I’m sure the poster is having a good laugh.
What time do you get up and go to bed?
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Relationships
Wife refuses to cook
(139 Posts)The title of the post may come across as chauvinistic but I assure you it's not. Here's the background. I was a single dad with full custody of my daughter since she was about 2 years old. We had our own place and I was responsible for all meal prep. If we wanted to eat then it was all on me. I come from a mom who always cooked big sunday dinenrs for me and my 6 other siblings and we'd always get together with food being the central theme. I quickly learned how to cook like my mom. A few years later I met my wife, girlfriend at the time. She was coming off her first divorce with 2 sons in tow, I'd invite her to my place and cook meals for her and she loved it. And every now and then she'd invite me to her place and she'd cook for me. Her meals were typically spaghetti or fried chicken. Nothing too extravagant. Her and her sons eventually moved in and with both of us working we made the meal that we would alternate cooking nights. She'd cook one day and I'd cook the next. This way no one person is responsible for cooking every day. Granted, my wife claimed to be a great cook. She loved southern style cooking. Fried chicken, pork chops, greens, etc.
Fast forward some 20 years and it seems that she refuses to cook anything. She blames me for that saying since I don't eat greens and cabbage and stuff like that she forgot how to cook them. We're Afro-American and those dishes were staples in our home growing up. I never took a liking to green, cabbage and things like that. Well, it seems that the longer we were together the less she cooked. We both worked outside of the home and when we'd get home from work you cooked for the family. On my nights I'd have a meal planned but on her nights it was always "I have no idea what I want to cook". She thinks meal prep takes days and hours to do. I can think of a meal for the next day during a commercial break. My wife now says things like "I hate to chop veggies" or "I don't have an idea what to cook." She's gotten to the point to when she cooks I have to do the prepping for her. Our cabinet is full of spices and we have two deep freezers stocked full. She refuses to dig in the deep freezer to pull out some chicken or ground beef because that takes time away from her doing something else.
Now it seems like when it's her night to eat we'll usually do take out or fast food. Typically on Saturdays we'd be out running around and I'll ask what she has planned for dinner the next day so we can stop byt he store if she doesn't have everything or if she needs an ingredient or spice. She'll now complain saying it's her night and I shouldn't worry about it. Typically the next day she still won't have an idea then complain when she's short on an ingredient. Typically she'll continue to cook it minus the ingredient she didn't have. We're now in our early 50s and I can't seem to get her to cook anything.
We both work from home now permanently due to covid and we're steps away from the kitchen. She actually has her work station on our kitchen table. But when she gets off work she'll sit there for an hour or two playing on her phone or scrolling through Facebook. When I get off work an hour or so later she'll ask me what I want for dinner and I'll say something like " a home cooked meal." She usually smacks her teeth and walk away. I've even gotten to the point where I'll even say "hey, I'd love for you to cook this week, something, anything." And again she complains that cooking takes too long and she just doesn't have the time. But again, she gets off work an hour and a half before me.
I've asked a similar question on other forum sites and most of the people have usually replied that if I want a mean I should just cook it myself. That sort of defeats the purpose of us alternating nights so one person isn't responsible for cooking every night. Others have said that maybe I should just start cooking for myself and leve her to fend for herself. But do you know how well that would go over if I only fried 1 or 2 pieces of chicken, make a lasagna for 1, or just fix enough for me?
I've even offered for us to cook together and she hates that because when I try to show her anything then she gets all in her feelings saying I'm just lecturing her. I'm surprised she hasn't cut herself by the way she holds a knife.
I'm at my wits end on this. How do I get her to cook once in a while? Again, I'm not asking for a gourmet 5 course meal but just something she thinks about and plans. Standing in the kitchen stirring a pot takes away from her checking everyone's Facebook status. I've even given her recipes to follow and if it has more than 3 or 4 ingredients then she thinks that's a facny meal and she doesn't want to try it.
Bringing it up in a casual conversation usually ends up in an argument. Help. IS there anything I can do?
🥱😴
Don’t encourage him - he is taking us for fools - silly American !
I just can't keep up.
😂
I agree with a couple of the other posters I think there’s more to this than cooking, I hate cooking I do it but I’d rather not lol I’m afraid your wife doesn’t seem very happy! I’d be sitting down and actually talk to her. But I will say if I had a husband that was criticising the things I do in the house. I’d be telling him if he thinks he can do better then do it yourself matey!
