Am I antisocial or just weird?

I feel the same, love having visitors especially family and I do entertain at home quite a lot. My brother and sil come and stay over nearly every weekend and I do enjoy their company but the longer my sil is here, the more she tries to take over!!! She is the Matriarch in her family and both her 96 year old dad and her five younger siblings all allow her to organise their lives and depend on her in so many ways, whereas I am very independent, so we did clash in the early days, but she has mellowed with age, as most probably have I, and she gave up trying to dominate me years ago, altho I do sometimes have to remind her “my home, my rules”!!! I do sometimes heave a little sigh when they leave, I love my peaceful solitude!

It's not selfish to want your own space; some people are more introverted and need to decompress after being with others; it can be draining to be in a crowd, nothing wrong with enjoying your own company!

I like this , it resonates with me x I miss the company of my husband but don’t want anyone else x

I love my solitude and my home. All of mine are grown and living their own lives.

We are in regular contact though. I look after 2 of my grandchildren weekly to help with childminding.

My 2nd son of my 4 has only just left home. He was the last one at 33 to go. For various reasons he was at home for much longer.

It's been odd him not being here at times however I'm loving it!

I'm not home alone willingly. My late husband passed 4 years ago unexpectedly.

Other than my late husband I could never live with anyone again either.

This is my home, my sanctuary and where I can just be.

Yes you're totally weird ...just like me!! ?

SallyHa

I like this , it resonates with me x I miss the company of my husband but don’t want anyone else x

Yes thank you for posting that. I'm the same here being widowed 4 years ago

I've had more company than I'm comfortable with, in the past 18 months. DD, adult GD, 2 dogs and a houseful of their furniture lived with me for 6 months while their new house was renovated (many delays to supplies and labour due to Covid)
They hadn't long moved out when the travel restrictions were lifted, and I was off to Australia to visit all the family. It was a joy to finally meet my 2 year old GS, and spend time with everyone. However my 3 months are almost up. Though it will be a wrench to leave them all it will be so good to get back to my peaceful house, and back to pleasing myself again.
I've lived alone since my DH died 6 years ago, and enjoy my own company. I like to socialise, on my own terms, but it's bliss to be able to close the door and do exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it. I could never share on a permanent basis again, and never feel lonely.

Maybe people who don't or haven't ever lived on their own don't get it. But I have lived on my own for 20 years [since early 50's] and I love it. I'd had relationships all my life so it did take a period of adjustment I admit. Wouldn't have it any other way now.

Visitors are welcome [not for too long] but not to stay overnight. I'm happy in my own company, lots of interests and don't ever want to live with anyone ever again.

Home is my haven, my sanctuary where I can be who I am. No one to comment or give opinions. I live to my own timetable and agenda. I only enjoy socialising with family and one friend now and find that's enough. Always been an introvert though, need a lot of peace and quiet and long periods on my own.

MadeInYorkshire

For various reasons after I sold my house where I had lived for 10 years alone, but mainly for health reasons needed to be closer to my daughter, when I got to my new house, they all moved in! Then I had to have my eldest back from uni as due to her illness she had to give it up. So there's now 6 of us here, and it's chaos!!

Going to release equity in order to make it right for all concerned so fingers crossed I can get enough to do it all!

Why did you buy a house big enough for all to move in when it’s just you? Surely with health issues downsizing would have been a good idea. Wouldn’t it have been best to buy small and keep the equity you had in the bank? Now you have the hassle and expense of equity release.

henetha

Yes, I've done coach holidays alone and love them. But strangely, I've made friends on the coach each time!

I'm the same Henetha. I make friends wherever I go. I think it's because others like people who are happy in themselves and not pushy/demanding. I never go looking for friendship, but it always seems to find me.

I don't live alone, but wish I did. I've loved it when I have. I didn't get lonely, and if I do, I go out somewhere where there are people around. That was enough for me. Hopefully, my DD will move out this year and then I can live alone again.

I moved to a little terraced house in central Brighton and have lots of social activities available if I wish,but I just love getting home and being able to relax. I can't ever imagine wanting to live with anyone again, my home really is MY special place..

