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Not sure what to do re jewellery

(41 Posts)
Silvermane Thu 19-Jun-25 13:02:38

I lost my father two years ago and my mother 24 years ago. I saw a friend the other day and she had a lovely heart shaped necklace on which had been made my melting her grandparents wedding rings (she is younger than me). Both her and her sister were given the same design of necklace by their mother by using the grandparents rings.
I have my parents rings and my mum's eternity ring so want to do the same. I would like a necklace and I am thinking of getting one made for my daughter.
My dilemma is what do I give my son? The options I suppose are nothing,
A necklace for his fiancée (she never knew my mum but knew my dad) or for his daughter (she is a toddler so didn't know either of my parents.)
I don't want him to feel left out but he doesn't wear jewellery so not sure if he will feel offended. Obviously I can talk to him about it but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions.
Maybe I am overthinking things!😂

Claremont Thu 19-Jun-25 13:12:12

Why not ask him what he thinks? If you can afford it, get the jewellery valued and give him the equivalent in cash.

keepingquiet Thu 19-Jun-25 13:15:57

Your over thinking would be stopped really quickly if you spoke to your family about this?

I have left my granddaughter my jewellery in my will, and my books and artworks to my grandsons.

Shelflife Thu 19-Jun-25 13:16:26

Sound advice from Claremont. What ever you do treat them equally.

Georgesgran Thu 19-Jun-25 15:48:02

My DD’s will ‘inherit’ my jewellery, but I also have 2DGSs. I’ve a matched pair of diamond signet rings that I used to wear on my little fingers and 2 pairs of gold cuff links - one pair was DH’s and the other his Dad’s, but I can’t remember which is which! I’ve boxed up a ring and a pair of cufflinks for each DGS and told my DDs to have them melted down and made into signet rings for the boys.

Mt61 Thu 19-Jun-25 16:48:00

Would your son be the type of person to bother if you & your daughter had necklaces made? You could leave yours in your will to his wife, or granddaughter.
Ask him if he would mind.

62Granny Thu 19-Jun-25 16:57:20

Did your dad have a nice watch or a pair of cufflinks or even a war medal or something else that your dad valued like something special related to a hobbie. It might not be used but might still be valued for the sentiment.

Visgir1 Thu 19-Jun-25 19:59:53

Tricky.... I had my mums wedding ring put into my Rings, I had my Engagement and other ring my DH bought me redesigned and melted down to restyle.
Recently I had my Dad's wedding ring which was a thick band made into x2 "wobbly" circles the same size as his finger, which my sister and I put onto Gold chains they look fabulous.
If you have gold left why not get it made into a little heart or something for you sons daughter? I would put a suggestion like that, forward explaining you thoughts, sure he will give you the answer.

Silvermane Thu 19-Jun-25 21:31:05

Thanks for the advice and suggestions. I'll speak to him before I make any plans

NiceDream Thu 19-Jun-25 21:35:24

Could you make his a keyring?

crazyH Thu 19-Jun-25 22:08:39

My daughter will get 90% of my jewellery. She is divorced. So she will not get anything from her ex-m.i.l.. My ds.I.l. will get jewellery from their mothers, my sons also give them beautiful jewellery but I will leave them a piece or two each. So too for my GC, just a little piece.
Gosh , I’ve got to sort all that out 😫

pably15 Thu 19-Jun-25 22:34:17

my wedding ring, engagement ring and eternity ring, will go to our 2 daughters and our granddaughter, my husbands ring will go to our son, and his watch will go to our grandson, quite a lot of my jewelry has been given to me by my daughters, so they can have whatever they want.

Maccy Fri 20-Jun-25 14:58:24

On a related note where can you get rings/jewellery melted down and made into something else?

jocork Fri 20-Jun-25 14:58:32

I need to talk to my DD about my jewellery. I wear yeallo gold but she doesn't, only silver / platinum. She was given a yellow gold ring by her gramdma for her 21st and was very disappointed as she would never want to wear it! I know she wouldn't want to wear my rings, or my mother's, the other grandma, for the same reason so I need to ask her if she would mind them being left to my grandaughter, her neice, as she hasn't got children of her own. Hopefully she may do before I depart this mortal realm which would make the decision easier. My will needs updating but originally leaves my engagement ring to her - the only really valuable piece.

