Nowt so queer as folk as they say in Yorkshire

I agree with those saying don’t push her. Whatever her reasons they are hers, and nobody has a right to go into someone else’s personal space. There are all sorts of reasons why she prefers her home to be private, and so long as you enjoy her company when you see her, those reasons shouldn’t get in the way of friendship. You risk losing a friend if you make her feel uncomfortable, which pushing to invade her space might do.
You sound like a lovely friend, and it would be a shame if she lost you.

People who I would count as my true friends have been to mine and me to theirs many times and often just walk in as I would to their's

There's a swathe of people however whom I have known for years and talked to in the street who have never asked me in and have perhaps been to my house on one or two occasions.

At the other extreme, an enthusiastic family moved in next door about 30 years ago, invited us to a huge party (marquee, catering and band) and the next day their DD, aged about 10, walked into our house, uninvited, and followed me into the bathroom where our youngest was in the tub!
I didn't encourage her familiarity.
I still know this fanily though thankfully they no longer live next door.

Folks are suggesting that the friend is untidy/ horder etc or that she is embarrassed. I think there was mention of decluttering. Perhaps this friend is a bit. OCD and can’t stand any disruption

Keep being her friend. She might just feel it is too tiring to invite you in and if she has hurt her shoulder she maybe can’t tidy up and feels a bit ashamed of the mess. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

My grandmother grew up in the era of "formal" calls where people only stayed about 20 minutes and left cards if the mistress was out. There were people whom she "knew socially" and others. Those who were known socially were invited in and others were kept on the doorstep. That seems like a good plan to me.

I am also a very private person and have never invited a neighbour in for 20 years. If I need to speak to one at length I have one of those ring type doorbells and I use the app. I find that gets across the message that they are intruding.

I have a good friend who I worked with for many years and also socialised with often. She doesn't have people to her house because she regards it as her sanctuary from the world. I am perfectly happy to meet up with her at other places. I don't think it's something related to a specific area, just a specific person

Update. We have exchanged a few text messages over the past 2 months but I do not like communicating with long messages so my messages are always brief.
Then surprise, surprise my friend invited me round for a cup of tea yesterday.
My friend only lives a 20-min walk away. Off I trotted. She's doing very well following surgery. We had a lovely time catching up with lots of news.

Ziplok

Sometimes, people are embarrassed to have people see their home. Do you think this could be a possibility?

That's my thought too.

CocoPops - what lovely news!

I can't tell you how pleased I am - and truly don't know why... I think maybe it reminds me of my mother's great friend who struggled such a lot... - I am SO relieved for you both.

Happy day! 💐

Sorry, missed your update Cocopops
That's lovely.

When I get my new kitchen I'll invite you all round for tea and cake 😁

I am guessing my friend reached the stage where she was absolutely itching for some company and news!

So pleased your friendship is back on track

Callistemon I'll bring some scones.

Coming in at a different angle here. I have a friend that always comes round to me once a week, I've never (over years) been invited to her place - she's explained this to me.

She finds it hard to go out amongst people she doesn't know, so spends nearly all her time at home. She says that coming to my home, just once a week, for her feels like an outing. I don't mind, it's a good excuse to put kettle on and have a good natter, no matter where.

CocoPops

Callistemon I'll bring some scones.

Yes please!
I cannot make scones, they always end up like rock cakes.

Some people just don’t like having people in their home. If you can’t just accept that your friend is one of these people and you are not prepared to continue to host her in your house your only option , other than ending the friendship, is to always meet on neutral territory.

I certainly don’t think you should ask for an explanation or keep pushing in any way. All you should do is offer your help but be prepared for it not to be accepted or even acknowledged.

Grannytomany My friend is confined to barracks following a TSR. and not able to visit me at the moment. I visited her on Thursday at her invitation.

My husband's sister is similar - happy to go out to see people, glad to go to anyone's home, but hasn't had anyone (including her 3 AC and now her only GD) for 10 years. She says there are rooms she cannot even get into in her house because she's got so much stuff - she had every single thing - furniture, ornaments, white goods, etc., from the house when my MIL died and it's all piled up, apparently. She admits she's a hoarder, but she refuses all offers of help.
Perhaps your friend is a hoarder, too.

It's definitely not a Northern thing!
My Lancashire neighbour when I first arrived in Scotland 50 years ago was almost over friendly. She had a habit of walking in with a "cooie!"

There was another neighbour, a native of Edinburgh, who kept me on the doorstep when I knocked unannounced. I was embarrassed until yet another neighbour explained that her house would have been in a "guddle" so not to take it personally.

No one has seemed to mention that this woman has broken her shoulder and therefore must be quite incapacitated. OP says the family work full time so I sense this person is struggling with day to day tasks.

I had surgery a couple of months ago and wasn't prepared for how little I would be able to do afterwards.

Even when my daughter came to visit a week ago I was embarrassed at how neglected my home had become because it takes me so long to do the most basic jobs. Yes, I am embarrassed when people call but accept they have come to see me, not my house!

It could be that life is just a struggle for this person she just isn't ready for socialising yet. Maybe pop a note through her door?

Ziplok

Sometimes, people are embarrassed to have people see their home. Do you think this could be a possibility?

That was my first thought. Maybe a problem with hoarding, or just dirty/messy/both?

That's true keepingquiet but the OP was offering to help her.
It was the refusal to accept help which surprised me.

People have such different views on these things though. I would never call on someone unexpectedly. If I absolutely had to for some reason I wouldn't accept an invitation to go in, as I'd be very aware that I could be intruding. I would explain why I was there, and leave ASAP, even if offered coffee.

Also, if I someone is ill they might just want to be left alone. They might not be dressed if they've had a bad night, or they might know they need to rush to the loo regularly, or just want to curl up on the sofa with a cup of tea and an episode of Poirot.

I know that some people have an open door policy, which is fine for them, but I don't think it's reasonable to assume that anyone who doesn't is unfriendly, has a messy/dirty house or must have mental health problems.

Grammaretto

That's true keepingquiet but the OP was offering to help her.
It was the refusal to accept help which surprised me.

People have offered to help me too and sometimes I've accepted it, especially with lifts as I still can't drive.

I have also told them the list is very long at which point they tend to go quiet lol!

Help from others can sometimes be anything but, even though offered in a well-meaning spirit.

I find it strange that some people seem to think this woman maybe now have mental health problems and live in a hovel!

Astounding how assumptions can be made with so little information.

I really must get the door- I think the men in white coats are here!

keepingquiet 😂

Maybe next time I'm not invited over the threshold I should enquire if they have a very messy house, have mental health problems or just don't like me!

When I was a census taker I had strict instructions not to call on anyone before 12 on a Sunday and never to enter their house.

I know some people thought it very odd that we weren't permitted to sit down and chat.