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My Ex

(55 Posts)
Melinda63 Sun 11-Aug-24 01:14:34

I have been divorced from my ex for ten years but we have remained friendly and we still do things together with our daughter and her husband. My daughter is expecting her first child and is a high risk pregnancy so we do everything we can to keep her stress as low as possible. I have just discovered that my Ex may be addicted to pornography online. He doesn't know that i am aware of this and actually no one knows because I don't know what to do. My daughter is very strong and she Is an only child. She normally helps my Ex with things he needs help with in his life because he has severe Adhd. This is not something I can share with her especially since she's pregnant. I came on here because I really don't know what to do and I really don't have anybody to talk to about it. Porn addiction can really wreak havoc in someone's life and can seep over and impact loved ones. I know that I could probably talk to him about it and offer some resources to him. I don't feel like I can talk to one of his friends or his family. Do I just ignore it and allow it to impact his mental health and potentially impact my daughter and her new family? I'm angry because I think he's been doing this a long time and I didn't know about it. I do care about him and I don't want him to be hurt in any way. Neither of us have remarried or been in another relationship. Our little family is very close and I guess i don't feel like I can ignore it. I just would love to hear some sane thoughts about this. Thanks for listening.

Galaxy Sun 11-Aug-24 22:15:23

People can have any boundaries they like. I remember a man once popped onto MN to ask what was the best thing he could do as he was about to be a father to a daughter. Most of the replies were dont have porn in the house. Its not a question of being shocked, it's that many people view porn as abusive and it is certainly causing damage to young people. The last government were talking about instigating a study into the impact on young people but if course that didnt happen.

Babs03 Sun 11-Aug-24 23:13:23

As others have said leave well alone. Am sure your ex is not going to allow his porn addiction to impact upon your daughter or anyone else.
And though you may not approve of your ex viewing porn you could be over egging the pudding by calling it an addiction, some adults just like to watch porn regularly, and as long as it isn’t underage porn there is nothing you can do about it.
You are more likely to cause an impact upon your daughter if you make a big deal out of this.

Cossy Mon 12-Aug-24 08:45:21

BlueBelle

This is malicious
First no one’s business much less an EX of 10 years for crying out loud she shouldn’t be in his business 10 years after they parted
Second she doesn’t even know … just ‘thinks’ so how does she know is she spying on him or looking on his phone etc ?
All you who are ‘shocked’ at men looking at porn might be surprised how many men and women do
Poster didn’t suggest it was anything to do with children or young people that’s a made up story by a poster way up
There is NOTHING to suggest a man who watches adult films would not be a good Dad or grandad
He sounds a very good Dad and they ve been apart 10 years leave him alone and get out his business Melinda

Yes!

pascal30 Mon 12-Aug-24 09:42:50

Cossy

BlueBelle

This is malicious
First no one’s business much less an EX of 10 years for crying out loud she shouldn’t be in his business 10 years after they parted
Second she doesn’t even know … just ‘thinks’ so how does she know is she spying on him or looking on his phone etc ?
All you who are ‘shocked’ at men looking at porn might be surprised how many men and women do
Poster didn’t suggest it was anything to do with children or young people that’s a made up story by a poster way up
There is NOTHING to suggest a man who watches adult films would not be a good Dad or grandad
He sounds a very good Dad and they ve been apart 10 years leave him alone and get out his business Melinda

Yes!

agreed