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Over 60’s how many still have sex

(90 Posts)
Clio51 Wed 08-Sep-21 10:37:32

I’m 63 he 66
For the last say 3 years we’ve not had sex
I’ve mentioned it to him and he just kept saying “what’s all this about sex all off a sudden “ the last time we did he lost his erection. I think this has had an impact
I’d mess about doing sexy things but nothing.
I’m not really that bothered mostly, but some kind off closeness would be nice sometime.
It did after a long time mention he wasn’t getting hard, so I said go to the gp which he did.
He got viagra, he’s got boxes upstairs. He’s only ever mentioned once taking one, and then I don’t know if he would off !

Relationship isn’t good at the moment, lots of little things that’s building up with me about him

I think he feels if he’s not bothered about sex for whatever reason, I shouldn’t be.

Sweetpeasue Fri 10-Sep-21 22:25:12

GagaJo, Snap. ?

nadateturbe Fri 10-Sep-21 22:25:36

Gagajo ?

Grandma26 Fri 10-Sep-21 22:55:26

I am nearly 63 and DH has 10 years on me. We had issues in that department for a number of years, too. When things didn't function, it also took a toll on him and then he became his own worse enemy (trying too hard, thinking too much, feeling a disappointment to me, etc.). During my annual doctor appointment when she asked the personal questions I told her there was nothing in that department. She said that most men need a little help in that area and encouraged me to encourage him to talk to his doctor. If you remind your man how great he was back in the day and nicely speak of it again, you two will sort it all out. Weight issues, bad backs, etc. can sometimes make finishing difficult, but the help from a good back massager can help both of you separately (but together) get over the cliff. You can even keep your panties on if you want. You both get the intimacy and it makes for a happier household. Wishing you the best!

Ohmother Sat 11-Sep-21 09:25:59

I’m over 60 and still have sex with my 70+ year old OH… my head. He’s not interested in intimacy any more. We’ve discussed it over the years so no further options. ☹️ Except perhaps an affair with someone who will make me feel good about my sexiness again ?

MissChateline Sat 11-Sep-21 20:34:30

Ohmother. Recommend the affair wholeheartedly. I rediscovered what it was like to be happy again and to have hope for the future. I gained a huge understanding of my own self worth an after years of being pushed away I learned just how important it is to feel loved and valued.

Ohmother Sun 12-Sep-21 20:02:55

“MissChateline”. Go sister ??

StarTurtle Fri 17-Sep-21 22:27:18

Our relationship hit troubles once he couldn’t perform as it were. I’m not sure we will pull through it. Arguments. Separate rooms. Indifference.

Harriet4 Sun 19-Sep-21 21:49:41

I’m in my early 60’s and my husband is 67. I had a hysterectomy and oopherectomy 9yrs ago for very heavy periods and since then sex has been impossible. The surgeon told me to get rid of my ovaries too as they were no longer of any use to me and may cause cancer so I agreed. They were probably packing up but now I produce no eostrogen and despite trying HRT patches, nearly every cream on the market, penetrative sex is impossibly painful so I have reluctantly given up now.
We both are very sad and disappointed. I have spoken to my GP and she has been very sympathetic but nothing prescribed has ever helped nor has anything I have bought over the counter either.
I guess I’m just too old and post menopausal! I speak to my friends and some still have an active sex life and some don’t at all. I feel very upset about it all and never imagined when I was younger that I would have to give up sex in my 60s. It has made me very upset at times. My husband is very supportive and understanding but he still would like to have sex and I feel I’ve let him down.
I continue to use oestrogen cream 3 times a week to stay comfortable but it doesn’t help make sex possible.
Some of my friends in their late 50s and early 60s use an hrt cream and say it has been wonderful and put things back to normal. I’m not sure why it hasn’t helped me. My GP won’t give me HRT tablets or patches now as she says it’s not safe in the over 60s so I’ve had it!
I really feel let down as there doesn’t seem to be any help out there for women of my age. We are just written off as too old after the menopause.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Sweetpeasue Sun 19-Sep-21 22:29:30

Have just read your post and feel really upset for you. A Hysterectomy has been suggested to me for my own medical issues (actually caused by the medical profession themselves--but that's another story). I just wanted to ask you if you've tried estrogen pessaries because I don't think the creams are as good, at least not for me. Thought it worth asking because I do know how that lack of intimacy can feel in a loving relationship, especially when the woman feels as if it is somehow their fault or feels that their own femininity is threatened. You may have already tried this route so sorry if I'm no help. Sincere best wishes.

Katie59 Mon 20-Sep-21 09:40:56

After 10 yrs of no intimacy at all ending in divorce, a new man brought everything back to life, I’d forgotten just how good it felt to be “wanted”, long may it last.

Sweetpeasue Mon 20-Sep-21 12:38:28

Wonderful Katie59 Heartening to see some happy stories.

hollysteers Mon 20-Sep-21 12:56:24

Take a lover ?
“Wash that young man down and bring him to my tent”

Ohmother Mon 20-Sep-21 13:27:35

Harriet4. Look on the thread about Oral Sex. It may help.

OmaLoocie Fri 31-Dec-21 16:03:25

Feeling both disappointed and baffled here at some of the responses to the original post. My main reason for joining this site was the hope that I could ask other people my age (I'm 60) advice/thoughts about things I am unable to discuss with my friends - lack of sex in my marriage being one of them! Apart from the fact that I don't have close friends who are my age and in a relationship with an older husband with health problems, all my friends know my husband and I don't feel it's right for them to be looking at him knowing what's going on. At the same time, I have had quite a few conversations with my husband over the last 5 years but unfortunately the situation has continued to go downhill.
But back to the original reason for me commenting on this thread - why, if someone is uncomfortable about talking about sex - at any age - do they then comment in a negative way on a discussion thread that clearly has 'sex' in the title? It isn't helpful to the OP and it also makes new folk such as myself wonder whether being on here is a good idea. ?
I really feel for Clio51 and not only can I understand why she started this thread but I also think she was brave in doing so, given some of the responses she received.