Feel a bit sad and unwanted

You have done a good job, and so have his parents if he is mature enough now to manage on his own.

Please do not drop in. Doing so will make your grandson feel you don't trust him, and make his mother feel you are undermining her authority, as she has given him permission to be on his own.

Both of them have your phone number and know they can phone you if anything crops up to worry them. They are far more likely to do so, if you accept this new development gracefully.

He is fifteen - next year I believe in the UK he can leave home permanently if he wants, so spending the Easter holiday without supervision whilst his parents are at work is a good thing.

Don't feel unwanted or sad. Your grandson is now old enough to look after himself and I am sure that he will have happy memories of the times you have spent together - that will never change. I had the same thing happen with my grandson at 15. He is now out and about with his friends and I am so happy that I had a hand in bringing him up and when I do see him now, we laugh at some of the happy memories we share. Maybe it's time for you now, time to take up a hobby or join a group. I'm a member of U3A and I learned bridge with them and now have a whole social circle of people who were eager to make friends. So again, don't feel sad, feel proud and start to find interests yourself.

Well done Skydancer for all those years of loving care. I find that the mere mention of a full roast dinner and my 19 year old grandson asks “what time do you want me to come?”?

sodapop

Quite the opposite Skydancer you should be congratulating yourself on a job well done. You have helped to bring up your grandson to be an independent young man and been a big support to your family. Now it's time to follow your own interests and hobbies.
Why don't you suggest the occasional mert up with your grandson because you will miss him not because he needs looking after. Enjoy this new phase of your life.

My thoughts exactly. You and his mum have done an excellent job.

My older son was very close to his gran (my M-I-L), but obviously as he grew up and needed less looking after, the relationship developed. She was actually the first person to know that he was going to get engaged to his girl friend! There’s still much to look forward to as he moves into young adulthood.

He knows where you are, if he needs help with anything at all I’m sure he’ll contact you!

You have done your ‘bit’ and I’m sure they were so glad to have you.
It’s your time now, garden, shop, join a club, go swimming, walking - they will need you at some point don’t worry xxx

Aww, please don't feel sad. You have all those special memories and the knowledge you have helped to make him the young man he is today. He still loves you but is growing up. Ask him if there is anything he would like to do with you.

Be proud not sad. Wonderful to have an independent grandchild and to have time to yourself now. Every age is different and interesting. Chin up.

Oh my goodness, what were you doing as a fifteen year old?!
At this point I’d be grateful for any time he allows you to have with him without resentment. I thinking Kevin and Perry years. Be more concerned now with the memories you’ve made with him, building another life again for you without him. It’s so hard getting older and having to let go all over again xxxxx

Although I didn't have quite the same supportive role you had I did fill in at half term and with one of my grandchildren a lot more that the others. Now that they are all grown up I arrange to take them out to lunch during school or college holidays and we have just as much fun and on occasion we all watch the same film, although their tastes are different to mine. I am proud of all my grandchildren but everyone grows up and we have to accept that. Hopefully he will be happy to spend at least half a day with you, if not now but maybe in the Summer Holidays.

Sky dancer….. my grandson turned 15 today…. he ( and his 10 year old sister) are usually with me for all school hols as both parents work. This Easter holiday he says “ thank Nan , but no thanks” …. he was off out with his mates! I’ve seen this coming for two years since he topped 6 foot at 13….I rang him to see if he’d got his present if money I to his Go Henry account and we had a chat! I asked him if he was behaving himself and the worst he’d done was let the cat out the front onto main road and was busy trying to ‘rescue’ him! I’ll text him later to hear latest instalment! They have to grow …. and us grans have to be pleased they can look after themselves…… if not the cat!

Don't be sad, he will still want to do some things with you. I used to look after my younger nephew for two weeks in the summer while his parents worked (not enough holidays to cover all of it) - when he was 14 I still had him but it was more to be in the house or chauffer him around, when he was 15 it was Covid so parents at home, but last year when 16 he still came out with me two days (we went to St Fagans one day and a local wetlands place another). Don't know about this summer yet but possible day(s) out again. So don't rule anything out.

Be very proud of your achievements and in a few years time your grandson will realise just how much you mean to him as a young man and that your special relationship will blossom when he can take you for coffee, lunch, go shopping or to the theatre or a nice walk together. Be patient it is there.

My Grandaughter was bought up by us from the age of 6. We did everything with her it was a lovely time. We were retired and enjoying being in her company.
Now she’s grown up (21) . When she got to the age of 15 she was going out with her friends and she is a very social person.
We quite enjoy having the later years of our retirement to ourselves.

My GC are growing up (now 11 & 14) & they are more independent BUT still want to come camping with us at the end of the summer holidays.
Its finding something to do thats different with your GS...I find food is a good thing to do

Good grief! 15 years old and you feel a guidinghand is necessary during school holidays. No wonder we have so many parents and young folk who just cannot cope with daily life. Surely your GS will have his parents to confide in and discuss situations with. If he is stressed out can't he phone his parents or you for advice. Next year GS could be working. Give him space to flourish and develop.

My Grandson is now also a nearly 6ft 15 year old. His greatest pleasure is to be asked to do something for me. He lives in the nearby small town while I live in a small village, so I sometimes ask him to get something from the shops for me and he will cycle along to deliver it. Or if I need a tall person (I'm 5ft and fear climbing ladders) he's my Man. His reward being some home baking of his favourites. He will come along to watch a certain programme on TV that we both like but his DM, DD, D Sister prefer something else and he phones me when he has a new joke, something to boast about or just for a chat. Also for advice on what to buy for his Mum for Birthdays, Mothers Day etc.

Likewise my 2 DGDs who are younger. Their great pleasure is to do something to 'help' me. Mainly ATM by bringing or sending samples of their home baking or art work or sending videos they have produced. My role in all this is no longer to look after them - it is to show them massive appreciation of their talents and the kind things they do.

It's clearly a blow for you, but all is nt lost, you just need to tap in to what would entice him to spend some of his time with you. As other posters have suggested, offer a lunch out, make him a roast/ lasagne whatever makes him happiest. Take him to the cinema, art gallery, theatre, opera, concerts if any of those appeal to him. Now he's 15 it's a case of working out what he would enjoy, not taking him along to the things you enjoy. So long as you let him be a young man and not a child, there's no reason to lose all contact with him.

My son and family live nearly 300 miles away and I haven't seen them since the week before Christmas and I don't suppose I will ever have a summer with my grandchild so I think you have done very well. I feel hard done-by in my situation!! The saying is 'you don't miss what you haven't
had' but oh boy I do!

I do understand how you feel but be grateful you have all those wonderful memories to share with him as he grows older. Many of us haven’t seen our grandchildren for 3 years became they live on the other side of the world!

Don't be sad he's growing up. You both have many wonderful memories of your time together. That will never go. My son had a wonderful relationship with my mum and that never disappeared. He did everything for her as he got into his late teens early. You will have a different relationship soon one where he will want to take care of you and do things for you.

Agree with Elizabeth & Snowberry.

Not wasted at all ,you've made lovely memories with him

Anneebe;or leave him alone a bit to make his own move towards doing anything he wants to do with his grandmothers How many 15 years old boys want to go to lunch, cinema, opera with a grandmother they ll want to be with their mates, their girlfriends or just hanging out Don’t go checking on him tell him, when mums at work if you need anything you can ring me on xxxx and then let him be Too much pressure will just push him away and make him feel a baby

Aah don’t feel sad you have looked after him all this time and helped shape him into the young man he is now.