Going No Contact and Inheritance

It’s entirely your mother’s decision who she leaves anything to. Respect her decision. Whether someone should expect to inherit is irrelevant.

As an EAC, I truly do not expect anything.

You should just support your mother in whatever is meaningful to her. It’s her decision to make.

I’m sure your Mother loves and misses her other daughter.

Your post is truly sad and it makes me sad knowing that family members, those that you are supposed to care the most for, can act in this way. Ultimately it’s your mothers decision what her will looks like, you will eat yourself up inside by not respecting that. Hope this works out for you all.

I absolutely agree it's her decision who she leaves money to.

I am genuinely interested to hear whether people who go No Contact with their parents when they're young adults actually realise that they are potentially cutting tthemselves and their children off from future inheritances.

Not everyone will be as forgiving as my mother.

I'm not sure I could bring myself to leave money to someone who refuses to have anything to do with me.

As an EAC, I do not want nor expect anything. If my mother were to decide to leave me something, I would immediately pass it through to my kids. If it helps them with a down payment on a house, then that is a positive thing she has done finally.

I know what you mean. On her conscience be it. There is nothing you can do about it unless she is willing to rethink her actions and cut your mum some slack.

Be thankful that you are nothing like your sister.

As an EAC I don't expect or want anything. I wouldn't want or expect anything if we had a wonderful relationship.

It is up to your mum who she leaves her estate to and I hope you won't resent it if your sister receives a share.

Not an estranged young adult, but I think the only reason I’d disinherit one of my children is if they had a substance abuse issue or something in which ready access to money would be bad for them. It feels quite vindictive and controlling to do it because they didn’t speak to me etc like I like. I would suspect most people who break of contact aren’t worried about getting money from their parents- otherwise they’d be in contact for money when living. But just an observation.

I do not know the age of your sister but assume there was contact for longer than there was no contact.

This is completely your mothers' decision which you have to accept, dwelling on it will change nothing but will make you angry.

As an EAC I don't expect or want anything. I wouldn't want or expect anything if we had a wonderful relationship.

It is up to your mum who she leaves her estate to and I hope you won't resent it if your sister receives a share.

Yes it's up to my mum.I
And I wouldn't present it.
I am however allowed to privately think that it's an extremely shitty thing do do -
To only get back in contact with someone when there's money involved.

Speak to a solicitor, they will be unbiased and give options.
Such a shame.

Grandpanow
I think there's a big difference between someone 'not speaking to me' and having someone cut you out of their lives for 10 Whole Years!

‘Where there’s a Will there’s a Relative!’ Comes to mind. ?

I wonder snowberryZ about the relationship with your dad. Did you both take sides? You with mum and your sister with dad? Is that the reason you are estranged from her? If so and your dad is still alive perhaps you could rebuild a relationship with her through him.
I think it is enirely your mum's decision who she leaves her money to but I'm sure she won't want to make the situation between you and your sister worse by leaving her out.

Sure. Just saying how I’d feel about it. Ultimately, everyone’s estate is their own to settle as they wish. I’ve inherited unexpectedly from an aunt estranged from her kids and had people ready to tear about the family about it, and walked away from it to avoid the drama. As a mother, I personally wouldn’t want my estate to be a source of conflict between my children (or cousins). Clearly, my aunt felt differently.

snowberry I don't think reading EAC forums or asking us will do you any good. We are all different.

You should talk it out with your sister

In the early part of my career I worked in local government and made applications to the Court of Protection to deal with the property of people in local authority care homes who didn’t have capacity to do so themselves. This included obtaining consent for the sale of property to pay for care home fees. I will never forget the relatives who didn’t want to know before the person died but suddenly came out of the woodwork demanding to know what had happened to assets which certainly didn’t exist when we became involved. Their greed over the property of people they couldn’t even be bothered to visit had to be seen to be believed.

My feeling is that a parents love should be unconditional. I therefore think if a AC estranged me I would leave all my children equal shares regardless.

Just because you feel like the situations described in EAC forums don’t apply to you doesn’t mean to get to mock them or the terms and strategies they use.

As others have said, up to your mother who she names in her will, when writing it she may recall previous years, there could have been an issue between your mother and your sister you know nothing about. Your mother may need to use her assets for care.
I think you’re fretting over nothing.

I'd be offended if I was left anything in my mother's will. It would feel like she was having the last word. Again.

It’s obviously up to your mother but I have a friend with a sister who without explanation estranged herself from her mother 30 years ago. There has been no contact in all these years even though they have on occasion attended family funerals. When friends mum was seriously ill she told her sister, still no contact.
What friends mum has done in her Will is leave her estranged daughter £1000 with a letter explaining her reasons.
I would be surprised if the sister expects to get an inheritance, why would she want anything from someone she wants nothing to do with.