Abuse, silent treatment, threats

I have known of a similar relationship like this, but it was the wife being abusive. I feel you should definately speak to a professional person who deals with these kind of situations.
I hope you can find a way out of this awful relationship - sooner rather than later. Be brave.

You have been controlled by this man.

Now it’s your time to go.

Presumably of you worked you have a pension some money, gather what you can and leave.
You could rent a holiday cottage or similar for a couple of weeks breathing space.

Try and get as much financial information on your husband as you can, your solicitor will need this and he sounds like the sort of man that may hide such information.

Good luck, I hope 2025 is a better year for you.

Oh my goodness, please leave . Some very sound advice on GN , you must protect yourself. Get organized , pack a bag , gather any documents you can, hope you have access to cash. Contact women's aid today , you must leave . Thinking about you , lots of people here ready to support you.

I feel for you OP. You must be in turmoil. Be brave now. You’re worth it.

As others have said, you need to get out NOW - TODAY ideally.

Lots of love to you xx

You must leave as soon as possible. When he is out all your important documents, including any joint bank statements into a folder and photograph them onto your phone.
I hope you have some of your own money. Pack a small bag, you can hide for now, contact Women’s Aid and leave.
Try to act normally, it would be dangerous for him to know your intentions.
Leave as soon as you can, today would be good, even if to a B&B, forget Christmas. You deserve so much more than this.

Leave now, by any means possible. Living on the street would be more pleasant than the life you describe.
Phone police, local council, and do whatever they suggest without delay.

Please get help find the number for local Women’s Aid where you live. Do get in touch don’t waste time your husband sounds very unstable.

If you are able to use a phone please contact an organisation that will be able to help you -

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

www.womensaid.org.uk/

www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/find-help/

Are you able to get out on your own? Even a local Age UK, a church or your GP will be able to at least point you in the right direction.

Please LynnieME, don't land up being another statistic. Come back here if you need to and you will get lots of support.

You need to find a way to leave, not "exist". That's no life.

Dig deep, face forward, and leave. Many years ago I left an abusive relationship by booking flights using my then husband's credit card (I had no money). By the time it was discovered he had other matters to worry about (divorce).

Your peace is not negotiable.

Report this to a solicitor.
Report this to your doctor.
Not a good time of year to make contact, but I am sure people will give you contact numbers to use.
Make a written record of everything that has happened and keep in a secure place.
Then get out to a place of safety.

Get out….

I am so sorry you're going through this Lynnie. Rather than needing "to find a way to exist", I think you need to find a way to leave.

Speak to someone - a counsellor, the Samaritans, anyone - to get some support to do this. This is rampant abuse from your husband, you could have 20 more years of it, it could get even worse, and you deserve much better.

I see you say you have no family so presumably no adult children.

for you. Look after yourself because no one else will. Come back on here for support. Many of us have had traumatic relationships including me. We understand.

This is not normal
What are you apologising for ?
Gather as much money as you can , find the woman’s refuge , get out
Not easy but do you want to be the next Femicide victim?