Asking girls if they have a boyfriend

I believe it was Wilfred Pickles who always asked contestants in Have a Go ‘Are you courting’?

in our twenties, on hearing that a friend of mine had her own flat, a bossy woman declared,
oh, you must do a lot of baking.
puzzled friend replied, no i don't do any baking.
bossy retorted, what's the point of having a flat and not doing baking!

This has brought back memories to me…. I was born in another country have lived in UK for forty plus year’s. I got divorced & periodically would take female friends to my birth place.
On many occasions I was asked if I was gay as I only ever bring female friends to visit …….do my children approve?!

welbeck

in our twenties, on hearing that a friend of mine had her own flat, a bossy woman declared,
oh, you must do a lot of baking.
puzzled friend replied, no i don't do any baking.
bossy retorted, what's the point of having a flat and not doing baking!

Had she confused having a flat with having a food mixer?

Wow taylor!

That takes the cake

You have brought back memories. "Did he kiss you?" was the first question after my very first date, from my mum.

I wouldn't ask a young person if they had a partner - but I might speculate.

The same with other personal questions.

My DMiL is losing her filters. I took her out to lunch last week and looking across the room to another table, she said, in quite a loud voice. "Is that the woman I hate?"

Ooh I know what you mean.
When I was widowed several friends repeatedly asked me if I had found a new man. Most were genuinely concerned for my happiness and others were just curious.
I did not want their advice to find a partner at the local U3A or to try online dating either!

My DMiL is losing her filters. I took her out to lunch last week and looking across the room to another table, she said, in quite a loud voice. "Is that the woman I hate?"

It's a matter of time for my mum.

Mad Auntie X has been like that since she was young. At the funeral mentioned above, my mum was there with her partner (my father was long dead) and Auntie X boomed across the room 'Oh, Horatio! You must be Ermentrude's lover, is that right?' My poor mum was speechless.

Times and interests and opportunities were different. Some of y'all can really hold a grudge.

I have two sons and two daughters. For years (well, decades, really) I was constantly asked about their girl/boyfriends by my sister and mother - when I'd be the last to know and couldn't even keep up with the changes myself! Three of them are in settled relationships, now, with children. One, the youngest, is even married. Still, the eldest has a constantly changing round of girlfriends. Now, the 'enquiries' are about whether he'll ever settle down and be a father - at his advanced age - of 43!

It’s a response I’ve never actually used, but a good one I read of years ago was, ‘If you’ll forgive me for not answering that question, I’ll forgive you for asking it.’

I should have used it many years ago when a neighbour we still have, asked me at our first meeting how much we’d paid for our house. In those days it Just Wasn’t Done - nowadays of course you can have a good old nose on NetHousePrices.😂

Grammaretto, 😂 you reminded me of dh’s old aunt, also no filter.
Also in a restaurant, at the top of her voice, ’Why does that waitress wear such a short skirt with legs like that?’
Talk about cringe!

Sounds altogether as my home island. Most of the above comments are part of daily life still.

I had reached the menopause before my Mum stopped asking, "Have you met Anybody Nice?"

(No, and still not yet BTW 😊)

DD decided when she was 4 that she did not want to be a mummy when she grew up, and around 20 when she decided she was too uncompromising to ever make a relationship work. I completely agree with her!

No member of our family or broader friendship group has ever queried or doubted her decision or thought she would change her mind.. She is now nearly 50, happily single, with her own home and a good job.

I would answer I haven't asked, that's her/his business. Usually shuts them up.

I have a beautiful 21 year old granddaughter who is doing interesting travel and exciting jobs. I don't know if she has a boyfriend although she has friends of both sexes. She'll tell me if she meets the right person but he/she will have to be very special indeed to be a match for her.

Around where we live some people will ask if he or she is seeing someone at the mo, I tell them to say yeah loads they when I look out of the window! Pigs and cows too

When my oldest child was one my we moved into a new house. A neighbour came to “welcome” us. She asked how many children we were planning to have “because Irish people always have large families.” My DH had an Irish surname. Later on we did have another child but not without some problems.

We used to get asked when we were having children all the time when I was first married at the age of 19. I used to tell them we weren’t having any. Then when we did have 4 we would never tell anyone I was pregnant until I was about 5 months gone and showing. None of their business. My grandchildren ring me up and tell me when they are about 3 weeks pregnant now. How times change.

It's implying that a person has no value unless they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Horrible. I had this a lot as a teen - I was a late starter!

I remember being asked this quite often as a young teenager in the 70’s by all kinds of people. It made me cringe & feel that maybe I was doing something wrong & that perhaps I should have a steady boyfriend. At nearly 18 I met, fell in love with & married my lovely late DH and we were married over 40years. Funny how once you are in a relationship no one ever seems to ask the question. I think they were just plain nosey or couldn’t think of anything else to ask you, it made absolutely no difference to them whether I had a boyfriend or not.
Strangely enough nearly 50 years on I have been asked the same question about my teenage GC, nothing like as often so I suppose that’s an improvement. I just reply with ‘I have no idea’ which I genuinely don’t and won’t be asking them that question.

happycatholicwife1. Are you on the right thread?!

Peaseblossom

*happycatholicwife1*. Are you on the right thread?!

I was wondering that too! Perhaps happycatholicwife1 could come back and enlighten us.

Totally agree CountryMouse22. To me its the implying and “insinuation” in the question that is so disrespectful. I used to get this all the time from a young work colleague who had attended school with my youngest son. I used to make light of it but wondered what exactly she was implying. ( And yes. I should have asked her outright ) Querying his sexuality maybe? Who cares? As long as he’s happy so are we.