30-Apr-21 12:42:01

geekesse

I have a (more than) full time job. I also have to do extra work from home. My kids and grandchildren all live some considerable distance away. I have to do shopping, washing, cleaning etc. If someone asks for some of my time, I often don’t have any to give, and I certainly don’t sit down when I have a few minutes to myself and think ‘gosh, I’d better ring so-and-so, she may be lonely’.

I don’t see that it is anybody’s business why I am not free to meet/ visit/ chat. Why should I have to explain myself? What difference does it make if I say ‘I’m sorry, I have 20 third form homeworks to mark before I go to bed, and I need to put a load of washing in the machine, and I haven’t had anything to eat today yet, so I can’t talk right now’. I just say ‘sorry, I’m busy’.

I have very limited sympathy with those who have a lot of free time moaning ‘poor me’ instead of finding something to do, or complaining that I don’t account for every minute I’m not pandering to them.

I know what you mean. I work full time and also have extra work. What I find most frustrating is people who are retired with time on their hands assuming that you are in the same position.