I’ve posted on Gransnet before about several issues in my marriage that I’ve found very challenging.
To sum up: my husband (80) and I (72) have been together for 11 years now - married for seven.
After I moved into the house he had built for us, he made it very difficult for my family to come and stay. He was difficult, rude and had very rigid views about child rearing. So, the family eventually refused to come. We also have a house in France. Perfect set up - two apartments, each with separate kitchen and bathroom facilities. The same thing happened there. He alienated the whole family - and they’re all decent, funny, hardworking people who are great parents. I tried, with great difficulty, to tolerate that situation. I have to admit that I frequently lost my patience and my temper.
On top of this, he has interest which frequently involve use of the Internet. He is also addicted to social media. He sets no boundaries on this - hours are devoted to it, and I frequently found myself talking to the top of his head.
Last - but certainly not least - I came back downstairs one night unexpectedly and stood behind him, watching as he looked at the profiles of women on dating websites. He had registered on these sites. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. The final straw came in the following three weeks, when he made no attempt to reassure me, console me or reach out to me. So I left and am renting a flat nearby - he refused to leave the house.
Since then, he has agreed to marital counselling and we’ve had two sessions which were constructive and worthwhile.
Yesterday, I discovered that he’s flying back to France on Friday. He still wants to take part in the counselling via Zoom.
Long story short - I have very strong suspicions that he’s contacted a woman online, has been having regular internet chats with her, and plans to meet her in France. She lives quite close to our house.
Why am I so devastated by this? I feel devalued, humiliated and terribly hurt. I’m finding it difficult to cope and simply can’t understand how someone can be so unscrupulous. It’s as if a tap has been turned off - he shows no empathy or care at all for me.
