narcissistic man

Let it go! Move on

I have respect for myself. This just wouldnt happen.

Indeed. This is just for sex.

You have decided to trust your instincts and go no contact. Keep it that way

Think you have your answer.. Leg it!

Please be strong and stay NO CONTACT.

He will do his best to worm his way back in because by the sounds of it the whole relationship was tilted very much in his favour.

I also doubt he ever left the online dating sites. He was probably up to no good on the days you didn't meet and maybe even still sleeping with his ex.

My friend was in a similar situation but he took it very badly. Every time she went out there would be flowers or chocolates left on her doorstep when she got back. She began to believe he was watching her but she never saw him. She text him and said if he didn’t stop leaving things and coming round when she was out she would have to involve the Police. Then she blocked him and I believe that was the end of him.

I meant to say, do you have a friend or relative you could confide in just in case he starts bothering you again and coming to your house?

Thanks for all of these comments.
I'm feeling awful today and have been thinking about going back to him.
He is messaging two or three times a day and I'm scared to block him in case it sends him over the edge completely.
The last message said he's sorry for contacting me but he's got no one else to talk to. So it sounds like still being able to contact me is like a therapy for him.
I'm in work this evening until 8 and as he knows I work every Tuesday evening I'm concerned that he may be out in our hospital car park when I leave.
Looking back on the time I was with him we had a great time each time we met up and I keep thinking I should give him a second chance. Maybe he kept talking about his ex's because he's very insecure.
Someone has put on here about me taking a toy boy for occasional pleasure, well that's how this all started, with us meeting for physical relationship and then it moved on to meeting up on Wednesdays for walking in the day.
There's no way I can go back to online dating again, just can't make that effort again.
So maybe I ought to go back to the devil I know and set strong boundaries.

He’s got no one else to talk to

What about when he goes to the ex and adult children for a meal? Do they all eat in silence?

What makes you think he will stalk you?
He hasn't put much effort into seeing you so far, so I wonder how you think he will suddenly become unstable in some way?

You don't seem to be certain what you yourself want.

What else is there in this relationship but sex? You say that’s why it started. Do you have no self respect? By all accounts he’s never spent money on you because on the two occasions in 17 months that you’ve been out together you’ve gone halves. You’re just a counsellor and a friend with benefits to him. And maybe not exclusively. I don’t think you’ll take notice of any of the advice you’ve been given.

No, no, no you should not "go back to the devil you know". Aren't you worth more than that,

Why would you settle for just being a bootie call for someone who can't even be bothered to visit you when you were ill. he shows no regard or respect for you. He's a walking red flag.

Have a little dignity and self respect. Don't hold yourself so cheap. He's a user, only in it for himself. He has nothing to offer you. You can do better.

He is messaging two or three times a day and I'm scared to block him in case it sends him over the edge completely. The last message said he's sorry for contacting me but he's got no one else to talk to. So it sounds like still being able to contact me is like a therapy for him.

You’re not responsible for his well-being. He needs to manage that himself.

Actually, I believe we've read this exact "problem" prior to now, different name poster, same daft story. As everyone has given good advice, quit.

Run as fast as you can. If he does stalk you then please go straight to the police. Let him go. There are plenty more fish in the sea and you do not deserve a poisonous one. Take care.

Or, accept that sex is all that's on the cards.
The rest of his time is his to do as he pleases, if that's the case.

Norah

Actually, I believe we've read this exact "problem" prior to now, different name poster, same daft story. As everyone has given good advice, quit.

It is becoming more familiar as it progresses

Indeed it is.

DerbyshireLass

No, no, no you should not "go back to the devil you know". Aren't you worth more than that,

Why would you settle for just being a bootie call for someone who can't even be bothered to visit you when you were ill. he shows no regard or respect for you. He's a walking red flag.

Have a little dignity and self respect. Don't hold yourself so cheap. He's a user, only in it for himself. He has nothing to offer you. You can do better.

I agree with this and GSM comments too!

He is likely not a narcissist, he is a tight arse wad who gets to sleep with you a couple of times a week without even having to buy you dinner. Dump him.

👍🏻 And I bet the OP provides all the food and drinks when he stays over. To put it very crudely, is there a cheaper way to get your leg over?

faringdon59

Thanks for all of these comments.
I'm feeling awful today and have been thinking about going back to him.
He is messaging two or three times a day and I'm scared to block him in case it sends him over the edge completely.
The last message said he's sorry for contacting me but he's got no one else to talk to. So it sounds like still being able to contact me is like a therapy for him.
I'm in work this evening until 8 and as he knows I work every Tuesday evening I'm concerned that he may be out in our hospital car park when I leave.
Looking back on the time I was with him we had a great time each time we met up and I keep thinking I should give him a second chance. Maybe he kept talking about his ex's because he's very insecure.
Someone has put on here about me taking a toy boy for occasional pleasure, well that's how this all started, with us meeting for physical relationship and then it moved on to meeting up on Wednesdays for walking in the day.
There's no way I can go back to online dating again, just can't make that effort again.
So maybe I ought to go back to the devil I know and set strong boundaries.

tell him to talk to his ex wife or his children that he spends the rest of the week with, or suggest you will contact them to let them know he is 'lonely'. Frankly, I don't think he is even apart from his wife, you are, to put it bluntly, (and crudely) a cheap shag. You are better than this. Do not answer his texts, block him on your phone, get a work colleague to accompany you to your car if you are concerned, but I think this creep will just move on to his next victim, he is too tight to woo you with flowers and chocolates. Hold your head up, you can, and will, do better. Sorry to be blunt, but men like this give me the rage.

A sexual health check up for you would be a good idea Faringdon.

You’ve beaten me to it mumofmadboys.
I’d be wondering where else he’s been.
It’s up to you OP, but you’re being well and truly used.