Emotional needs unmet

I should add as a caveat and aa part of the point of my being honest and wanting honest opinions here please, that I've recently reaquainted with an old friend of many years ago...ie pre marriage and we get on like a house on fire...

New "old" friends are not at all the same as someone you have travelled through life with.

Has your husband changed a lot recently? I feel he has been like this for some time.

Have you talked to him to let him know what you need?

The grass isn't greener on the other side, you must water your own grass.

It sounds like you require a lot of validation.

I don’t think you’re going to change him after 35 years, it’s a bit late now.

Oh come on get your validation from your work and your work colleagues or your customers if you need it that badly

Are you looking for GNers to approve of your new ‘friendship’ with an ‘old aquaintence’

If you ve been married for 35 years to a decent bloke and your only moan is he is not constantly bigging you up you ve got a problem and it isn’t him

I'd die of shock if my husband commented on what I was wearing

I wish I could be more sympathetic, but really?

If you ve been married for 35 years to a decent bloke and your only moan is he is not constantly bigging you up you ve got a problem and it isn’t him
Could not have put it better myself.

Grow up and realise it’s not all about you.

Jen67patte, sorry but you do come across as being rather needy and self absorbed. Getting involved with an 'old friend of the opposite sex' is dangerous territory even if it is only for them to tell you how nice you look in a particular dress.
If you feel good in an outfit then what more reassurance do you need?

What are you going to do when your old friend stops telling you how lovely, amazing, beautiful you look?
It’s your husband I feel sorry for.

If, as you say, he is a quiet man, then that doesn't mean he is isn't appreciative of your efforts to look nice. That's just how he is. You won't change him after 35 years!

Is this a cut and paste from Women's Weekly?

Presumably, you knew your husband before you married him, and I doubt he was any different then. You have presumably been content to be married to him up until now.

As others have said old flames turning up with firelighters in their hands are dangerous, they can burn you badly. All of us are susceptible to old flames and new who give us a sudden buzz and excitement, even when we are happy and content in our marriages, which is why most of us enjoy the buzz, while it lasts, but take it no further.

There are many middle aged and older divorce(e)s who followed a will o' the wisp like this, only to jump our of the frying pan into the fire, or end up alone, regretting responding to the buzz and ending nowhere.

You want our permission to conduct an affair? Nope. You own your decision and your actions.
You either stay with your husband, go to therapy, work on your marriage - whatever it takes.
Or you make up your mind to leave him and face the consequences.

Well you could have been describing my lovely OH who's great at the practical stuff that shows how much he cares but is totally hopeless at using words! Tbh I prefer the practical stuff. I'd probably have my head turned a bit if some guy was telling me how gorgeous I look but then I'd also be wondering about his motives.
Long relationships are built on more than flattery and lust. I've been having a period of accidents and illness recently and OH is utterly useless at supporting me emotionally through the odd patches of self pity and sadness but I absolutely trust him to be by my side with everything I need to make my life as comfortable as possible and I have some lovely friends to jolly me along if I feel down. I guess some women have it all but I don't know any!

Sounds like you are married to a typical kind of Englishman! Working in the fashion world probably makes you very sensitive to what everyone is wearing and the women you help are hoping for compliments but not necessarily getting them.
Old flames are best kept as memories

I used to say that my late OH would only notice what I was wearing if it was nothing!!

It sounds as though you have had your head turned by your "old friend" and your OH does not stand a chance of living up to the frisson that comes from some new attention.

Your OH is the man you have built your life around and he is not going to suddenly turn into a gigolo because you have someone new to compare him with. Most long term partners seem a bit mundane over the years. That does not mean that the grass is greener elsewhere or that the poor chap must suddenly become someone different for you.

Tell him what is happening with this friend so that the two of you can discuss the situation. This will probably involve looking at shortcomings, both yours and his. It needs to be a positive discussion rather than one starting with, "You never ......."

Really?

I'm not sure 🤔

Being complimented on what you’re wearing is the least valuable of any attributes of a husband. There are many more important ways of showing love, support, commitment. Think on.

OP ..emotional needs unmet? Just Emotional 🥹
.

To be honest if you've been like this for 35 years your husband might be rather relieved if you went off with someone else

You sound high maintenance.

My husband wouldn’t notice if I was ironing stark naked.

He has just waited on me hand and foot whilst I recovered from an accident.

I know which I prefer…