You don't say how old you are or how long you have been together? I think some male people do get 'grumpier' with old age. While I admit I was a monster during my menopause years, I feel I am much calmer and kinder now I am in my 60s. I have noticed, however, that men seem to leak away their kindness once they have retired. While I am out and about, I overhear so many pensioners squabbling, and it's usually the bloke banging on about some minor matter. E.g. I was on an Intercity train last week, and a couple sat down nearby, transpired their reserved seats were not together, but separated by the aisle. The woman had made the booking, and was extremely effusive in her apologies to her partner. For a solid HOUR, he rebuked her across the aisle - "How could you be so downright stupid? Why can't you get anything right? Why didn't you check the seating layout of the carriage? Do I have to double check every single thing you do?" and so on. She just kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...." God knows what he would have said to her in private, if he was like that in public! In the end, another passenger offered to swap seats so they could sit together, though why she'd want to sit next to that bad tempered so-and-so was a mystery to me! I honestly felt like passing her a note saying, "Leave him! You don't need to live like this!"
So, Tabby, I am passing you a note on this forum -
LEAVE HIM - YOU DON'T NEED TO LIVE LIKE THIS!