Advice on being content in my 70s

You’re right to carefully consider the type of dog that would best suit you travelsafar. I have no experience of staffies but have read they’re not all as black as they’re painted and the real problems stem from bad owners who just want a tough looking breed. If you are interested in a rescue dog your local rescue centre will give you good advice as to which dog is right for you and with some who need ongoing medication they sometimes pay for that so it’s worth asking. We have always had rescue German Shepherds and have never encountered any issues. Some are already well trained to walk nicely on the lead, others aren’t and need some training, but your rescue centre would, I promise, be delighted to hear from you and advise you..

How about a house cat ? Lots of cats in the rescue centres, not same as dog but having a pet does give you purpose and you chat away to them more than you’d think!

I'm 73 and must admit to being reclusive but I read a lot and over the past couple of years have written short stories. I published my first short story on Amazon this month having fallen in love with my characters - the family hosting their annual New Year's Eve party. I hope you find your niche.

travelsafar Staffies are excellent family dogs and companions; they have had a terrible press because of the morons who have tried to make them 'attack dogs' - which you could probably do with any poor creature if you treated it badly. A year or so ago they topped the poll as the favourite family dog, so they have clearly been rehabilitated in the eyes of the public. I had a Staffie as a small child - a dear companion. You may be able to get an older dog who will be not quite so bouncy, and they can be trained to walk properly - dogs just want to please you. Good luck with your search - you will never have a better friend than a dog.

An older rescue pet may help.

Apart from all the good advice, hobbies, voluntary work, Gardening, getting a cat or dog - you need to find your ikigai pronounced ichigai [japanese term loosely translated as being a reason for living], if you think that might be voluntary work - check out if there are any homeless shelters, or childrens' homes etc they will bite your hand off. You also need treats and things to look forward to, think back to when you were a child and how much you looked forward to Halloween, Christmas and holidays etc..the only difference being that when you are older you mainly need to book or arrange things for yourself - We are from generations who felt guilty about putting ourselves first but you have to get past that. If you don't have a lot of money then book accordingly but you should have things to look forward to and remember most of the time no one else is going to arrange it for you or if they do it won't necessarily be exactly what you want, plus you won't have to hang around waiting for something to happen. Book a trip away somewhere different.
A good book can take you into a different world and can be downloaded for free or 99p on kindle.
Don't let the dark thoughts hang around like a black cloud, let them rain for a while if you must or need to sort through something and then let them pass.. [examine your thoughts, rage, write down your feelings and then let them go. Everyone gets them sometime or other, practice letting bad energy go and it will become second nature after a while. Don't dwell -especially on the news as it would drive a saint mad at the moment and if you're by yourself you won't have anyone to vent to or about it. Remember we only live one day at a time so worrying about the future is pointless especially as when the time comes you will be living through it on a day to day basis anyway. One day at a time. Join a bookclub or theatre group - even just to help with sewing the costumes if you don't fancy getting up on stage. Ask at your local schools if they want anyone to help out with cookery classes etc etc... you need to get out and do something. Have a good cry [your tears carry away toxins and negativity] and you will feel tired but refreshed and renewed.

All the best - sending good thoughts your way.

My ikigai is dogs and grandchildren - not in that order....
plus gardening, cooking, reading, crochet, sewing and painting.. plus.dreaming about the trips I will take when I get a bit of money......I really want to visit the Alcazhar in Spain, plus would love to see the Northern lights and maybe Florence one day...like I said we all need things to look forward to.

I paint as much as I can. I’ve painted pictures from my childhood- inside and outside the house, street scenes, bonfire night, pictures of my school and college etc. It’s very absorbing and cathartic. You don’t have to be a professional artist. Just go for it.

Hello JPB123. I'm 73 and retired 13 years, I do sympathise with you and hope some of the suggestions have been helpful. I don't know how mobile you are or if you have a car or local transport links. I find getting out of the house is essential, especially after the Covid lockdowns forced us to stay at home. Like many others when at home I love reading. I volunteer at the local charity shop one morning a week and that is an excellent source of cheap books, and I've made a lot of new friends, I also use the library. As well as this I volunteer at the local theatre, checking tickets and selling icecreams, my reward is watching the show for free!! Suffering from arthritis I also have to keep moving so do two exercise classes a week with other creaky ladies!

That sounds a good plan grandtanteJE65 and the sort of routine I should get myself into.

Another in support of getting a dog. You may find that some of the refuges have middleaged/elderly dogs or have lost their because their owners have died or gone into a home. Any such dog would live a comfortable home with a loving owner.

You are amazing. Well Done xxx

Well done. You will inspire so many people to try something new without the embarrassment of spending money they cannot afford. xxx

Wonderful. I love who you are. xxx

I don't think I can give you advice. I was taught to do things that you enjoyed and were constructive. I have 2 small rescued West Highland Terriers. They are great company.they also need to be walked at least once every day. ( I walk mine 3 times) as I don't have an enclosed garden. I cook and freeze meals as I don't like having to cook every day. I bake and share it with my elderly neighbours. I knit , usually for charity.and if I need to sit down I read or watch TV and knit. I find it's relaxing to be reasonably organised and tidy. I'm also very pleased to supply tea and scones for anyone who visits. Generally it's great to do what you like.

