Gransnet forums


Children identifying as non binary can lead to tricky situations

(128 Posts)
didigram Wed 18-May-22 17:53:33

My youngest daughter is getting married this summer and has asked all her sisters, sisters in law and nieces and nephews to be in her wedding party. All is fine EXCEPT that one niece who is 13 years old seems to be identifying as non binary and is, according to her mother, too uncomfortable and anxious to wear a bridesmaids dress. The bride wants all the girls to be in bridesmaids dresses (they are very tasteful). Although I can understand both viewpoints, I ultimately feel that a child shouldn't be dictating what she wears if she wants to be part off the bridal party. Similar to if she was on a dance team or a gymnastics team, she wouldn't be able to wear her own costume if she didn't like the team costume. I also think it's good for children to learn that sometimes they need to dress up for an event. Any ideas how this problem might be solved? It would be terrible to cause any family rifts over this and quite frankly, I sometimes get a little tired of everyone having to be so woke.

Mollygo Tue 24-May-22 14:13:27

^ There is no way this can be sorted out to everyone's satisfaction.^
As is quite obvious from posts on here.

If they don’t want to wear a ‘bridesmaid’s’ dress, I gather no one is making them do so.
If they are invited, and attend they will still be part of the occasion, even if they choose to wear jeans and a T-shirt, just not a bridesmaid.
I really hope all this “who’s right” discussion is confined to GN. If it isn’t, I feel for the bride.

FarNorth Tue 24-May-22 14:18:44

So many adults, in real life as well as on GN, seem obsessed with following 'the rules' and trying to make others do so too.
It's quite depressing.

Non-binary is, of course, real as a way of saying you don't follow current sex-based stereotypes.

Non-binary is not real as a way of saying that you have no sex at all because that would be untrue.