For his 40th birthday, my son (with whom I have a good relationship) has organised a weekend celebration with family and close friends in what used to be an old farmhouse with outbuildings, deep in beautiful countryside. It is not an area he knows.
But I do. As does my ex husband. It is not far from where our son was born and the house where we all lived until he was three. This is the place where the marriage broke down, and I have some very bad memories I would prefer not to have resurrected.
This might not matter now. It's a long time ago. Except that my ex husband is keen to show off to another new girlfriend, as well as our son, what he still sees as the enviable house he was able to afford as a successful young businessman (in mid life he made a lot of unwise decisions and lost everything) and all the places nearby he associates with that success.
Of course, my son would like to see his first home and where he went to playgroup etc. I have never told him why I have never wished to take him there before.
But even if I stay away from all the visits my ex has now planned for our son and family and friends, I know from past experience the former will spend every mealtime loudly holding forth about them all to everybody there, dominating the conversation, and reopening old wounds. He never got over my being the one who petitioned for divorce; and now he will be rewriting history. In addition, in spite of his present extremely modest circumstances, he chooses at family occasions such as this to blank my partner of eighteen years, who had a much more modest career. This rudeness (not obvious) we find stressful. And I am particularly annoyed about this, as - when times were bad for my ex - we did our best on several occasions for my son's sake to help him out, even when we were not very well off ourselves. We don't say anything though - it's not worth it for the effect this might have on others during the short period of time we are together as a family group.
I love my son, and I don't want to upset him - he's paid the deposit, and everyone else thinks it's a great place - but
I'm not at all sure I want to go.
Wordling away continued??? 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
The degradation of the U.K. s constitutional standards.