I'm pleased that so many of us feel the same.I go out and about,and do volunteering,but I wouldn't want to live with anyone,and I'm happy enough going out by myself.I think I feel that I can't be with the person I want to be with,my late husband,so I would rather be by myself.

I don’t live alone, but I do enjoy having the house to myself when DH goes away to visit his daughter.
At home we both do our own thing, but eat together and spend most evenings together, though without a lot of conversation.
I enjoy mixing with others, but escape as soon as I can. At that point, I think I am anti- social, but there comes a point where I just want to get home.

I live alone and would love to share my home with a real friend, or even with a relation who is congenial to me.
I am happy in my own company and love to be solitary but I lack a close friend type of relationship.
This is not the only online community I visit. I even more frequently visit two other special interest groups online. I I had a close friend type of relationship, as in times gone by,I don't think I'd do any online socialising.

I couldn’t permanently live with anyone else after losing my husband just before covid struck. I have family stop for a couple of nights occasionally but most of the time I am on my own.
I meet friends, do the school run etc but I still return to an empty house. I find evenings are the worst. No I don’t like being on my own one bit.

I don't think it's selfish in the accepted sense of the word. I was widowed fourteen years ago and I'm certain I will never enter into a similar married relationship again. I enjoy not feeling obliged to consult anyone else about any decisions. Sometimes it's onerous, of course. Owning a house is a huge responsibility, for example.

I know some people on here will be recently bereaved and feeling very sad. I don't mean to offend. but many people rush into another relationship after divorce or bereavement. They think, perhaps, that they can't cope alone.

Karmalady, my husband died in 2005 up until then I had never lived alone. I have made a life for myself and love my independence. I am 81 now and in good health. I hope to continue this way for a long time.

Bobbydog, I was the same "empty house" syndrome when I first had to live alone, except for the dogs, bless them! However my problem was not being bored with my own company, nor wishing for any old human presence. No, my problem was I needed a special relationship to feel justified for living.

After a short space of time I learned I did not need home-sharing to justify my existence and was happier. Also I endorse that having my little place to myself is a positive benefit.

You are not weird - and clearly from these replies you are far from alone in your choice. Because you choose to do something diffferent to some other people, it doesn't make you strange, weird or anything of the sort - you are simply making a different choice. Good for you!

Many thanks for this thread. I have always preferred lots of solo time but now in my sixties, I don't much like socialising at all (except with close family members) and have been feeling guilty about it. I make sure that I go to a couple of U3A classes to preserve my mental health (!) Most of the people are pleasant but I am glad to get home. I also need a lot of time on my own immediately after socialising with others, even family. I quite like brief interactions with shop assistants etc, probably because nothing's required of me. I live with my husband and we do our own thing a lot but it's been a difficult marriage. I dream of living alone in a little house in a small town with my dog, it would be bliss!

I don’t think it’s weird at all. It’s a preference and it’s also an ability that is not in everyone’s wheelhouse. I’m an only child and have always treasured my own space, however, I was married right out of my parents’ home at age 20 and commuted to uni before that so never lived away. DH and I were married for 50 yrs before he passed but just prior to that DS moved in after his divorce. I now live with him, his ex and DGS; I have my own small space and privacy and I know going forward it may not be a bad thing to not be alone. I imagine that if circumstances were different I could have contentedly lived alone after DH died but I’m in my 70s and realizing that I’m just never going to get an opportunity to do that! I think the ability to adapt is the most important thing because we don’t always get what we think we want!

i am happy living with my husband but i am not keen on visitors - even relatives. I could never live with somebody else . Whilst I admire those people that have taken in refugees , I could never do it. I prefer my own space and I don't even like going shopping with others

Having lived alone very happily from age 19-51 I find living with my husband quite wearing at times

Durga. I will be 83 next month, and am also ??in good health. Chatting to my 5 y.o. GD today she asked me about my brother, who died at the age of 22.
The conversation turned to death, in general. She solemnly told me that she was only young, and wouldn't die for years and years. "But you are old, Grandma," she said. You will die in a few weeks or months!"
I'd better make the most of what brief time I have left! ?

Totally agree, I love my own company, never get bored, in fact when I do socialise, after a few hours thats when I get bored.