Resentment

Married 30 years. He came from a very poor background. I pushed myself in my career to achieve a comfortable standard of living for us so we could buy our own house. There’s never been much emotional connection but we live together in the same house without any dramas and we are there for each other in emergencies. He has always prioritised his sport often going away at weekends when I would look after the kids and house. I wanted to be with the kids I wanted that family thing but he was absent most of the time and at birthdays and especial occasions doing his sport. Fast forward I have taken redundancy and early retirement for which I worked and saved hard. I live my own life, do my own things. He now also wants to retire early but as hes never progressed much above minimum wage his pension pot is very small. His unspoken expectation is that I will fund this including the travelling that we’d both like to do. We’ve always shared our money equally regardless of who contributed the most but now I feel resentful. My standard of living in retirement will have to drop considerably to fund his early retirement. I know I need a conversation but I feel so guilty having to say I’m not prepared to sub him. I wonder if men (who of our generation are usually the main earners) feel this way when they sub their wives in retirement? My husband is a practical man. He’s never felt the need for emotional connection. He spent my 60th birthday away with his club and didn’t even manage to say “happy birthday”to me which I found more hurtful than if he’d actually forgotten my birthday. I’ve toughened myself up over the years but Sometimes I feel like a door mat. He does his share of cooking and he looks after the garden and does the DIY. He’s not a horrible person, but why would someone expect their wife to fund their (very) early retirement? If I were in his shoes I would work for longer to “make up” my financial contribution so that we could be more of an equal footing. How do I have the conversation without sounding bitter or angry and without putting him down?