Wedding related manners/etiquette

Was it his Mum who asked for the lift?

How far away from your home, and his mother’s home, is the venue?

Does his DM live close to you?

Perhaps a relative who is going to the wedding could give his DM a lift ?

Why can't the nephews parents arrange DM transport? I would be tempted to be too busy that day.

It seems odd as he’s not invited to attend.

I would be a bit put out TBH, but if she lives reasonably near you and your husband doesn't mind doing it I would suck it up and let him .Is it his mum asking or the brother /sister whose sons wedding it is? If he doesn't want to do it I say you have already made plans for the day, shopping , pre Christmas meet up with friends as you weren't invited to the wedding so didn't think it would be a problem.

Or you can just do something nice for his Mum.

If his mother asked for the lift I do not see a problem, he is doing a favour for his mother. If the nephew asked then it is a bit of a cheek.

To answer the questions - the round trip is about 40 miles and the request came DH's sister.

Emelle

To answer the questions - the round trip is about 40 miles and the request came DH's sister.

Thanks for the update Emelle; and under those circumstances it would be a resounding NO from me and my OH. Rather cheeky of her IMO, why can't they pick her up the day before and put her up for a couple of nights?

Will it mean she can’t go if your DH doesn’t take her?

Well, after reading the update, I too am inclined to think DH’s sister is being rather cheeky asking for lifts for his mum.

A different matter if he was a guest.

After reading who the request came from and the distance, I would say no, her daughter should do the pick-up and drop-off.

"No, it doesn't work for us"

Lathyrus

Or you can just do something nice for his Mum.

Ditto

It is cheeky but I would do it for my mum if she was still around which, sadly, she is not.

40 miles! That is a cheek, but if it meant his mother can't get to the wedding then I suppose I would, How is she getting back?

eazybee

40 miles! That is a cheek, but if it meant his mother can't get to the wedding then I suppose I would, How is she getting back?

The request was for a lift to and from the venue.

And TBH, if it’s a case of ‘Well, if you don’t bring her, Mum won’t be able to come”, that is really mean, leaving the DH to feel horribly guilty.

It is a bit much not to ask him to stay as what will he do when the wedding is happening? If he came home it would be an 80 mile round trip.

What's he supposed to do while the wedding and reception is taking place? They should offer him food. Or something.At the very least they could squash him in. Could he not be his mother's plus one?

Well bearing in mind the costs..maybe they have had to restrict numbers..
Maybe they could be approached to help with fuel costs... or maybe DM would be happy to contribute.
Depending on agegroup...this might be one of the few family events DMs generation could or would be able to attend....
Or you could just say no....

I would just smile and do it. 40 miles isn't far. Keep the family peace and just do it.

To be gracious, I would give the lift to the venue, but it seems odd that they want him to bring her home as well. wouldn't that be late at night? And what would he do in the meantime...Sit in his car looking glum with some takeout?

Perhaps offer the ride there, and let his sister figure out how to get mum home or to a hotel.

I would totally do it, it's his Mum for goodness sake and 40 miles is less of a distance than my daughter commutes each day. I would also go with them and have a lovely day out spending the money you aren't spending on gifts/drinks etc at the wedding. To use that overworked phrase, Be Kind (to your MiL)

I fail to understand what dilemma there is. Surely, giving Mum a lift to and from somewhere for her to have a nice day out, is the least a loving son can do.
TBH, I am pretty horrified that this request is even being queried.