95yr old frail stubborn mother

All of you have been so helpful....brilliant info too. Pink cosmos hit it on the head. My mum only sees a good friend no matter what I say she will deny she's been taken advantage of? Difficult but I must try to do something now. Citizens advice never answer the phone but I will try Age UK . Wish me luck.

When the Will was made last Oct mum would not tell me what she had done but I now know she told this person she was getting the house. To add insult to injury she made me executor so now I would have to hand over her property. I have seen the will as executor in my opinion it is very poorly written. She has given my grandson who is 12yrs old money but the solicitor has not made any mention of his money being put into trust till he is 18. It is very amateurish no letter heading or address about the solicitor. I am taking the advise and contacting Age UK first wish me luck and thanks again.

I really do think you should show this will to a solicitor. If you as a layperson think it’s badly written it very probably is. Who are the witnesses to Mum’s signature?

contacting Age UK first wish me luck

I'm not "wishing" you luck.

I'm "telling" you, please go to a solicitor, as soon this very moment.

GO to a solicitor, now.

I agree Norah. A solicitor’s advice is needed. Please don’t feel worried or intimidated pita. I’m a retired solicitor. We are approachable. This will sounds rather dodgy to me but the only person who can tell you is a solicitor.

If your mother's second will was drawn up by a solicitor paininthearse it would be extremely difficult to contest it on the grounds that your mum was not of sound mind, as it will be presumed that the solicitor was certain she was, before drawing up the new will.

Does the home now have you registered as next of kin? You do need to arrange to see a solicitor asap, and preferably one with expertise in this field .

'' "she's quite a forthright person it's her way or no way".''

there is however nothing illegal about this. If she is compos mentis, it is her right to be so. And a solicitor would have weighed this when witnessing the will.

In some countries, it is not possible to change will so that next of kin/close family do not inherit. In the UK, it is. But yes, you need to seek legal advice asap.

This sounds truly stressful! You have my sympathy and I hope it can be sorted out.

It does sound like the neighbour has been opportunist, to say the least.

So sorry to hear. Of your situation. I have elderly mother of 91 so I can certainly sympathise. You def need to see your solicitor. I’m setting up LPA currently and it takes at least 4 months to set up but your mother has to sign it with witnesses.
You are still her daughter, I had constant battles with my mother but she will still need you, she’s just confused now with this woman pushing herself forward. I’ve heard of this happening before to someone I know . Good luck

Please keep a detailed diary, get to a lawyer a.s.a.p, contact the care home, doctors and anyone else you can think of to put in place the truth and be insistent. I have heard of several cases, men falling for younger women, where the children have been totally excluded because of favours etc. Please check out the laws on elder coercion as time is of the essence. You need to act now, with determination. At the end of the day it is not about the inheritance, it is about defending your mother's right to free will. This person is a stranger.

Sorry, in addition, please check with lawyers re will that there has been no coercion. Please consider that she was of sound mind when she made the will and was not coerced by another party. Is there any doctor's evidence of her mental competence to make a will? Do you have a local citizens advice bureau? Good luck!

Her new Will was done by a solicitor and signed by them BUT I have heard that people can cleverly abuse old frail people making them their friends and put undue influence all seeming innocent but one of the category on an online specialist law site says "a Will has been created or amended at a time when a loved one was very ill or frail or particularly vulnerable" which she was her health has worsened dramatically since July suddenly the will is changed! Another quote " a Will has been created or amended in order to benefit someone that your loved one has become dependent on and who could fairly be said to have their ear!
A new Will has been created prepared which benefits someone unexpected such as a neighbour or acquired friend.

All of these come under undue influence. All done behind closed doors. This situation is becoming more common unfortunately. Even if the solicitor thought she was of sound mind he is no expert in old people's health condition nor does he know my mother and her situation.
By the way apparently this solicitor did the changes over the phone. Due to mum being housebound. Only comes to the home to get it signed. Not very professional in my book.

This is what I have been trying to tell you pita. You need to see a solicitor who specialises in the elderly. Your mother has been groomed by the neighbour. It is not uncommon. Vulnerable old people are easily conned.

I have no problem with a solicitor taking instructions over the phone then calling on Mum to witness her signature, at which time he could also form an opinion as to her mental capacity, but what he doesn’t know is the background you have described. Do you know who phoned him, and is he Mum’s usual solicitor?

Please, please make an appointment with a solicitor today. The sooner you are able to instruct one and tell them exactly what has happened, the better. Don’t wait and think you will contest the will when Mum has gone. That would involve horrendous expense. Act now whilst all the evidence is available and Mum can be sensitively and appropriately interviewed.

A similar experience with a friend. He thought he was executor to a Will of the aunt who they fed and cared for. The hairdresser ended up with all the cash and a house. 😳. Wasn’t found out until after death. Act NOW as they weren’t able to resolve it.

