Talking of being married in white, should you really have done it ( if you did)?

As a sixteen year old I worked in a pharmacy and all condoms were wrapped up in brown paper and the price written on them. 3/6d, 3/9d, and 5 shillings.

TerriBull

My post probably sounded flippant...

Absolutely not!

I didn't mean to sound 'starchy' when I opined that marriage was a serious commitment... I'm a second-time-rounder myself.

You hit the nail on the head of what I was attempting to say...

With that in mind, the extremes some go to as to what they expect from the day and the lead up appear completely over the top and superfluous as to the essence of taking a serious vow

... I'm generalising here of course, but it does seem increasingly as if marriage is all about the big fat wedding (so to speak)..

Each to his /her own, of course - and in some instances, the bride really does look totally divine on the day, among the artfully and carefully crafted arrangements.

The ONS indicates that divorce rates are increasing - for both opposite-sex and same-sex marriages. However, those more recently married (2005 and 2015) are showing reduced levels of divorce. Time will tell.

chocolatepudding, I’m so so sorry. I had a difficult MIL, but yours takes the biscuit 💐

I wore ivory-cream silk, and a coloured mantilla instead of a veil.

Being past my first youth, I felt it highly unlikely anyone would think I was still a virgin, but hinted at the fact by the lack of pure white and veil and lack of the customary myrtles, worn by virgin brides in Denmark in preference to orange blossom.

I wore purple on one day and red the next .
My mother was upset that I didn't have a white wedding .
I understand how she felt , but she used to over organise everything .
My baby came 18 months later as planned .

Rather a personal question , Daddima !
I think that most of us weren't virgins in the mid seventies ,when I married .
I only know of one , who was constantly held up to be a paragon of virtue by the older females in our family .

Reminds me of a joke told by the wonderful Dave Allen.

A girl was arranging her coming wedding with the priest. The priest asked her, “what colour wedding dress will you be wearing ?”
“Why, Father? What colour should I wear?”
“Well, if you’ve been a good girl, you should wear white. But if you haven’t, you should wear blue”.
The girl’s prompt response was “then I shall wear a white dress”. (Small pause) … “With little blue spots on…”

Yes Dickens exactly, I don't expect everyone to agree with my views on over the top weddings and all the imo ,superfluous nonsense that some people expect surrounding such occasions, but it's good to find a like minded person on the matter, I'm sure there are others out there too. One only has to read posts relating to hen dos, and weddings over on MN to know how divisive those events can be. Often invitees are expected to jump through hoops to meet over inflated expectations as to what should be a simple taking of vows and making a commitment. In particular, stumping up money they can't afford to go abroad on a hen week-end or even week, not being able to get the time off work, not being able to juggle that with other commitments, and that's before the expense of the nuptials themselves. I'll always remember one such thread over on MN where the poster outlining a directive, (and that's exactly what it was) sent by the mother of the bride as to her daughter's forthcoming hen week before the wedding and was so outrageous in how the invitation was couched it was unintentionally hilarious. Something like this "X is getting married next year and as a bridesmaid you will be expected to come on the hen week which was to be somewhere abroad, cost well over £1,000. I'm giving you all plenty of notice, so time to save up and there are to be no ifs or buts you will be expected to attend." The poster then had the temerity not to be available for a sunsequent zoom meeting to discuss all this forthcoming b****cks because she was a NHS worker and had to go in a do a shift on that evening, causing much inconvenience.. She also at a later stage raised her doubts about fitting said week away around work and family commitments. and eventually extracted herself. To cut a long story short the bride to be dropped her, and her husband got dropped from the stag week-end (probably a blessing) and then they both had their wedding invitation withdrawn as did another bridesmaid who had the bloody cheek to get pregnant which of course would ruin the photos on the day Honestly you couldn't make it up. Needless to say 99% of those that posted were entirely behind this woman and said this is not a relationship worth a light.

Off white for me.

Esmay

I wore purple on one day and red the next .
My mother was upset that I didn't have a white wedding .
I understand how she felt , but she used to over organise everything .
My baby came 18 months later as planned .

Rather a personal question , Daddima !
I think that most of us weren't virgins in the mid seventies ,when I married .
I only know of one , who was constantly held up to be a paragon of virtue by the older females in our family .

It wasn’t meant as such,( and nobody had to answer). It was rather that I assumed people of my age didn’t really see white as a ‘ symbol of purity’ any more.

1963, I wore a lemon 2 piece with white accessories, registry office. Our daughter was born just over 4 and a half months later. I lived with my grandma before marriage, we didn`t even dare hold hands in front of her! Didn`t tell her I was pregnant, but someone did whilst we were on honeymoon, when we got back we were told not to darken her door again, we`d disgraced the family. We lasted just over 53 years, until my husband died.

I wore white on my wedding day! Not pregnant.......but!! 😅😅

I just did what was expected on my wedding day, with the usual church and paraphernalia which my parents probably couldn’t afford. It fills me with horror now, and thank goodness we’ve moved on. I didn’t wear white. Had a lovely pale blue dress. Impure or what?
Horrendous double standards. Nobody cares now.

I wore white first time round but we were living together before we married so I wasn’t pure hahaha what funny thinking
My children and only married grandaughter all wore white but were living with their partners before, I don’t really get it I thought that all went out decades and decades ago

Well I wore white first time around and blue second time 🤣🤣
I married first time early 60 s doubt if there were many vigins around then 🤣🤣🤣

I wore white first time round and wore white full bridal second time too

Oh well, what queen Victoria decided is neither here nor there.
I think I'd look like a large ice-cream van, floating down the aisle in white.

I got married in a pink Laura Ashley dress in a registrar's office with my two children in attendance.(the third came along 5 years later)

I wore white: it was a borrowed, very simple, empire-line dress. Borrowing it cost nothing; the wedding was on quite a tight budget. (Like Graceless it was at a Registy Office, with my child in attendance.) The marriage is still going strong after over forty years!

White first time. A lovely faded lilac the second. If I wanted white I would have done it, but it wouldn't be a white bridal dress as I had already done that.

The title amuses me should you really have worn white if you did! I think when you get married you will wear exactly what you want to wear surely!

Register office wedding.
I wore a vibrant pink dress and jacket.
No hat.
No comment.

I wore a turquoise maternity dress say no more 😱! Marriage lasted 53 years when by beloved died! They said it wouldn’t last.

This is such a 1950’ssubjevt (or earlier) isn’t it? It’s intrusive, snigger, snigger, maybe blush blush - but who cares? The tradition of a wedding dress being white only dates from Victorian times, brides in wartime wore what they could and the bottom line for me is whose business is it and who cares anyway?

GrannyGravy13

Queen Camilla did not wear white when she married King Charles, she wore grey.

Thank you GrannyGravy - good point.
Whole thread is a bit pointless isn’t it?

I,m still trying to figure out why anyone in 2024 would ask”should you really have done it if you did” That is very odd to think like that nowadays.