Am I going mad or just turning nasty

I've been irritated too, by nearest and dearest, for different reasons in each case. I think most of us have. I hope as I read through the Grans' replies there will be some help and advice available.

I know what you mean! My DH can be irritating, too, much as I love him.

Without being sexist, perhaps we should remember that men and women see things differently, think differently and have different priorities.

Moreover, despite spending most of our lives with a partner, we are still two individual people. We may grow together in many ways but we're still people in our own right.

Mine says I don't irritate him, but I'm pretty sure that I must do!

Op my dh is the same , leaves cupboard doors and drawers open . Always has and I have no idea why . He’s messy and I’m tidy but we’ve been married 36 years this year .
I also do the sweary rant in my head . I think you’re normal and not mad or bad .

This is so so common. I have these issues with my OH, he is infuriating. He tuts at most things i suggest, doesn't like going out for a nice drive, thinks I do too much socialising, which I do not. I see my neighbour (good friend), a few times a week, but half an hour or so, I go out with my sister once a month, and that is it!! But since we are at home together all the time, I cannot bear the constant gripes and moans about everything. I try to avoid putting the news on, because he has to comment on all the ills of the world, and what he would do to correct them-usually something illegal or violent.
He has become so intolerant of everything, even his own adult children. But he has many good points, is a hard worker, helps me keep the house tidy and in order.
My daughter is a phycotherapist, and she tells me this is one of the most common problems that older women with husbands under their feet, that she sees. She suggests carrying on with doing what pleases you, you cannot be totally responsible for making them feel better about stuff, so do your own thing, he will get over it. If he doesn't, it is his problem, do not beat yourself up about his moods and attitudes, and sweetly do your own thing.

KGee

Same here. My husband is very untidy and when I ask him to put his things away, he tells me to calm down. Needless to say this has the opposite effect!

Apparently telling your wife to calm down is the quickest way to turn a sofa into a bed.

Last time I was at my friends house she was going on about something and her husband who was sat out of her sight but still in mine was pulling faces in her direction.

Goodness there are some short fuses on here! Please ladies try not to sweat the small stuff. In the big sea, it’s inconsequential, trust me. Sadly when you get given bigger fish to fry you do get a reality check. 😢

That said, it’s mid winter. We’ve all been cooped up so perhaps things niggle more. Spring and outdoor pursuits will help.

I will politely remind by dh to put away or pick up something he has used. The response is that he forgot but its all the time I get irritated and frustrated and end up shouting.
Then I feel guilty because I have gone over the top. My dh is not lazy but forgetful and he now considers I am a nagging wife!

I'm the same. My husband leaves drawers and cupboards open, which annoys me. He never puts a new toilet roll on the holder, he leaves a knife out whenever he's buttered bread or toast. There are various things I do that must irritate him, too. We're at home together all the time (both mid-60s, married 44 years).

We do have a swear at each other - it's only words and is soon forgotten about.

I used to think my late husband Paw was very untidy whereas I merely make the house look homely.
On my own now I have nobody else to blame -apart from the dog- when somehow it is not always immaculate (as if) , so as FGT2 says don't sweat the small stuff.
Nobody's perfect.

But, carrying a pile of laundry, plates of food, etc, it's not always easy to see if a drawer has been left open until you walk into it!

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

Marydoll

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

I'm sorry- I wasn't aware this was one of the incidents OP was complaining about and my comment was addressed to her.

I know what you mean FGT2 but sometimes it's the small stuff that might just tip you over the edge.

I've just had a bit of a tantrum (but quietly, to myself!).

Apologies ladies.
I didn’t mean to bring a light hearted thread down. Not my intention at all.
That said, I’m very (extremely) laid back. We’ve been married 50 years and little irritations have never bothered me. I suppose it’s down to our own personalities as much as anything.

RosieandherMaw

Marydoll

I thought this thread was meant to be lighthearted. Certainly no intention of upsetting those, who have lost loved ones.

BTW. I don't think a massive bruise on one's leg, after walking into an open dishwasher door, especially, when on blood thinners is sweating the small stuff. It was blooming painful!

I'm sorry- I wasn't aware this was one of the incidents OP was complaining about and my comment was addressed to her.

I was referring to myself, Maw, as mentioned earlier in the thread. These irritations may seem small, but they can have serious consequences.
My DH remains blissfully ignorant, I fume quietly because it isn't worth falling out over and anyway it falls on deaf ears .

It all sounds perfectly normal to me!

I thought the gist of the thread was pointing to the being nasty bit.
I don’t have a husband but I do have irritating people in my life including friends.
When I am really annoyed/ fed up with them, while smiling and nodding ,I am saying words in my head that would never ever cross my lips and which have only come into my mental vocabulary recently.
If ever I forgot and said them out loud I don’t know who would be more shocked, them or me.
Am I alone in this?

On a lighter note: DH was trying to fit a camera at our back door and was having all sorts of issues. I offered some advice, since IT was my forte. He refused, because he knew what he was doing.
This saga went on for ages, until he eventually asked for help. Unknown to me, the camera had been recording the whole time, that I had been muttering and swearing under my breath!

It's so hard to adjust to being together a lot more once you're retired. I have to bite my tongue too about things I hardly even noticed before we were together virtually 24/7. Every time he gets up out of his armchair, his hanky falls out of his pocket. Not a major disaster and he always picks it up again, but I want to shout, "For crying out loud push it in properly, then it won't keep ** falling out!" (I don't really swear at him but the temptation towards injecting a bit of colour into the sentence is almost irresistible sometimes.)

Apparently this is a very common issue called 'retired husband syndrome'

😂😂😂

Oh Marydoll that made me laugh. I’m as bad as the rest of you. The language inside my head! But why open a drawer and then butter a piece of bread just above it? It’s no good saying that they’re easy closing drawers, just means they don’t slam. 57 years and counting .

Usedtobeblonde

I thought the gist of the thread was pointing to the being nasty bit.
I don’t have a husband but I do have irritating people in my life including friends.
When I am really annoyed/ fed up with them, while smiling and nodding ,I am saying words in my head that would never ever cross my lips and which have only come into my mental vocabulary recently.
If ever I forgot and said them out loud I don’t know who would be more shocked, them or me.
Am I alone in this?

No because I say them out loud. 😂

How nice to hear I’m not the only one whose Dh drives them 🤯. We are complete opposites , and after nearly 54 years married plus 5 years before that, I think we’re doing ‘ok’.

I think the answer is to have regular breaks from each other, whether it’s a walk , a hobby or even a weekend away.

This sounds fairly normal to me.
DH died 4 years ago and I miss him very much but ofcourse there were times when he drove me to distraction! He was more patient than me but also extremely untidy creative mind.
I am also untidy but less tolerant so was always the one who had to clear up.
Keep some separate hobbies and have some separate friends is my advice.

Marydoll 😂😂😂