Smacking children

I was hit (why do we say smack, its hitting, its violence) as a child and I knew that if i had children I would never use violence as a 'correction tool'... and i didn't, I'm 73 now and my children were praised for their behaviour, their kindness, their ability to share and empathy and of course their anti-violence standpoint... 3 of them are kind, considerate beings and they too would not hit a child. They are far from perfect but good human beings.

Children in Wales and Scotland have the same legal protection against assault as adults, and the sooner England follows the better.
Why do people think “smacking” is not an assault I wonder?

This is a very old thread.
I disagree with the premise of your post Primrose. An adult hitting a child to demonstrate it’s wrong, is exactly that - wrong. It’s an assault.

We did not smack our children ever. I was smacked very occasionally as a child. I have no recollection of how I felt about it at the time to be honest

Callistemon21

*"Ok, so you just hit someone and hurt them. That's very wrong so now I'm going to hit you"*

No. Its "that what it felt like to Susan when you hit her. You didn't like it when you got hit did you. No? So don't do it again "!!!

My late mom came from a well to do family. Smacking didn't happen. When she was pregnant with me she read the Dr Spock book and smacking was advocated then.

Dr Spock had changed his mind by the end of his day's on smacking.

I have 4. 3 born in the 80s. They got the occasional smack. My youngest born in 1996 was never smacked. Thinking was changing then.

Mine don't smack their children. I don't agree with smacking and wish I hadn't mine now. They know that. They don't hold it against me

Each generation of parents, parents differently because it's a different world

My BIL smacks his son. He says he was smacked and it never did him any harm. Well yes BIL, it taught you that it is ok to hit a small child. I disagree.

We moved back to Wales a few years ago. About a month or so afterward ,we were in a town where there are a lot of Welsh speakers. A young woman walked past us with two young girls. 3to 5 years old. She was screaming at one in Welsh and then smacked her across her legs. Then continued to shout. It was really horrid, possibly as we could not understand what she was saying. Never forgotten it.

No it’s not ok to smack. Doesn’t even work as a deterrent or punishment. Doesn’t create respect, only fear. Sadly there’s a little girl in my daughter’s class whose mum is a fan of smacking and I don’t know if mum is aware of just how horrible her daughter can be to her classmates. Of course, she might just be a horrible child!

Chestnut

kwest

Smacking is a complete lack of control on the part of the parents. It is always wrong. If you would not hit another adult with a weapon then it is a total misuse of power to do that to a child. No excuses. It is wrong.

It is not always 'complete lack of control on the part of the parents'.
What nonsense.
I already explained back in the thread how we smacked my little daughter once because she kept putting stones in her mouth, which was obviously very dangerous. She had been repeatedly told and definitely knew it was wrong, so she got a smack and was told she would get another one if she did it again, which she never did. That was certainly not 'lack of control' on our part or 'misuse if power', it was a decision. Your comment shows a blinkered attitude.

It’s exhausting saying the same thing over and over again isn’t it?

However I have no idea where they get their sense of right or wrong from but probably fair to say they aren't in a good place to teach their children right from wrong

People develop their moral code from many different sources!!

kwest

Smacking is a complete lack of control on the part of the parents. It is always wrong. If you would not hit another adult with a weapon then it is a total misuse of power to do that to a child. No excuses. It is wrong.

It is not always 'complete lack of control on the part of the parents'.
What nonsense.
I already explained back in the thread how we smacked my little daughter once because she kept putting stones in her mouth, which was obviously very dangerous. She had been repeatedly told and definitely knew it was wrong, so she got a smack and was told she would get another one if she did it again, which she never did. That was certainly not 'lack of control' on our part or 'misuse if power', it was a decision. Your comment shows a blinkered attitude.

Smacking is a complete lack of control on the part of the parents. It is always wrong. If you would not hit another adult with a weapon then it is a total misuse of power to do that to a child. No excuses. It is wrong.

I'm so sorry that happened to you boheminan

As a small child my mother frequently punished me in two ways. Either she would tell me to stand in a room until she was ready to come in and smack me hard on the back of my legs, or she would lock me in the coal shed for what seemed like hours, after assuring me there were rats in there.

Even now I wake up with night terrors of being locked in the coalshed but don't remember the physical pain of being smacked.

I'd hope things were better in the future. I'd rather be wrong and people be happy really

VioletSky

Discodancer

Why would you love that?

Just a point of interest. In much the same way you might wonder how anything might be in the future.

Discodancer

Why would you love that?

No it’s not abuse Iam64 but still assault under Scottish Law.

The animal kingdom seem to have the edge over us, they cuff, chastise their off spring in order to keep them out of harms way…… just saying …food for thought .

VioletSky

DiscoDancer1975

I would love to be here in say another 15 ...20 years, and see if the adult children then feel they were harmed by lack of discipline. They may have issues of neglect, or just simply not being cared about enough for their parents to bother.

Who knows?

Why?

Why what? What’s the question?

It’s also simply not true that any form of discipline is labelled abuse today.
There are disagreements about the best way to set limits or correct behaviours that are unacceptable or dangerous. That’s healthy - discussion

One of the previous posters abusive childhood memories broke my heart. However I will say I smacked both my children, not hard and on the leg, on very rare occasions such as when they ran out without looking on the road, or tried to touch an element on our old stove. Neither son said it did them any emotional damage, and they were both so energetic, the get on their level and reason with them wasn’t always particularly effective. My son and dil said they probably wouldn’t smack my gc, but though that gc gave them a fright and did something like the things I mentioned above they then might.

As a humanist I find it quite insulting that I need god to tell me what is right and wrong. I believe human ethics and morality is not set in stone but evolves over time. If you need to find your rules and guidance for behaviour in the bible that’s fine for you but not for me.

HolySox

VioletSky Yes the first part of the Proverb is "Spare the rod..." that most assume means a physical implement. Elsewhere in the Bible it talks of the "rod of His mouth" when referring to the Lord disciplining the Israelites ... suggesting not necessarily a physical rod. It is great that sone parents have managed to discipline children without smacking although not sure what form of disciplne they used. As others have said it seems any form of discipline is labelled as abuse today.
The majority of people have no faith these days so understand they mock the Bible and it's teachings. However I have no idea where they get their sense of right or wrong from but probably fair to say they aren't in a good place to teach their children right from wrong. Can appreciate why they're happier to nothing than be accused of abuse.

So you think that people need faith or religion in order to understand right from wrong?

Ridiculous!