Sister not talking to me any more

Hithere

I would concentrate on the human side (not on the number side)

Why she needs this much money?
Why did she threaten suicide?
Why does she need more money?

I find it curious you concentrate so much on the money and getting it back (which you may not) and not on her mental health, given you have/had a close relationship

I would be worrying about the money 10k is alot of money to lend someone even if it is your sister.
It's too glib to say you may get the money you may not, maybe you can afford to lose that money.
The above said I think there maybe something amiss and I would try to fund out.

Are you in touch with anyone in the country where your sister lives? Is there any family member of friend there whom you could ask to check on her? You don’t need to tell them about the loan, just say you haven’t heard from her and are concerned about her. Has your son or other sister any clue what is causing her problems?

I’d write, text or email to say you are worried about her. Assure her of your love and support, (not monetary).
Suggest that you should visit her to talk about what’s going on.
I like the idea of a safe and well check

What if you didn't have a spare 10 k lying about?

Gosh it sounds as though your sister is having serious problems .
Where does she live ?
Is it possible to visit her ?
She might be gambling or is a victim of a scam .
I'm wondering about mental health issues .
This needs investigating .

One of my friends had a mother living in Spain .
Spanish neighbours became increasingly concerned about her and managed to get her address book and phone her daughter -my friend .
She went out and found her mum in an extremely confused state as described by the neighbours .
She managed to get her on a plane back to the UK .
The flight was appalling as her mother was so disturbed .
Once here - Alzheimers was diagnosed.
She stayed with her in her house and it was a struggle to care for her .
Eventually she was put in a home after attacking her husband on several occasions .

I cant understand how she could ask you for money without giving a reason. Why does she feel you have all that money to give. Never borrowed or asked for money, up to to me to manage my finances. Do not believe in lending money as a refusal often offends. I lent some inheritance from my mother to a friend, now ex friend when I was young and believed what people said. She took offence at being asked to repay it, she didn't care I needed it.Never, ever again.

10 grand is a huge amount to lend without asking what for I cannot imagine anyone I know family, friends or acquaintances asking for any amount of money without giving an indication of what is wrong and why they need such a large sum we aren’t talking about £10 She needs more and has borrowed off your son and other sister Have you talked to them about it do they know any more details than you or have they just blindly given it? Have all of you lent large sums of money without anyone asking what for
Is she living far from you I mean NZ or Australia or nearer in Europe There’s something really worrying about this ?

As she is talking about suicide and you haven’t heard from her are you sure she’s safe ?

Notjustaprettyface
If someone is distressed I can see why you want to help.

Have you decided what to do to check on/support your sister?
I'm hoping that by now you have at least discovered she is OK?

Hello Allsorts
She said that she was struggling every month because her husband is now retired and his pension is not enough to cover their expenses
Did you get the money you lent back ?

Hello Bluebelle
The reason she gave is what I have said in my post to allsorts
Neither my son nor my sister know any more , she mentioned to them an unexpected expense with their leased car
But she didn’t say that to me
I think she is safe and I think she is bluffing when threatening to commit suicide

It’s very easy to get out of your depth financially not just by deliberate action like gambling but forgetting to renew insurance and you get damage you have to pay for. That may have happened if a car is involved.
She has stopped phoning because she is embarrassed to explain the problem and is further embarrassed because she doesnt know how to pay it back.

I'm pleased you believe she is safe.
That is something to be grateful for irrespective of the finances.

Well whatever it is she’s had enough from all of you

I'm relieved to see that she has a husband..