I have spoken to a brilliant solicitor and he said I cannot do anything about the Will till she has gone unless she changes it. My husband is thinking of trying to talk to her to see why she has done this, she has always listened to him in the past and trusts him.
The solicitor said the best thing to do first is to speak to Social Services about what is going on & about the neighbour who is interfering in her life. They can assess if she is being coerced. He said this sounds like the category for Financial Abuse, and she needs protecting from this hence soc serv. Also if she wont agree to me having LPA I can go to court for a 'deputyship' and protect her that way. He was very helpful and I can go back to him anytime for free via RAC membership.
I have also found out from the Care home she is in at the moment the ruddy neighbour is visiting most days or ringing them about her. She sounds obsessed with my mum. The manager said she needs to find something to occupy her life and leave my mum alone. I would love to ring her and tell her to BACK OFF but that would be ammunition for her. She has the keys to my mums so she lets herself in all the time and because I liver 40 miles away I cannot know if she in mums home while she is in care. I daren't take the keys off her as mum trusts her. She could be up to all sorts. Mum is so frail on her feet and can't always get to the door so this suits her but this is being abused with the neighbour just walking in anytime.

I have had hardly any sleep since before Xmas it is driving us mad. Also solicitor said after I explained what my mum is like that she may not have full mental capacity. Hard to assess because she is lucid one day and angry and unreasonable the next like Jeykll and Hyde which could be showing her mental problems. She cannot work things out and gets so confused cannot sort her own problems wants everyone else to do it them blames them if it is not right. I will be honest my son has developed depression with the way she has treated him, that angers me. Every time he called or visited him she would go on and on blaming him for her problems. That is why he never rang or visited much last year and she is so bitter about that. I tried to explain but she wouldn't listen. Maybe someone has turned her head the solicitor said.

Sorry to go on and on but I am at my wits end with her. But at least I have made a start. If she wont listen to my husband then it is going to be put into Soc serv hands. thanks for all your support and help especially GSM

Germanshepherdsmum

I really do think you should show this will to a solicitor. If you as a layperson think it’s badly written it very probably is. Who are the witnesses to Mum’s signature?

Yes, I was thinking who the witnesses were too. If they are in any way related to the new beneficiary I don't think the new will is legally binding.

If you are able please make an inventory of the contents of the house especially valuables. Why I say this is that I know of a case where I live where the coercer took things from the house and the beneficiaries found quite a few items from their childhood with valuable memories missing. Also, is it possible for you to get the locks changed?

If the beneficiary of a will is a witness they lose their legacy. It doesn’t invalidate the will but it would invalidate that part of it. That’s why I asked earlier who the witnesses are - one of them seemingly the solicitor but who is the other? In my experience care home staff won’t usually act as witnesses.

At this stage pita would be acting illegally in getting the locks changed. Better for her to retain the moral high ground.

thank you for that all of you. GSM could I ask you a legal question please. My husband and I as executors have seen her Will and we both thought the same thing, that there is an error in it. She has left a sum of money for her only Great Grandson the wording in the Will is "I Give ......... to my Great grandson ........ and that's is it.

Firstly no addresses and that applies to all beneficiaries but our concern is that her Great grandson is 12years old I thought that anyone under 18 had to have the money put in trust and trustees named in the Will and these instructions should be in the Will. Are we right and if this is an error how does it affect the Will.

GSM Will witnessed by the solicitor who composed it and it was in her home not by phone as I said before my mistake. The witnesses where people from the Solicitors inc the actual solicitor who drew up the will.
I will only change the locks after death while the Administration Period is in affect and before Probate.

If there was only one great grandson at the time the will was made he can be clearly identified, but the executors will have to hold his legacy until his eighteenth birthday. If other beneficiaries are named there is no need to specify addresses. None of this invalidates the will, but if you can obtain evidence of coercion or lack of mental capacity when the will was made, those are things that can invalidate the will. You must gather all the evidence you can now. The manager of the home may be your friend here and I hope social services can help.

Were the Local Authority involved in your mother's move to the home PITA? Is your mother paying her own fees or are the LA? If the latter whoever is acting for your mother will have to sell the house in order to pay for the fees.

The LA can arrange Competency Tests. If she is not competent and has not appointed an Attorney (as in Power of Attorney) I think one would be appointed for her (GSM?) and could exclude the "friend" if it was thought necessary.

I do think you need to move quickly on this as Germanshepherdsmum suggests. This is her field of knowledge.

pita can apply to the court for deputyship if her mother isn’t mentally capable. The deputy can then sell the house to pay the care fees. The local authority may make such an application themselves if the family don’t. Unless Mum has plenty of cash, the sale of the house will be necessary - or the LA might simply put a charge on it until it’s sold after Mum passes away. It would be sweet revenge if there were nothing left for the neighbour, but pita would lose out too.

It’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that Mum has granted power of attorney to the neighbour. I will check to see if a search can be made with the Office of the Public Guardian.

Yes, you can make such a search and it’s free. Can be done online - see OPG website. I suggest you do that today pita.