narcissistic man

He sounds horrible, mean with money and selfish. It’s also possible that you’re not his only female friend, has that occurred to you? Keep away and find a nice dog.

I think some people thrive on drama, and the attention on here.
This all sounds like a storyline in EastEnders 😒

So.......we're being played and it's all made up.??

No Derbyshire Lass this is not being made up.
Yesterday evening I sent this man a text to say I'd advised my youngest son that he had turned up uninvited to my house yesterday.
I then went on to say that if he called over again I wouldn't answer the door and would be calling my son.
It seems to have worked as he hasn't sent a text or made a call since.
I feel bad that I'm going to miss the relationship that we had even if it was a friends with benefits type of thing. It suited us both at the time, it was good to have the intimacy and the company, someone to walk with and to share a meal.
Someone on here suggested that I should give up on men and get a dog. That's not the answer for me. I've lived on my own since being divorced in 2006, after being married for nearly 30 years.
I've watched my ex move on and marry someone 15 years younger than him and that is the way of the world, men can always go younger. So when I started dating this man and he was only 4 months younger than me I was feeling very pleased, add that to the fact that he was very good looking and physically fit. So please don't be too quick to judge someone for having a physical relationship, especially at this stage of life.

Glad to hear this.

I do think your situation and concerns are genuine. You are a long-time member of GN and have posted in the past about various aspects of your life, having been alone for a long time after divorce, working in the NHS and about trying online dating

I sympathise as I also tried online dating once - and never to be repeated. I was 60, newly-retired and feeling a tad lonely. I had lived alone for a long time after being widowed and felt the need to go outside my usual social circle - just to see who was out there really.

I also met a man the same age as me where the chemistry seemed very strong. The physical side was very good. For a while, I really did think I had met a good if not perfect match. But there was also a nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right, that he wasn’t being completed honest with me - and he wasn’t. I did not discover to what extent until much later. There were other red flags too.

I ended it after a few months and felt immense relief - but for a very long time afterwards, I mean years, he would, intermittently, try to reel me back in. It is a very long story that I am not going to relate but I do know how someone like that can try to wear your resistance down. It’s all too easy to remember the good times and forget the worrying stuff.

You have to be very strong and tell yourself over and over again what you always knew - that the relationship wasn’t all that you needed it to be.

When you are feeling weak, remember this aphorism:

Women want many things from one man. Men want one thing from many women.

Stay strong and good luck.

I was not judging you for wanting a relationship. I am not suggesting you need to live like a nun but rather that you need to take a bit more care in your choice of men. The one you got entangled with wasn't the right one, is all.

Good he seems to have finally got the message......

And as a quick aside, age really is just a number. There are plenty of mature women with younger partners. My late husband was 6 years younger than me. 😉.

And recently I met a guy at least 20 years younger who expressed interest in me. Pleasant chap just not my type. 😂

People are all to quick to offer advice and tell you what to do and they may well be correct but they do not have to live with the consequences

What do you mean? OP asked for advice or opinions.

Well, something interesting has happened this morning. My middle son has called to invite me round for lunch tomorrow.
I told him all about the break up with this man and he thinks I should have given him a second chance!
He said he thinks that this guy was just being honest by talking about his ex- wife and ex partner all the time.
When this man called round unexpectedly to my house on Thursday morning he still didn't apologise for not testing for 4 days, just said he couldn't do it because he was so ill with a tummy bug and also because his mobile was downstairs all the time!
Maybe it's just a male perspective which is totally different.
But it's now got me thinking I was too harsh on this guy, too ready to give him up and at age 68 I'm not going to find anyone for a relationship again.
Sorry all, just trying to sort my thoughts out.

Sorry typo, should say texting not testing.

Your middle son is an idiot

This guy is a total creep :
You are useful for sex when he feels like it .
When you are ill - he couldn't care less .

I went out with a guy , who was very nice to me for a few dates -marriage was mooted then , he became vile , assaulted me in a restaurant and locked me in his house .
I was terrified of his temper .
I was also scared of his stalking me and made excuses not to see him afraid to tell him that it was over .
He talked about his ex wife non stop . She'd left him for someone else . And they'd parted . I think that he enjoyed telling his children about me so that it would get to her .
I also found that the stories of his being a successful in the film business was a complete fabrication .
Stick with your decision .
Don't go back to him .
Change your phone number .
Change the locks if necessary .
Don't hesitate to call the police .
Find someone worthy of you .
And good luck .

So, a big fuss because you were convinced he was going to stalk you, (based on absolutely nothing) now a lot of hand wringing because he didnt text you.

What is it you actually want?

If it's to go back with him, then do just that, but accept how it is, and how he is.

You agreed to a Fwb arrangement, and that is what you've had.

Drama loves an audience.

I wonder if the son realises what the relationship is.

I'm not sure faringdon59 does, herself.

If it were me in such a relationship, it’s safe to say my son would be horrified.

Some things are best "kept under your hat".
😇

What part of " extremely misogynist " appeals to you, or your son, faringdon?

Are you so desperate for a relationship that anybody is better than nobody, you really need to think this through would you rather be in a bad relationship than none. If you do get back together perhaps some ground rules need to established and a few changes to the direction of how the relationship moves forward, because at the moment it seems to be purely for sex and as good as that is at 68 now long is it going to last.

at age 68 I’m not going to find anyone else for a relationship again .

Are you really so desperate for sex - because that’s all this relationship is, and has always been, about?

I would imagine there are some decent men, perhaps widowed, who are looking for a proper relationship, hopefully with great sex too.

The best of both worlds.

What has it got to do with your son? You sound a bit weak to me.

Perhaps you need to work on esteem issues, it might help you see this man for what he is.

I really can't believe that you would be taken in by him not being able to call because his phone was downstairs.

Tin soldier I am aware the OP asked for opinions and advice Perhaps I didn’t say what I meant clearly
So many post start off by not giving the whole picture then adding to it