My house. Should I sell to accommodate partner and downsize

Also, my house has certain benefits for him such as land to keep his work vehicles on. If I downsized and we lived together, he wouldnt have this benefit. Im unlikely to buy somewhere with as much land as I have now

LemonZest think practically, think with your clever mind not with your fickle heart. You own your house outright, so your in quite a financially secure position, you want to leave it to your children, and you want to downsize to retire early. All very sound and good reasons not to compromise. You are not his mother you don’t have to create security for him, if it’s security he wants he’s had at least 9 years to address this. Also You sound unsure about the relationship. I think your clear about what you shouldn’t do .

Get legal advice.

Stay where you are seems to me to be the most sensible thing to do.

Get legal advice - two votes

Get legal advice and put your kids first.

If you are happy together and envisage being together for ever (or as long as you are both living) and he is totally accepted as a family member by your children (a lot of "ands") why don't you make your will leaving your house to your children on your death but giving your partner liferent use with him paying all expenses and living costs. This would need to be organised by a solicitor and he would advise you of the legalities.

Get legal advice and talk through the options with your solicitor.
You want to downsize so you can retire early.. this is the life choice to make for you.
You also want to protect any property you have to give your family an inheritance.. this is a choice to make for you.
If your partner has work vehicles he can rent space for them.. it is not up to you to accomodate his business needs. Will this not be tax deductable??
We only have one life.. you have worked hard to be in the financial position you have... please dont let it slip away by sweet words or guilt tripping.
Do what is right for you.

Perhaps he could buy a small property and let it out, giving him security for the future.

Thank you for all your comments. If I was on my own, I would downsize to 2 bedrooms and move, then I would have money in the bank and could go part time.
I would let him stay if I died before him, but, I could die in 10 years, he could live for 25 more years which would mean my children won't inherit until their late 50s.

NotAGran55

Perhaps he could buy a small property and let it out, giving him security for the future.

He's left it late for a mortgage and even when he's looked, there is nothing suitable in his eyes, but yes this is a good idea.
He has also suggested we go 50% each on a property for both of us, but I don't want to get tied down with the stress of another mortgage in my 60s!

What would he do if he didn’t live with you? He moved into a good set up so you made it easy for him to do nothing.It’s all yours to do as you wish, and I would not remortgage, he shouldn’t ask that of you.. You are not his mother and he has had plenty of time to be independent of you, it’s just easier this way.. He might even be entitled to proceeds of your house should you due first as you’ve let him stop there and run his business. I would seek legal advice.

Protect your assets and seek legal advice

Don’t do it.

He won't be entitled to any proceeds of house. He paid 20 years for half a mortgage that was in his GFs name only. He left and got nothing and this was with legal advice

I’m with the get legal advice group. I’d want to prioritise and secure the future for my children. It’s up to him to ensure he has security in older age.

Spinnaker

Get legal advice and put your kids first.

Perhaps put yourself first?

I would carry on with your plans. It’s up to him to sort out his own “security”. 9 years seems a long time to be dawdling?

I agree you should not be lumbering yourself with a mortgage. If you want to downsize, you should.
Have you talked this over with your DP?

No, no no. That's it basically. An old friend, always told me, hang on to your home, because you never know what is around the corner.

He has also suggested we go 50% each on a property for both of us, but I don't want to get tied down with the stress of another mortgage in my 60s!

Why would you need a mortgage? Wouldn't you use some of the proceeds from your current home to buy your 50%?

Don't do anything without legal advice.

(Are you sure there was legal advice involved when he was paying his GF's mortgage? It sounds unlikely.)

Are you sure he has no rights in your property just by having lived there? I may be entirely wrong, but do check it out.

I think, as you clearly want to stay together, some kind of compromise is needed, like him having a buy to let property, if necessary you helping out there. If you predecease him he will have somewhere to live and your house can be sold for the children. if you have some equity in the second property, be prepared to let go of that.

I'm sure he has contributed to the upkeep of your house in non financial ways (thats why I asked the question about him having any financial rights I your house) but that energy put in can offset any relatively small amount of equity you held in the buy to let property.

LemonZest, I was in a similar situation as in I own this house and married and Ex move in with me. He pressed me to put it in joint names but something held me back.

He had no means to speak of ie income would not support much input but he did quite a but on the house.

When we divorced the only way I kept the house was becuase he had been given guaranteed social housing and - he has a guaranteed inheritance that was more than equal to the value of my house.

You d need legal advice but first you have to work out what your feelings are about the future with him.

If I were him I would feel insecure about the future asince you've made it clear you want your children to have the value of the house - and a buy to let that he could live in might help.

But here's the thing: he has to be prepared probably not to live in the style he is accustomed to with you in a cheaper second property. Your compromise would be to party invest in that property and write off your share in it if you pre-decease for him.

Some honest talking is needed here, and the very bast of luck, as if you love each other these obstacles can be over come.

You really must get legal advice LemonZest, like Wyllow I also wonder if he may have legal rights having cohabited there for 9 years.

You've said what happened with him paying half a mortgage that was in his GF's name, getting nothing when he left. This is not the same thing. Was there proof that he'd paid half the mortgage because for example, paying into half into his GF's bank account, not directly to the mortgage provider isn't proof.

If you're wanting to downsize, why not do that anyway? The suggestion that your partner could rent somewhere to keep his work related vehicles has already been made, as has stating in your will that he can continue to live there should you predecease him, until he dies or needs too/wants too move out, at which time the house would pass on to your children.

I wouldn't worry about the age your children could be when they inherit, as long as they do. You need to ask yourself whether downsizing to free money so you can retire early is what you really want to do. If it is, go for it.

FarNorth

^He has also suggested we go 50% each on a property for both of us, but I don't want to get tied down with the stress of another mortgage in my 60s!^

Why would you need a mortgage? Wouldn't you use some of the proceeds from your current home to buy your 50%?

Don't do anything without legal advice.

(Are you sure there was legal advice involved when he was paying his GF's mortgage? It sounds unlikely.)

You are completely correct. I meant more if he suddenly couldn't work, I would be liable to pay his mortgage or lose my house. But yes, I would pay cash for my half