Kimi64

Maywalk that was such an interesting post .I'd love to read the book .What a wonderful son you have too ! I am also blessed with two caring children ,it reminded me of something they would do . Definitely hats off to you ?

Many thanks Kim.

Do you have a doggy companion? If you're not keen on having one permanently, how about getting in touch with your nearest Dogstrust and see if you can foster long-term, or short-term for those dogs needing somewhere whilst their owners are in hospital. Other than that, you need a hobby of some kind. I have lived alone for 37 years (or rather 35 as the last two years I was my mom's full time carer) but I'm back home now. If you knit how about knitting caps and mittens for premature babies at your local hospital. I'm sure you'll find something.

Bless you x I’m only 63 and still working and still married and we had children later in life so our youngest is 19 and still lives ay home along with his 21 and 24 year old sisters and one of their partners 23. How I long for solitude ! How odd how we yearn for that which we don’t have.

Seriously I have no advice just wishing you luck in the future

Coconut - I am so impressed by your positive attitude to your second son moving to Jersey. It would have been easy for you to bemoan the fact that he is going and instead you say you are looking forward to visiting him. You are quite right, too. I've lived in the Channel Islands and they are beautiful. You will have a great time. Best of luck.

This is such a lovely thread full of lots of good ideas.
You’re neither unique nor alone, JPB123.
I note you’re in good health. I swim, chat to all and as a result have been invited to aerobics, Tai Chi and aqua classes which I’ve done.
I go out with two groups - those who knit and natter and those who enjoy am-drams so I’m with like-minded people. The former is easy to find on FB.
Genealogy keeps me interested and often links me to distant family members. I highly recommend it.
I also like the challenge of a cryptic crossword. Involved by a colleague years ago I complete ‘The Guardian’ (though other newspapers are available). Answers and their explanations given by a friendly group on the day of publication can be found with a search on Google.
Listening to Radio 4, to local stations and to audio books if I’m not inclined to read form part of my day.
Dogs are exceptionally loyal and loving, get you out and lead to social contact.
Any of the activities mentioned in previous posts will lead to your goal. Good luck. I hope you find contentment.

I am 74 and go to yoga class about 4 times a week, started when I retired 10 years ago, just joined the local council leisure, it’s just £50 or the year, it is a life line to me, mixing with all ages people, have made friends thro it, now go for coffee after class a couple of times a week, keeps me fit and getting a chat with the people there.
I also joined a ladies walking group, we walk every week, is also very good, walk and talk.
Went to all this on my own, but always found people friendly, as lot of people are doing the same thing to get out and meet people

I too am dreading the winter especially the short days and long nights. So after reading about a local dog walking group on Gransnet I decided to advertise my services locally. I met a lovely family who have trusted me with their key and I bring a poodle dog back to my house and take it for walks twice a week.

I already feel fitter and more positive.

I now have a focus and have met new people and have some responsibility beside myself.

Perhaps the OP could try this as there seems a lot of demand from young working couples.

Interesting reading. One thing to add - have you tried an on line course. I did an Interior Design course and thoroughly enjoyed. No pressure do at own pace but great satisfaction when you see your abilities marked. Currently doing an Antique# and Collectables again might be useful as we amble Antique fairs or charity shops.

Define content please, do you mean doing things that society/others deem suitable or acceptable for a lady in her 70's . Just keep trying different things and enjoying what you do for itself, e.g. if you want to skydive do it, read a book, do it. ENJOY your life.

I've struggled with anxiety and low moods, plus lack of concentration and frequent insomnia since the start of the pandemic - but that seems to me to be no surprise - it has been savage on those of us who live alone - but I have a cat who helps, and I knit, sew, write, draw and make jam etc with foraged fruit - the key for me getting through has been going out every single day and walking, and sitting in the park, getting in touch with nature - even if it's cold or wet I still go out, with a flask of coffee and a snack. It is harder in winter of course, but when I'm home I listen to drama on the radio or talking books, I make myself do a task every day over and above ordinary cleaning and tidying , sorting out a cupboard or taking things to the charity shop. Also staying in close touch with friends and or family on WhatsApp just touching base most days really helps. I also make sure to do nice things like paint my nails or cream my feet!

I would like to thank everyone for their great ideas and advice,empathy and support.I do not feel as alone now. What a wonderful bunch of friends we are!
Some of the suggestions I have done already…I researched my family tree,which was fascinating. I have taken up crown green bowling, that’s great fun, and I have applied to be a helper at the local Red Cross charity shop.My dbs check has been done so I can go back into my local primary school to help there (COVID permitting!) .I am a retired teacher and went into school to help before lockdown. I will keep reading your messages ,refer to them ,and take your advice when I can.Thank you all…Oh,my daughter has a new puppy ,so I can walk him during the day. I am ticking off the list of activities and keeping up with reading and phoning friends and family who are some distance away.