Sister Wives - could you?

M0nica

Unless the Moromons, or any other group are equally happy and accepting of households where one woman has several husbands, all happy in there own quarters and prepared to stay celibate unless she favours them with her body, I will see this as another form of institutianal anti-feminism.

Yes, I agree, that lifestyle means there is no equality.

Hithere

Get ready for a bumpy tode@

Exactly what I was thinking!

I have watched it, and it made me increasingly uncomfortable.
I think I’m with M0nica on this, but the men would never put up with it.

I remember watching that series. I thought there were a lot of underlying tensions in the families , the females, and some were very,very young ,didn’t get a lot of say in things. I suppose they want to multiply because there aren’t many of them as in the Old Testament many years before them. Anything that is closed to the outside world, as they are, makes me feel very uneasy.

I think I ve seen this a while back and there wasn’t the harmony that you are seeing Doodlebug

I’m not advocating it as a way of life😀. I’m watching Sister Wives on Discovery + - there are other series (Big Love is one of them) that have covered this and may be different.

In theory I agree with those saying it is sexist - even misogynistic- but so far in this series they all seem happy and if they are, I don’t see why it should be illegal. There are lots of things that other people do that I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t make them illegal.

I repeat - I am not arguing for or against anything at this stage though

I’ve watched this from the beginning and we are now on season 18 episode 11. I won’t spoil the ending for you but everything you are watching is a lie, a false and filmed for tv reality show, where nothing is as it is purported to be. Enjoy the ride.

Thanks. I’ll start to watch for cracks in the edifice .

I must admit, after watching quite a few episodes now, that it is so wholesome that it doesn’t seem true.

I found it an absolutely fascinating view at an alternative lifestyle. The psychological experience of the disparate women and the sole male is intriguing. The husband is worth particularly watching, keep a close eye on him.

It's a cult - closed to some extent to the outside world, where men hold the real power and thus have the ability to abuse.

Can a woman have more than one husband? No. Just another form of Patriarchy.

Not for me.

Whethertomorrow

I found it an absolutely fascinating view at an alternative lifestyle. The psychological experience of the disparate women and the sole male is intriguing. The husband is worth particularly watching, keep a close eye on him.

I’ve noticed that he smiles all the time, even when he’s speaking, which is strange and probably scripted. It must be quite difficult to keep that up.

Also, at the risk of being indelicate, he currently has four wives and rotates his sleeping arrangements between them. As they are young women who presumably have a healthy interest in sex, does he have to do it every night? If not, there will be a gap between opportunities for each of them. And as they are unlikely to use contraception, the ones hoping to conceive will have their chances reduced too. Also, the thought of ‘oh, it’s Tuesday so I will have to do my wifely duty tonight’ would be offputting for the women, wouldn’t it?

If we are being indelicate it would be more the thought of what he had done on Monday that would put me off.

One word - ugh.

Just horrible its male domination ….again

Yes, that was the phrase I was looking for - my delicacy is not at its best at this time in the morning .

Also, on a more prosaic level, I've just realised the problem with medical assistance in the US. The first wife is being investigated for cancer, and there would be a huge issue with keeping up medical insurance for all those people (there are 20 children, I think). And they have to pretend not to be married to the same man, too. That has to be tricky where records are concerned. Do they all use Kody's surname?

I started with a very open mind, but I'm now on series 2, and I'm struggling a bit to keep it open.

Hmm. He is moving them all to another state (because of his decision to go public with the polygamy) and not everyone is keen on the idea. The ideology is coming through now. It is Kody's right to lead the rest of the family, and - even more telling - when the children were gifted to him by God he got the right for them to live in his home until they marry.

His constant grinning is getting on my nerves now, particularly as so many of the others are really upset by the thought of moving. They aren't just leaving their home, but their careers, their friends and everything they know.

I haven't seen the programme but have heard of polygamy being practiced in the odd corner of LDS church ( absolutely not in the mainstream).
Like Dickens I am amused by the idea the defence of the practice being that love doesn't have to be exclusive- but that this only applies to men. Women, of course must be faithful to one man. Patriarchy at its worst.

I should add, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one, that my ex husband was happy to have other women in his life. I just didn't give my consent....

I still have a feeling that if (and it is a big if) all concerned consent then it’s nothing to do with the state. This family encourages education unlike LDS and other sects, so the women aren’t left with no choice but to marry. It’s not what I would choose, but it’s not harming anyone outside of the family. Why criminalise them?

Could you do it?

No. A moral conundrum to me, doesn't matter if others agree.

Not any more than I could sleep with another, participate in unmarried sex, or use illegal drugs. I married young, it seems, and I'm quite happy sleeping every night with the same person.

Doodledog, aren’t Mormons the same as the ‘Latter Day Saints mob’? If not, what is the difference?

You still would be, Norah😀. They marry young too, and the women are 100% monogamous- it’s the husband who’s not, but only with the other wives.

I don’t see it as a moral issue- more of a personal one that I wouldn’t enjoy. I’m still unsure about the need to criminalise them though. Much of what goes on happens in monogamous marriages too - struggles for control, jealousies, financial problems and so on. No human relationships are perfect. It’s on a smaller scale in most cases, but all the same it happens, as divorce statistics show. Adultery is not illegal and it is usually not carried on with spousal consent, so even that doesn’t apply.

The edifice is showing though. For one thing, all the pieces to camera are seeming more fake. Where are all the crew? And if the family is in hiding, how do they explain to hospital and shop staff that they are followed everywhere by cameras and lighting?

Doodledog

You still would be, Norah😀. They marry young too, and the women are 100% monogamous- it’s the husband who’s not, but only with the other wives.

I don’t see it as a moral issue- more of a personal one that I wouldn’t enjoy. I’m still unsure about the need to criminalise them though. Much of what goes on happens in monogamous marriages too - struggles for control, jealousies, financial problems and so on. No human relationships are perfect. It’s on a smaller scale in most cases, but all the same it happens, as divorce statistics show. Adultery is not illegal and it is usually not carried on with spousal consent, so even that doesn’t apply.

The edifice is showing though. For one thing, all the pieces to camera are seeming more fake. Where are all the crew? And if the family is in hiding, how do they explain to hospital and shop staff that they are followed everywhere by cameras and lighting?

The man is decidedly not monogamous, may not have married before sex, and for me it appears an adulterous relationship of sorts. I, too, don't know if such is criminal, but I do know it's immoral, for me.