Asking girls if they have a boyfriend

Jimmy Saville used to ask children this. Enough said. Pervy.

Agree totally, Saggi. My daughter always said she was too uncompromising to ever live with anyone and that she didn't want children, and like your son has lived alone quite happily since she was in her mid-20s. She will be 50 next year.

She has a good job, a nice house, plenty of friends and dotes on her niece and nephew and we see and hear from her regularily. We accept her as she is and so should everyone else.

Well it is very rude !! We have 5 children between us, all adults 3 girls, 2 boys, however our two younger daughters are gay and have been asked a number of times if they have boyfriends !!

Our community was so small they always knew. I remember pushing a new boyfriend into bushes so my mother would not see him and she came out of the house and told him he could come out as his aunt had just told her on the phone.
When I'd been going out with DH for quite a few months and keeping as I thought it all secret.
My gran announced that as they knew all about him, his father had been at school with mine, His gran had taught some of my gran's much younger sisters. So he had better come for New Year's Eve supper and "Get his feet under the table".
My own DDs took offence and answered "Before you ask he's not a German, Jew or Jap", So much prejudice that thankfully died out.'
Has anyone else heard the term "Feet under the table?"

I was often subjected to this kind of questions when I was young. It seemed that being married was more important to many than the fact I was at university training to be a doctor.
However, the biggest crass comment I ever heard was from my great aunt ( single lady ) on my sister's wedding day.
It was at the beginning of the Falklands campaign in 1982
My sister had just got married but already had a 10m old son. Iha been married the previous year and was pregnant with my first baby. There were several young men at the small reception including our husband's, brothers and cousins.
My aunt gazed round the small room at us all and said , quite deliberately, in a loud voice that if the conflict got worse there were plenty of strong young men here who could go and fight.
Aghast looks all round and floods of tears from myself and my sister!!
She never was very diplomatic!

feet under the table is a well known phrase,
but usually not in a complimentary way,
suggesting intrusion.

Mouse

I remember being asked when I was going to start a family. But an even more vivid memory is of being asked if my third pregnancy was a mistake! I already had a boy and a girl so the assumption was my family was complete.

When my younger son was about five he made a comment saying, "Of course I was a mistake."
On careful questioning it turned out his older sister had informed him, years before, that as we already had her and our older son, of course he wouldn't have been planned.

I was so upset thinking this small boy had been growing up in our family thinking he wasn't really wanted ☹️
Comments on here have me wondering if my daughter had overheard some busybody voicing their opinion...

Agree absolutely :-)

I got annoyed with my mum recently. She regularly asks if my youngest daughter has a boyfriend and whether my eldest daughter and her partner are getting married. This time though, when she asked about my youngest, and I said, as I always do, that I don't know, she said 'she's so lovely, I'm surprised she hasn't been snapped up!'. The idea that she was passively sitting on a shelf waiting for someone to choose her, I found infuriating.

In this day and age, are adults really assuming the younger people in their lives are straight?!

Any personal questions about my children or anything else that I thought was non of their business, the answer the same , I don't know, sure she/he will let me know when they want to. Failing that if they ask every time we meet, don't know none of my business. If they take offence so be it.

AmberSpyglass

In this day and age, are adults really assuming the younger people in their lives are straight?!

Not necessarily (although some will, I suppose). A lot of it will be based on previous partners, which obviously doesn’t necessarily predict the future, but it would be even more intrusive to start asking for details of sexuality as well as partner status

It's intrusive and no one else's business.

I’ve never understood the ‘small talk’ excuse. Seems to me a simple, “How’s your son/daughter doing? Still enjoying (studying/working/hobby)?” would work perfectly fine for small talk.