Gransnet forums


Ukrainian guests

(53 Posts)
Mirren Sun 20-Aug-23 16:00:46

Hi , does anyone have any Ukrainian guests?
We took a lovely young couple with a toddler back in December.
We expected to host for 6m in which time they would seek work and their own accommodation.
At 6m they told us they were applying to join family in the USA.
The wife works from home in a job she's had in Ukraine. He hasn't worked except for 5 weeks labouring in the spring. He does no domestic chores ,child care or anything much, as far as I can tell.
Despite letting them use our 2nd car they hardly ever go out and have made no attempt to join in the local community. They have even refused to join Ukrainian support group. They went once to the toddler group I arranged ( and went with them)
They are always in our home. It is getting suffocating.
Now we are told they messed up the US application and have started again. They may hear from that " next week or in months "
They also told me they have suspended active search for a flat lest they incur financial loss( never mind our financial costs hosting them ! Our fuel bills trebled and are no where near covered by the£350 thank you payment)
If refused entry to the US ,then they will search for a flat.
I feel quite despondent.
I do not wish to see them suffering. They have been through a lot, coming from Mariiupol. They are very nice....but I would like my home back ..especially as our youngest is returning home in 2024(as part of her university course to work at a local hospital ) so we need a room .
I am beginning to feel we are being taken advantage of and our kindness abused.
It is sounding as if they have settled in for ever .
Does anyone have thoughts or adviceon how to gently ask them to leave?

maddyone Tue 22-Aug-23 10:23:10

Redhead is right. I think you’ve been wonderful to host this family for these seven months but you do need to tell them to find other accommodation now. You can continue to support them in other ways when they move, but you need your home back now.

Ali08 Sun 27-Aug-23 04:28:19

They've suspended active search for a flat lest it incurs them financial loss??
That is a big red flag right there!!
Looking for a flat should only cost them petrol money or travel fares, at the most, so what is this financial loss they are talking about? Unless they don't want to pay a deposit & rent up front, although surely they'd get help with that?!!
Take them to your local council and housing associations and help them fill in forms and hand them in. Contact the agency that placed them with you and tell them you have to have the room back for your DD returning, and reiterate their 6 month stay has gone on for longer!
You'd think they would want to be with their own people at least some of the time.