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Birthday present disappointment.

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Shortbreadandkilts Sat 05-Jul-25 01:12:21

My garden was overgrown with lots of weeding needing doing and some trees cut down and back. I was given quotes by gardeners and the cost was more than I could afford. I mentioned it to my partner (we don’t live together) and he said he would do it for less. He did it, did a great job and it took the best part of a week. I asked him how much he wanted for the job and he said hang fire for the time being and pay him later. I was fully prepared to pay him. A couple of weeks later it was my birthday and I got a card from him and inside it said I had already had my present, it was the gardening. I know rationally that it was a very practical present and it saved me forking out a few hundred pounds on a gardener. However I felt really disappointed that he hadn’t got me a physical present, it spoilt my birthday although I didn’t show this. I know my disappointment is selfish and childish but I can’t help feeling it. I’m not a materialistic person and I don’t expect or want expensive or lavish gifts but I would have much preferred a small inexpensive gift. If he had asked me before hand would I rather have the garden done or a small present I would have definitely said the latter. Would others if given the choice have gone for the gardening which saved me a few hundred pounds or a less expensive but personal gift chosen by him for me?

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Mary59nana Sun 06-Jul-25 10:34:14

Sorry Shirtbreadandkilts you have come across as ungrateful and spoilt.
You dont deserve such a helpful kind partner.

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Mary59nana Sun 06-Jul-25 11:00:06

* Shortbreadandkilts*

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Parsley3 Sun 06-Jul-25 11:51:59

He did it, did a great job and it took the best part of a week. I asked him how much he wanted for the job and he said hang fire for the time being and pay him later.
It looks like he intended to do this as your birthday surprise from the start. What a pity his well intentioned gift backfired on him and it spoiled your birthday. Tell him in good time what you would like for your next birthday to avoid another disappointment and spend some of the money you have saved on a good night out for the pair of you.

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Crossstitchfan Sun 06-Jul-25 12:09:13

I hope this lovely man has seen the light, dumped ungrateful Shortbreadandkilts and found someone who will appreciate him. I couldn’t believe what I read from the OP. She sounds a nightmare and I suspect that what anyone buys for her will be wrong in one way or another.
I don’t think I would even give her a card in future. It might be the wrong sort, romantic when she wants humour, scenic when she prefers cartoons etc. Some people are never grateful, or satisfied.

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lovingit Sun 06-Jul-25 22:06:58

When my son asked me what I wanted for my birthday I asked for 2 days of his time fixing all the little jobs I cant do.So in August he's driving over from Poland with my grandson and meanwhile I am starting the list; fence painted,new light ,furniture moved,shelves.........
Three days of catching up and two days of jobs...perfect.

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Greenfinch Sun 06-Jul-25 22:10:14

What a brilliant idea lovingit. I hope you have a lovely time with your son.

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crazyH Wed 13-Aug-25 10:40:16

All that I want for my birthday (tomorrow ) is a Card.
I doubt I’ll get one this year - my sons are on holiday and my daughter doesn’t believe in cards but is taking me out for a meal tomorrow. A couple of friends will drop me cards if they remember .
I had a big birthday last year and had lovely celebrations, so I guess it’s going to be a quiet one this year.

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Athrawes Wed 13-Aug-25 10:52:33

I'm not one for birthdays so I'd happily be pleased with the gardening rather than a gift that may not have been what you would have liked.

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