Daughter and family staying for a week. I am at exhaustion level after 7 days.

Well at the very least they are being thoughtless and selfish whilst staying at your house. And frankly rather rude guests just getting up and leaving the table!!

I think you have two approaches to this:

1. Just say: "I am just too tired to shop today. Please can you do it! I will look after GD whilst you go" followed up by "I am too tired to cook today.....etc etc"!! Show them how to use the washing machine and ask them to do it. Leaving the table and saying you are going for a sit down!

2. Alternatively you ask to speak to them specifically , sit them down and tell them straight:

"It is really lovely having you here and seeing you all. However I am finding it exhausting doing everything involved in looking after you all and I need some help. We will have to share out some of the jobs...shopping, cooking, clearing up etc. I love playing with GD and would love to do that whilst you are doing ...."

If they query this or there is an atmosphere then you need to have further discussions but hopefully the penny will drop!

Good luck

Oh dear.
The place for nappy changing is either in the bathroom or their bedroom, NOT on the living room floor.
When they have finished their meal, ask them to please clear the table for you, as your hands are full.
When their friends are due, tell them they will have to go food shopping as you are out of food that they need.p, tell them that in exchange you will have an hour with your GC.
Tell them they will need to do their own washing as you are too busy doing everything else for them.
I despair, their child is only 1, if they visit you regularly you will be wiped out.
As for not strapping the child into the seat, you do it and say “oops you forgot to strap her in”
If they insist on acting like guests then you must lay down the rules of the house.
Why are you afraid to tell them all of this?

These relatives of yours seems to be inefficient. I rather like to think of you training them as others have suggested. If the worst come to the worst you could escape of the bathroom or your bedroom and lock yourself in.

I'm sorry if this offends, M0ira, but more fool you for putting up with this lazy and rude behaviour. If they are not able to see how selfish they are being, then it's about time it was pointed out to them. They are not staying in a hotel and are treating you and your husband with total disrespect.

Can I ask what’s wrong with saying
Could you just give me a hand with ( whatever)
Can you just do the ( whatever)
Would you mind doing the ( whatever)

To be honest you sound a bit of a doormat. If my DS and DDiL tried changing nappies in the living room, I would tell them to change nappies upstairs and to dispose of nappies straight into a bin provided.

Why on earth do you wait on them hand and foot? I suspect you have always waited on them hand and foot so they just expect you to do it. just tell them you are not as young as you were and find having both of them plus baby around the house tiring, as much as you love them, so you really need help, nappy changing upstairs, help with shopping cooking, clearing up after meals, especially if you do not have a dishwasher.

Your SiL needs to be told that you are not a holiday destination but a family member so he should not expect to be waited on as if you were a bed & breakfast.

This is exactly why I don’t have houseguests, nor do I stay over in other people’s homes. It is my idea of hell!

They have another 4 weeks of visiting other relatives and their friends. Good luck with that.

Haha!

This poor child is going to be very confused after another 4 weeks of strange people and strange houses.

I think you should thank your lucky stars that your stint is over! But next time, put some house rules in place before they come.

I agree with MOnica why are you doing this MOira time to lay down some house rules for the next visit or make it a much shorter one. Your house is not an hotel with staff it's your home and should be treated with respect as should you.

Are they doing a royal progress like Elizabeth I? I think her hosts were glad to see the back of her and her entourage too. I suppose you’re feeding them and their visitors out of your own pocket too?

I, maybe, just expect them to help out. Just the same way I would if I was staying at anyone’s house. It’s called common decency. Our daughter was brought up to be respectful of others. Which is why I’m finding it hard to respond to her and her husbands behaviour.

I get that Moira. But clearly they aren't going to and as your daughter is now 40 years old she has clearly developed her own pwrpecribe on staying with her parents! So you need to have the conversations as I said above or as MerrylStreep says ..just ask! Be specific about what you need, no hinting, it won't work.

Not surprised MOira. They seem to have got the idea that they’re on holiday in a hotel. Laundry facilities included. No charge for anything? You have to disabuse them of this idea. I can’t imagine other people they stay with put up with this.

rod.
own.
back.

Sheep are meant to be sheared.
Grow some wool lady.

When my daughter and family stay I find it exhausting but it's not because they are getting waited on hand and foot. It's because my joints are sore and I can't move as quick as I did in the past. To be honest they always offer a helping hand and muck in and tidy up.
As for the rudeness from your house guests I wouldn't put up with it they would be put firmly in their place.
When preparing food I would suggest your family help you offering a peeler to one of them. Suggest the other set the table or prepare trays with cutlery.
Prepare next time they plan a visit by informing them they will help as its too much for you now. If they don't like what you say they may change their minds about the visit.

I'd go with option no. 2 of Madgran's M0ira and TBH would have done so by the end of day 2 and if things hadn't improved by the end of day 3, the conversation would have been much more to the point.

My daughter has, over the years, developed a very argumentative nature when she talks to me. Sometimes I just retreat for my own sanity. Passive, aggressive is the term. My husband is also, a anything for a quiet life and doesn’t want to upset them. Perhaps next time they come we will lay down a few ground rules because, our grand daughter will be a 2 year old then. Heaven help us.

I'm sorry to say this, Moira, but they sound like a very selfish pair, with little regard for you. Surely they must see how exhausted you are? Without meaning to sound harsh, you are enabling them. This should be a joyful time, not something which stresses you and make you feel resentful.

Next time M0ira let them know that while they are welcome to visit you are not fit to be hosting so they can come but need to look after themselves for the sake of your health.
You need to spell out what will be required, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry and step back.
My mother was like you when my brother visited. Danced attendance then was ill for the next week. When I explained how much it took out of her he took it on board and was much more considerate. They probably just need telling.

I think "lively" goes with the territory of a one year old, but not strapping her in her high chair obviously isn't good.
I agree with all the above, but next time could you go and stay at theirs?

Are you afraid that if you say anything, they might not visit so often. Then you might not then get to see your granddaughter?

Also why 4 weeks of continual visiting? Are they here on a visit from abroad?

Sashabel

I'm sorry if this offends, M0ira, but more fool you for putting up with this lazy and rude behaviour. If they are not able to see how selfish they are being, then it's about time it was pointed out to them. They are not staying in a hotel and are treating you and your husband with total disrespect.

My feeling exactly the parents are not young parents by any means and should know how to behave I bet they don't get invited back anywhere soon,mean while enjoy your DGC as much as you can.

Are they visiting from abroad? Five weeks of visiting family ?