Some people like to be instructed. I like to be instructed by someone whose knowledge I respect, but only if I respect their knowledge and experience. Maybe your wife is not one who likes to be instructed, and there are many who
don't.
During that twenty years of living together , did your wife suddenly begin to dislike cooking, or did her dislike come on gradually?
I knew it wasn’t about the cooking. @4thtwin do you cook anything that’s not fried?
I think this is Tommo pretending to be American..
Well it has the right length of story Pasco
And a similar escalation into unbelievability..
I don’t believe it. When asked what he cooks, OP can only come up with ‘Italian, Mexican …’. No named dishes at all. Another wind-up.
I can't believe this thread is still here
MawtheMerrier
I can't believe this thread is still here
I think GNHQ have sneaked away to sample 4thtwin's cooking.
My dh never cooks, never has - largely down to formerly always working very long hours, inc. for years a 6 day week, while I never worked more than part time.
We now have a fair division of labour - I cook, he clears up the kitchen, loads the dishwasher and empties it. Would that work for you? It suits me just fine.
Caleo
Some people like to be instructed. I like to be instructed by someone whose knowledge I respect, but only if I respect their knowledge and experience. Maybe your wife is not one who likes to be instructed, and there are many who
don't.
During that twenty years of living together , did your wife suddenly begin to dislike cooking, or did her dislike come on gradually?
My wife claims to be a good cook but she doesn't try at it. She has admitted to not knowing how to make an omelet or even a grilled cheese sandwich. How hard is it to make a grilled cheese sandwich?
Witzend
My dh never cooks, never has - largely down to formerly always working very long hours, inc. for years a 6 day week, while I never worked more than part time.
We now have a fair division of labour - I cook, he clears up the kitchen, loads the dishwasher and empties it. Would that work for you? It suits me just fine.
"I cook, she cleans"? Not gonna happen because she said I use too many pots, pans, utensils, etc. So the way we have it is I cook, I clean, I load the dishwasher. Then the next day when she wants to possibly cook something she'll tell me to go unload the dishwasher because those are the dishes I used so she shouldn't have to unload the dishwasher from my night of cooking. When she cook it's usually a one pot meal. If she cooks anything with more than one pot she'll usually use one spook to stir all the post as to not add another thing to her dishwasher. She'll run the dishwasher for one pot, 2 plates, and 2 forks. To me that's wasting water.
*4thtwin”
You’re American right?
Go see a therapist.
Quite an entertaining thread, this one. 😂😂😂
Yup. He's exhausted all the US grans...
...my KitchenAid...
I think that says it all!
Anybody who tried me how to chop an onion at my age without my requesting them to would risk me chopping them up!
Put the woman out of her misery and give her a divorce.
4thtwin
Caleo
Some people like to be instructed. I like to be instructed by someone whose knowledge I respect, but only if I respect their knowledge and experience. Maybe your wife is not one who likes to be instructed, and there are many who
don't.
During that twenty years of living together , did your wife suddenly begin to dislike cooking, or did her dislike come on gradually?My wife claims to be a good cook but she doesn't try at it. She has admitted to not knowing how to make an omelet or even a grilled cheese sandwich. How hard is it to make a grilled cheese sandwich?
😂😂😂
4thtwin
Caleo
Some people like to be instructed. I like to be instructed by someone whose knowledge I respect, but only if I respect their knowledge and experience. Maybe your wife is not one who likes to be instructed, and there are many who
don't.
During that twenty years of living together , did your wife suddenly begin to dislike cooking, or did her dislike come on gradually?My wife claims to be a good cook but she doesn't try at it. She has admitted to not knowing how to make an omelet or even a grilled cheese sandwich. How hard is it to make a grilled cheese sandwich?
How hard is it to make a grilled cheese sandwich?
🤔 Just a minute, I'll ask DH
Callistemon21
4thtwin
Caleo
Some people like to be instructed. I like to be instructed by someone whose knowledge I respect, but only if I respect their knowledge and experience. Maybe your wife is not one who likes to be instructed, and there are many who
don't.
During that twenty years of living together , did your wife suddenly begin to dislike cooking, or did her dislike come on gradually?My wife claims to be a good cook but she doesn't try at it. She has admitted to not knowing how to make an omelet or even a grilled cheese sandwich. How hard is it to make a grilled cheese sandwich?
😂😂😂
Oh, I meant to quote GSM's post, apologies!
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