I feel so upset. We have always tried to support and help all 3 of our adult children. They all seem happily married and have good jobs. We decided some years ago that we would help them financially if we could while they were still young and needed the money, rather them wait and inherit it. Over the last 20 years we have given them a very substantial amount of money each, always equal amounts.. However recently we have felt that our two daughters have been very inconsiderate and at times very hurtful. One daughter lives abroad and was due to come home on a visit during the pandemic, she got upset over the fact that her brother couldn't come to see her exactly when she wanted, she was angry with him and then fell out with us because she said we took his side. In a temper she cancelled her trip home which really upset me esp as we had the pandemic and had little opportunity to see her (in the end it was over a year before we got to see her). She moaned to her sister who decided not to speak to us for over 2 months. She later told me that she did it to support her sister. I became so stressed that I became ill with it all. Last September the daughter who is abroad got married we paid £20000 towards it. Today we got some packages delivered, photo albums from the wedding. One large and two small, she wants us to take them over when we next visit. I assumed that one of them was for us but no they are both for her husbands parents (they are divorced) none for us. I feel really hurt. When I said Oh! she said well they asked us for an album each they paid for the photographer as a present. I feel taken for granted. When they fell out with us before I said how can you behave like this after all we have done for you, to which my daughter said you shouldn't use money as a weapon. I wasn't even thinking of the money! It was so hurtful. I really don't know how to cope with them, Im frightened of upsetting them as they may stop talking to us again. I keep thinking what have we ever done to deserve being treated like this.
