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Over 60’s how many still have sex

(90 Posts)
Clio51 Wed 08-Sep-21 10:37:32

I’m 63 he 66
For the last say 3 years we’ve not had sex
I’ve mentioned it to him and he just kept saying “what’s all this about sex all off a sudden “ the last time we did he lost his erection. I think this has had an impact
I’d mess about doing sexy things but nothing.
I’m not really that bothered mostly, but some kind off closeness would be nice sometime.
It did after a long time mention he wasn’t getting hard, so I said go to the gp which he did.
He got viagra, he’s got boxes upstairs. He’s only ever mentioned once taking one, and then I don’t know if he would off !

Relationship isn’t good at the moment, lots of little things that’s building up with me about him

I think he feels if he’s not bothered about sex for whatever reason, I shouldn’t be.

Coolgran65 Wed 08-Sep-21 20:42:19

A medical condition such as diabetes can cause erection issues. We didn’t have to have a conversation. We just continued being intimate and adjusting how we reached satisfaction. PIV isn’t necessary.

nadateturbe Wed 08-Sep-21 21:26:43

GagaJo

My bloke, 70s, is still interested. Unfortunately for him, I'm not.

So comforting to know I'm not alone. Not interested and also physically exhausting.

Ethelwashere1 Wed 08-Sep-21 21:43:58

I would rather go to bed with my book.

nadateturbe Wed 08-Sep-21 22:39:28

Actually, maybe physical health affects how interested one is.

GillT57 Wed 08-Sep-21 22:46:40

Bluebellwould

The original post seems quite crude and odd to me. Is this a scam? Doesn’t sound like something an older person would write. Sincere apologies if genuine.

Older person???? When does one become an older person, prudish and unwilling to discuss sex?

Sweetpeasue Wed 08-Sep-21 22:54:18

When indeed.GillT57

Lucca Thu 09-Sep-21 06:10:42

I’m an older person for sure.I’m anything but prudish but as it happens I don’t like to discuss my own sex life but if others do that’s fine.

FannyCornforth Thu 09-Sep-21 07:55:25

Lucca

I’m an older person for sure.I’m anything but prudish but as it happens I don’t like to discuss my own sex life but if others do that’s fine.

I’ve never really wanted discuss it, except with very close friends.
It just seems weird.

Urmstongran Thu 09-Sep-21 08:01:46

Ditto.

Sweetpeasue Thu 09-Sep-21 08:32:45

Perhaps you found it easier to discuss it o this forum rather than face to face with someone Clio51. I believe GrandtanteJE65 offers excellent advice.

timetogo2016 Thu 09-Sep-21 14:29:48

I think you are very brave Clio51 to post such a personal thread.
Show your dh the replies,it may give him food for thought
Hope things look up for you,in more ways than one.

GillT57 Thu 09-Sep-21 15:33:19

I too am very private about personal issues, but was just a bit curious about the 'older person' comment. I have always been prudish, it is not something which came upon me with age grin

Allsorts Thu 09-Sep-21 15:38:50

I can’t see how anyone outside you and your partner can help. It is him you should be talking too.

FarNorth Thu 09-Sep-21 15:48:46

It sounds as if you don't have a good relationship and you are generally unhappy about that
Sex is only one part of it.

You don't have to announce that you want a chat, surely?
Just start saying what you want to say - "I feel as if we're more housemates than partners, these days." for instance, or whatever you want to say.

Focusing on sex, or its absence, doesn't have to be the main point.

DiscoDancer1975 Thu 09-Sep-21 16:30:37

I remember Boy George saying in the eighties, that he would rather have a cup of tea!! He could only have been about 20!

Sweetpeasue Thu 09-Sep-21 16:52:19

Interesting GT57. When I posted my 'Indeed' after your post I meant it in a lighthearted way but I too have always been considered prudish by my 2 sisters and even my mum!
I wouldn't seriously discuss my sex life with any of my friends.

Deedaa Thu 09-Sep-21 17:00:18

Our sex life ground to a halt when DH developed cancer at 60. 10 years of on and off chemotherapy meant he lost all interest. I was a bit disappointed because I'd always imagined us bouncing around in bed together well into our 70. However my oldest friend was in the same situation when her husband became seriously ill and our other close friend had been a widow for years so we came to accept that that's how life is.

Blossoming Thu 09-Sep-21 17:07:14

^Blossoming
We use usernames! Nobody knows us, that that was the whole idea you can discuss what you what ?
Why did you read my thread then? We’re all different what you wouldn’t do doesn’t mean I won’t^

Well that told me! I read most threads, and if I have an opinion I give it. And my opinion is l wouldn’t discuss it on a public forum. I shall remember not to comment on anything you post in future, but I can’t promise not to read things.

Lucca Thu 09-Sep-21 17:37:56

Blossoming . I agree we can read whatever we want ! And comment for that matter

nadateturbe Thu 09-Sep-21 20:55:15

I wonder why talking about our sexual life is so taboo. It's an area that can affect a relationship/ marriage so much if there are problems.
I remember saying to my best friend there was something I wanted to ask her about being an older couple ( can't remember what the question was). But the look of shocked horror on her face was unbelievable as she thought I was going to ask her something personal. I wouldn't ever do that! And we've been best friends for over sixty years!

GagaJo Thu 09-Sep-21 20:58:26

Is it an age thing? I talk about it with my friends. I don't see it as any different to any other aspect of life.

nadateturbe Thu 09-Sep-21 21:37:57

Possibly an age thing. Although I remember my mum gossiping to her friend about a fastidious neighbour putting a towel on the bed beforehand. (I hadn't a clue what she meant at the time)
I don't see it as any different either.

anna7 Thu 09-Sep-21 22:31:43

I would not talk about my sex life in anything other than a very general way with my friends. I don't think it's an age thing. It's a private thing. I would not expect my husband to discuss our sex life with his friends either.

dragonfly46 Thu 09-Sep-21 22:36:51

I wouldn’t discuss my sex life with my friends in the same way that I would not discuss my finances. It is not a case of being prudish.

Lucca Thu 09-Sep-21 22:39:09

nadateturbe

I wonder why talking about our sexual life is so taboo. It's an area that can affect a relationship/ marriage so much if there are problems.
I remember saying to my best friend there was something I wanted to ask her about being an older couple ( can't remember what the question was). But the look of shocked horror on her face was unbelievable as she thought I was going to ask her something personal. I wouldn't ever do that! And we've been best friends for over sixty years!

Who said it was taboo ? I just don’t choose to but it’s up to others what they talk about.