Should I ask my partner to leave?

We think you know the answer to your question!

I think that, by noting all of your complaints against your partner, you may have realised what's best for you already. Good luck

You sound quite self sufficient, and he seems to be irritating you and living off of you.

Quite honestly, I’d sooner be alone.🤷‍♀️

He could still remain in touch with your GCs.

I am so much happier living on my own than with my late husband. To all and sundry he was a really jolly chap and was well liked. That was window dressing. I say, go with your instincts and be happy!

I think you know all the answers doesn’t sound as if either of you love the other it’s just been convenient for both of you

Sounds like a cocklodger as they so aptly term it over on MN.
Get rid.

Oh dear!!

I think you should just nicely tell him it’s over!

Get him gone. welbeck is right; he's a cocklodger looking for a roof over his head and a skivvy to clean up after him. You don't need him.

Is he fully aware of your feelings?
No disrespect meant here but it sounds quite harsh on him that he’s spent 10+ years with you doing up your house while you sort out his weak areas, for you to turf him out because he’s untidy and disorganised and you are very capable.
No justification from me, if you’ve gone off him just be honest with him but not totally unfair.

I am much happier on my own, many of us are, and I think you would be too.

He's a big boy and will sort himself out with somewhere to live, you don't need to feel responsible for him. By joining online dating, if indeed he "didn't meet anyone" (ha!) he has shown he's looking ahead. He will probably move in quickly with another woman who has a house!! It's not your problem or your worry. Please don't give his housing another thought.

You can't trust him, can you? Is that the sort of partner you want ... someone who sponges off you and doesn't treat you with respect?

As others have said, tell him nicely that it's over. Give him a date to move out and be prepared to change the locks ASAP.

It sounds as if you have totally gone off him, so it's unfair on both of you to keep things going.

There doesn't have to be anyone wrong, or right, (even though he's got a damn cheek perusing dating sites!) but probably better to part ways on good terms, and perhaps remain friends.

You need to get some legal advice if you own your home OP. He might make a claim for 50% of it if he can prove that he's contributed towards the upkeep and maintenence of it. If it's a rented house, in your name, it's not so much a problem.

You say "My dilemma, my kids know all this but quite like him but they’re very evenhanded, he’s a grandfather figure to my grandchildren, they’d miss him."

If you leave he will most likely still see the grandchildren, he won't disappear and unless there is a prenup or some other legal agreement the house and money could be split 50/50

It's run it's course! time to move on.

I think you need to take legal advice as to what, if any, financial settlement he could realistically claim from you.
Personally I'd be horrified if he could claim 50% of the house you bought, just because he's done some diy!

If you leave he will most likely still see the grandchildren, he won't disappear

As soon as he latches on to another woman who can support and house him, he'll be gone. No loss to the grandchildren, he's hardly a good role model so don't let that worry you.

As others have said you already know the answer to this. So just rip off that plaster and do what had to be done, dithering will just prolong the agony.
Good luck.

If you decide to participate, I dought he would get 50/50 of the house you paid for.
He pays no rent, but pays for groceries and does DIY grudgingly.

You know what you have to do .

You deserve better. You already know what it is that you must do. Seek legal advice. Be strong. Be determined. Take back control. Every good wish for a totally satisfactory outcome.

I've just Googled "Legal Rights of Unmarried Couples Separating After Living Together rafichagran and I'm afraid that, unless the couple entered into an agreement about their assets, prior to living together, he very well could make a claim. Legal advice is most definitely needed.

Ask yourself the question 'So what is going to happen if and when one of you gets ill and old age really bites?' Who is going to do the caring etc? Believe me, it is tough towards the end. Been there, got the T shirt and still recovering.

In the words of Gloria Gaynor:

"Go on, go, walk out the door
Turn around now
You're not welcome anymore"

This bloke is a player and the OP is better off without him.

I hope the ankle injury heals quickly.

Read through your own post and pretend it's written by a complete stranger.

What would you advise them to do?