How to leave husband

Yes good advice Babs758, sort out money and plan the move. Then just go, good luck

Good advice there from Babs758 I made more than one attempt to leave as well SusieFlo in the end I rented a furnished house and left without anything.
As BlueBelle said the peace on locking your own front door behind you is worth all the hassle of leaving. Good luck.

Is there more money in one account ie his than yours? I think an hour spent with a solicitor would be a good move. When I did this I paid £100 for an hour's time and it was money well spent as I got a summary of the meeting in writing and good advice. You may need to find out what his assets are.. Also bear in mind that if you or he have a company pension this would be taken into account of any future settlement. Good luck!

I left an unbearable mental abuser of a husband and returned from the Republic of Ireland to the UK.

First thing I did was to take legal advice and my friend stored my prized possessions for me to collect later. What helped was that at the time we were moving from a large house to a much smaller one so some family furniture went back to the UK.

Sorted out the money I was owed from our joint account had a meeting with the bank manager who knew how things were. Arranged a banker’s draft for when the time came.

Decided what I wanted to take and what I could fit into my small car. As it happened this man was a drinker and late to bed.

About a week before the move I took money from the bank account and sent it to the UK. As soon as I knew the money was in my account in the UK, I was ready.

Early in the morning, I packed my car, went to my friends to pick up the rest of my stuff and drove across the border to Northern Ireland. Got on a ferry to Scotland.

Went to stay with my friend until accommodation could be sorted. It wasn’t a lot of money but enough to keep me going until I could find work.

It was the best thing I could have done for my mental health and well-being. This was at the third attempt as I had been persuaded to return on two occasions with empty promises.

Take your courage in both hands, check your legal position, make any arrangements that are needed and then go.

Certainly get legal advice.
Not knowing what your financial situation is, check if you can get any benefits to support you if only for a short time.
There must be a reason that you stayed last year. Has anything changed ? Has the situation improved in any way, or have you just plodded on the same way you have done for years?
Is your husband prepared to seek counselling at all - if only to perhaps help him to see that there really is no point in you being together and at least see why you are feeling what you are feeling?
If you haven't or don't want to do anything else, Maybe finding alternative accommodation , packing and leaving may be the best thing for you to do.

No further advice but wanted to say 'go for it' and I am sending my best wishes x

Get legal advice first. Then get a plan with the support of your children. A good lawyer should give you the right advice. I would also gather as much info as you can regarding your finances. Knowledge is power.

Go for it SusieFlo.
I did after 32 years of marriage and have never looked back.
I rented a property and i was off like a rocket.
My sons said i should have done it years ago.
I wish you all the luck in the world.

You can ask Women’s Aid for help if he has been abusive or controlling. www.womensaid.org.uk/

In the meantime, make sure you have your paperwork (passport, bank details, important phone numbers etc) all sorted out and ready to take with you at any moment.

Good luck.

I didn’t leave my abusive ex husband I was determined he was not getting the house and the home I made for our children. I had him arrested so many times he eventually went on his own accord. But before he went I did seek legal advice from my solicitor.

I can only advise you to see either a solicitor or law society you get some initial advice free. I got legal aid but that was in 1993 things may have changed since then.

You could look for somewhere to live as soon as possible and decide what you need to take with you. Rather than face confrontation leave when he is not there and preferably get some help. I wish you well and hope it works out for you.

I left with nothing and it was wonderful it took me a long time it’s a huge move but I ll never forget the peace I felt that first night I locked my own front door of very inadequate rented rooms
Good luck

Be certain to consult with a lawyer to have everything ready. There is nothing worse than being unhappy except being unhappy for a year and a day.

Talk to a lawyer first and know your rights

you thought about this a year ago, you still feel the same?

no financial or legal ties?

just go, do you have a friend to confide in? to support your transition, it is scary to go it alone after all that time..