Visgir1 Fri 20-Jun-25 15:06:50

Maccy

On a related note where can you get rings/jewellery melted down and made into something else?

An independent Jeweller will do it, or advise who can.
I had my Engagement Ring, plus another ring and my now replacement Engagement ring (melted down from original ones) all made by independent Jeweller.
Not as expensive as you would think.

Dizzyribs Fri 20-Jun-25 16:18:32

I gave my son his grandfather’s signet ring on his 30th birthday and my daughter got her grandmother’s signet ring on her 30th. Both were very well received even though they scarcely remember my dad, who died when they were 2 and 4. Mums ring was much smaller, and less valuable money wise, but each ring fitted their respective new owners. Both were really happy with my decision. After a discussion about my parents other rings they agreed that DD gets the (more valuable) engagement ring and DS the less valuable wedding ring (dad never had a wedding ring ).

Georgesgran Fri 20-Jun-25 16:25:38

As an aside jocork you are better to leave your jewellery out of your will altogether, but leave a letter or verbal instructions about its disposal.
My MinL listed all her jewellery which was to be given to her DD but it was given a monetary value and added into her total estate. DH wasn’t bothered, but in effect his sister received far more than him - as everything else was halved between them.

Dizzyribs Fri 20-Jun-25 16:26:55

I should add that neither of them liked the idea of me having the rings made into something for them . They don’t appreciate my taste 🙄and each individually said that the sentiment of owning jewellery that their grandparents had worn meant a lot more than the item. (Although I encouraged them to promise they’d do something different, like sell it or have it remodelled if they ever wanted to ).

4allweknow Fri 20-Jun-25 19:58:55

I am sort of in the same position. Two sons with on DGS and one DGD. When my DD died ny son in law gave me jewellery she had but he hadn't bought. I gave tgem to bt DGD. When DH died I gave gold watch to DGS. As to my jewellery I have had it all valued and have expressed it can either be all sold (which I think will be the preferred option) or sons can divide according to the value of each piece. I am not referring to the cheap stuff used more for dressing up.

Milest0ne Sat 21-Jun-25 08:45:19

If you are getting your jewelers melted down , go to a working craft jeweler who will use your gold and not just put it in a general melting pot. Perhaps you could think of a design which would retain the hallmark from the rings, which would keep them more personal.

Sarahr Sat 21-Jun-25 10:48:47

You don't need to give your son anything. Why do people always think that if they give one adult child something they have to do the same for the other(s)? Each person is different and there will be a time when you give something to your son. You don't have to then compensate your dd just because ds has something.

62dg Sat 21-Jun-25 16:32:39

My mother left her engagement ring to me, and I was all for having it redesigned as I thought it a bit old fashioned, but the moment I slipped it on my finger I could “feel” my mum and changed my mind. I am so glad I did and I have worn it every day since I got it. Very time I look at it it reminds me of my mum. I would talk to your son and see what he says. It’s a lovely idea you are thinking of doing.

xxxxxQRL Sat 21-Jun-25 17:44:39

Sorry to hi-jack your post Silvermane, but I'm in a similar position. I have just had my late mother and grandmother's jewellery valued and am undecided what to do. I will give half the value in cash to my brother. I will leave my wedding rings and other items to my 3 sons and it's up to them what they do with them. I do not wear much jewellery so unsure whether to have ear-rings made (which I do wear) or take the cash and buy something else to remember them by. Any ideas welcome..... Thanks

Seabreeze Mon 23-Jun-25 09:23:57

I would be devastated if anyone were to melt down my rings to make something else. I know it’s practical if you would never wear the rings but so much history and sentiment goes with them. I also wear my mother’s rings. It reminds me of seeing her wearing them.

Thiago23 Fri 03-Apr-26 11:23:48

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