My husband kicks and punches me.

Separate bedrooms.

Divorce!

Are you very sure he is sleeping? Have you been awake to confirm at any point?

I am curious to know precisely what type of help your husband is able to give you in the night.
You definitely need to sleep in separate beds even if this means moving all other furniture out to fit 2 beds in.
Other options would be a sofa bed for one of you in the lounge or a proper carer or at least an assessment by a healthcare worker for both yours and your husbands’ needs.
Personally -the first time it happened would be the last for me.
All apologies accepted, but this is a tad more serious than say, snoring which is extremely difficult to sleep with. Waking up with injuries is absolutely unacceptable.

Coosman - that’s naughty 😂

Is he willing to do things to help?

Reduce caffeine?
Pillows down the middle of the bed?

I have heard of this happening before and the solution is, as you say, separate beds or seperate bedrooms.

You say this is not possible. Could you not have two single beds with seperate bedding pushed up beside each other, with the separate duvets sindwiched between the two beds.

I would also get your husband to see the doctor - you go with him to explain the problem - there is likely something that can be done about this.

Separate beds essential

Is he upset with you?
By that I mean, not enough to do anything by day, but in his dreams/subconcious, he is annoyed with you?

I have the same situation my husband is usually kicking and running. I can feel him starting to move his knees so know a kick is coming so I poke him in ribs or hit his head, that soon stops it.

I can’t recall its name but this behaviour in older men is a recognised Thing. My lovely, kind, calm father in law kicked and hut out in deep sleep. Mum in law ordered twin beds. Problem solved

If you can think of the name, I would be interested to know. Iam64.

Have you tried waking him as he gets twitchy by asking "are you dreaming? Are you OK?
He may be fending something off...

My husband has never hit or hurt me but is a regular dreamer and fights off lions and so on to rescue people, get an animal to safety or whatever. I often ask if he's OK. He knows at once he's dreaming and can settle quickly.

Your DH needs to see a GP pdq! He may not be doing this deliberately but he could injure you seriously.

My partner went through a phase of this. His was down to a medication he was taking. That was stopped and he’s now fine.
But there are several reasons for this which should be checked out.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/rem-sleep-behavior-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352920

PS I’m with the separate beds or even separate rooms!

Coosman

Are you very sure he is sleeping? Have you been awake to confirm at any point?

I am sure he’s sleeping, we’ve been married 38 years and I know when he’s asleep.

petra

My partner went through a phase of this. His was down to a medication he was taking. That was stopped and he’s now fine.
But there are several reasons for this which should be checked out.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/rem-sleep-behavior-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352920

That’s really interesting, and a bit scary!

Rapid eye movement sleep behaviour disorder.
Get him to see a doctor, there are things that may help.

Granmarderby10

I am curious to know precisely what type of help your husband is able to give you in the night.
You definitely need to sleep in separate beds even if this means moving all other furniture out to fit 2 beds in.
Other options would be a sofa bed for one of you in the lounge or a proper carer or at least an assessment by a healthcare worker for both yours and your husbands’ needs.
Personally -the first time it happened would be the last for me.
All apologies accepted, but this is a tad more serious than say, snoring which is extremely difficult to sleep with. Waking up with injuries is absolutely unacceptable.

I have a spinal cord injury and am paraplegic therefore he needs to be on hand.

This is the email message I received today from Boots this afternoon . I’m all for forward planning but truthfully I’m still hoping summer will come and can’t really face thinking about autumn just yet!

crazyH

Coosman - that’s naughty 😂

I was just reading about a freshly postpartum woman who described her husband as the salt of the Earth…and then she overheard him call her the ‘c’ word under his breath when he thought she had fallen asleep. Nothing surprises me these days.

My daughter-in-law has restless leg syndrome, and it has an underlying medical cause which has now been treated. It was explained to her that there can be several m focal causes, including some which are quite serious. Your husband needs to see his GP as a starting point.

This sounds to me lie a sleep disorder. When we are fully asleep our bodies are made immobile for this very reason.
You both need to sort this out with medical help as it isn't good for either of you.