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I am so angry with my son

(27 Posts)
Pythagorus Thu 09-Jun-22 17:57:47

I know there is nothing I can do. But I still get angry with my son. He is an adult almost 50 years old!

He married and had two children. When they were 6 and 8 his wife had an affair which ended the marriage. She was a controller and he was passive.

We pulled together as a family and helped him create a new home where his children came for their time with him. Everything worked beautifully. The children were thriving.

Then along comes a new woman who persuaded him to sell his house and buy one with her. Another controller!! She has two teenage daughters.

Over the last three years they have lived together, we see his own children being edged out.

It’s all about the new partner and her children. She is a wanted. He spends all his money trying to please her. Holidays, cars, etc.

My granddaughter has told me she does not like going there. She says she doesn’t think her dad is happy and is trying to convince himself he is. She says the new partner ignores her and her brother. She says the new partner says mean things to her when her dad is not there.

My son no longer takes his children on holiday but goes on holiday with the new partner and her girls.

My husband and I have also been sidelined. My son has changed. He is very critical of us.

My heart is breaking for my grandchildren.

I want to tell my son he is being manipulated and is letting his children down.

I think he is scared of the new partner and can’t stand up to her.

I know I should not interfere, but I am struggling to know what to do.

JosieGc Sun 19-Jun-22 07:26:29

I was in your granddaughters situation with my dad and his wife. My grandma (dad’s mum) didn’t get directly involved, but she made it bearable for me - she provided a lot of love and let me know I was worthy. She also subtly let me know she was not happy with how me and my siblings were being treated which validated my feelings. Me and our grandma were so close. Now she is gone and I will always be grateful for her support and for ‘flying our flag’ as children. Her and my mum actually found a renewed sort of relationship and respect for each other too - and I am certain that her looking out for us whilst we spent time with my father and his family is why. I would say be there for your grandchildren and don’t give his wife any excuse to reduce seeing you or them. Good luck.