Happy for them, sad for me

I too share your sadness. One of my daughters lives in Canada the other moved to Sweden after Brexit. I’m so happy they are all settled and well. We get to see them fairly regularly/ but it’s so tough not being part of their lives. The GC are growing so fast and I can feel a disconnect now. It’s a constant money worry for us - if we can’t afford to go and see them etc. A friend told me ‘ you have to live for yourself’ now . We are trying but the emotional toil is ever present. I don’t tell them I miss them now as it’s difficult for them too. We just have to be happy they are well.
Take care of yourself and make plans for the future to go and see them. It helps

Both my AC live nearly three hours away. We see them fairly regularly but certainly not weekly or daily.
We do not rely on them or our DGC to make us happy.
I am envious of those who see their offspring all the time but I am pleased my DC are happy and settled and have made a life for themselves.

dragonfly - I don't think those of us with family overseas necessarily rely on children to make us happy. I have lots of positives in my life aside from my children. That said, it's very different having family the other side of the world (if you have little/no spare cash for visits) and having them just a car journey away.

I'm not envious of those who see their adult children and grandchildren "all the time" because that's not how I'd choose to live but it is nice to know you can see people for real at least now and then.

Once flights are involved seeing grown children is complicated and takes advance planning.
Like Not Spaghetti I would be happy if mine lived a car drive away. Even if it was a very long drive.
My AC has been away fir 16 years and there is a loss of connection as we can’t be part of their everyday lives as they aren’t part of ours. It is what it is.
FaceTime is good and better than nothing but it’s not the same as a really lovely hug.

I to feel your sadness as my son and his wife and my grandson live out in Oz.
I miss them every day, but I comfort myself, knowing they have a better life out there and this country has gone to the dogs.

A natural reaction, which I'm sure everyone will understand... particularly the many who are in a similar position with distant relatives. The so-called "global village" is something of a myth, particularly for those of us who are of advancing years, and for whom long haul flights are physically demanding, if not outright medically inadvisable, quite apart from the expense. Good that you're concentrating on the positives for them, and that today we have so much more opportunity for live communication via the internet, unlike in the distant days of my youth when those lightweight airmail letters plus the very occasional long distance phone call were all we had to rely on. All will be well.

Yes it was worse pre technology. A family member left on a £10 ticket and never returned for a visit; in those far off days fares were more expensive than they are now while wages of course were much less.

Calendargirl

My DD married an Australian 21 years ago. Her 3 children are now 20, 19 and 16. Cannot pretend I know them half as well as the 2 GC who live in the same town as us.

Is it a better life? No, not really. Boiling hot summers, cold winters, (they live in Canberra), high taxes, cost of living still expensive. Housework, cooking, jobs, you still have them to do if the other side of the world.

It’s not all barbecues and Bondi beach.

But it’s where her DH is from, and where they choose to live.

I just wish it were somewhere in Europe, so much more accessible.

For me it is the other way round. My son met an Australian girl who was working over here and twelve years ago they went with their two children to live in Canberra. We have been to see them four times and they have been back twice. I think that they have a better life than they would have had here and for that reason we are happy for them. We Skype every week but as the children get older it gets more difficult to fit in with their activities. I have two more grandchildren here but it doesn't stop me wishing that we could all be together more often.

We have two sons who live close to us and who we see every weekend and sometimes in the week too. Then we have our daughter and her three children who are living in New Zealand at the moment. Her working life is better, much better working conditions, but much of everything else is not better, as I said in my earlier post. I also went into detail about why it is not better. A better life is a myth. Life is much the same if you live in a first world country. Some bits may be better, others worse, but essentially ‘a better life’ is a myth. People go because they want adventure, something a bit different, maybe better working conditions as in the case of medics because we treat the medical profession very poorly in this country, but a better life? No, it’s much the same with a few differences.

Fully understand and sympathise. 100% of my offspring lives in Australia, plus 4 grandchildren. They all left home immediately after university, married Australians and eventually emigrated for good. Great jobs and lovely homes, Australian grandparents very much part of their lives: they are happy, but I so wish it could be different. I hope you will settle quickly and not feel sad for long

I think the point about a "better life" will apply in my son and DiL's case. In London they could only afford a tiny apartment and buying a house would have meant a huge mortgage.
They get so much more for their money in Australia and they have all her friends and family around.
I have to admit that they have probably made the right decision and secured a better life for themselves

HiMay, that must be hard! I hope you manage to visit and that they can get to you as well sometimes?

I do hope it gets easier for you. No easy answer but it’s Gods own country , right ?….
Seems like Australian women just can’t be away from their roots . I hope they visit you lots otherwise it is just not equal
Also things change & never ever stay the same either. Who knows how this situation will pan out in a few years.

Thanks Labadi0747, I can already see that my DiL is much happier now that she is home, and I truly understand that. I am just so sad that my son is now so far away.
Luckily they are being brilliant about keeping in touch so far - hope it lasts